[Jason]

I just found out my wife of 5 years has had an affair. I love her to death, and I know that I will not make it thru this , even if I should alone, what I mean is what should I do? I do love her, I feel heartbroken, and violated, what can I do? I want to work this out, but inside I feel I should just move on, we have no kids, and she had this affair twice on me. She said it is over with him and her, but I cannot trust her, I dont even want to be in the same house, what should I do? Can someone please help me??

I cannot trust her at all, every time she leaves the house you know what I am thinking, I am lost right now, about to loose it, I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jason, first thing, you need to get yourself help. There are many crisis management groups. When my first marriage broke up I went to a crisis group offered by my healthplan. I went to individual wellness councilor , I went to several 12 step programs (all free and meetings happen everywhwere.). Remember things like HALT dont get too hungry, angry, lonley or tired.

Let me know how this helps, there is endless resources for you to get through this!!

jason, first thing, you need to get yourself help. There are many crisis management groups. When my first marriage broke up I went to a crisis group offered by my healthplan. I went to individual wellness councilor , I went to several 12 step programs (all free and meetings happen everywhwere.). Remember things like HALT dont get too hungry, angry, lonley or tired.

Let me know how this helps, there is endless resources for you to get through this!!

jason, first thing, you need to get yourself help. There are many crisis management groups. When my first marriage broke up I went to a crisis group offered by my healthplan. I went to individual wellness councilor , I went to several 12 step programs (all free and meetings happen everywhwere.). Remember things like HALT dont get too hungry, angry, lonley or tired.

Let me know how this helps, there is endless resources for you to get through this!!

[Jason]

First off I would like to say thank you for you reply. I do need help, I could not sleep, I get mad just thinking about it, more each time, I know I will not hit her or get violent, my mother didnt raise me that way, but the anger and pain does hurt me, can you give me some more names of these types of groups, I will look in my area to see if they are available to me, if not , you said Crisis management groups right? I ll see what I can find. Thank you dearly, im in tears right now

If you have health insurance call their pschiatric or mental heath division, tell them your situation. They usually assign a councillor and might have special crisis workshops. Second if you dont get a councillor that way find a therapist who specializes in relationships.
There is also midfullness-stress reduction workshops.
I reccomend techniques like breath-work also know as rebirthing.
Try this go some where private and alone, Mabey in your car( you might want to park), think of the things that make you mad about this situation and let out your anger out. You can yell scream, use any language you want and PURGE that anger. Check out http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ and go to a meeting(you dont have to be affected by alcahol to get benefits from this. Check out http://www.slaafws.org/ these are great places to get personal(free) help.

These all helped me in my life, especially when I found out My ex-wife was a prostitute. I felt so much confused rage,I decided, whateverI did to attract this person into my life, I needed to change that. So I went to work on myself and did alot of hard work.

Remember, there is no way through this except through it.One day at a time (or minute for that matter) Its hard to see any positive in a situation like this untill later, but, Use this as a positive learning experierince. If I got through my experience and survived and became better and happier, Im sure you can too...If things look really bleak call freinds, family, hospuitals, or the samaritans, dont isolate!!!

Hang in there. Remember this most of all. Nothing that happens to you is EVER bigger or more important than you are!!