leaving on a sour note

Why does it seem like everytime my boyfriend and i have to part, whether i have to do something or whatever, it always has to be negative. Last time he was so upset that i was leaving, he got so quiet, and pissed, and just sad, and i couldnt figure out, he said maybe he was jealous because he doesnt have any friends and i do. Thats what he does when hes angry, hes very quiet because hes thinking but he wont tell me what hes thinking, so i get upset, and assume that its something i did. He cant have friends really because he lives away from anyone he thinks of as a friend, and really they arent his friends unless he has weed...so...i told him to get involved with a sport or club, but he doesnt have time, hes only 18 and hes already in debt and has to work full time, and apparently im the only thing that makes him happy. But if thats the case then why is it when he leaves or when i leave its negative. He cant be like " i love you hunnie i cant wait to see you again" it always has to be negative. The past two times have been bad. Today he was just angry, because i couldnt drive him home tomorrow although i had planned to, because i just learned my grandfather whose ill with cancer fell and probably wont be around much longer. I dont mean to make him sound selfish...but he has to be at this restaurant hes getting a job at between 8 and 10. So....i wasnt about to drive all the way out there, and then home, and then the hour and a half to my grandfathers...thats asking a lot, when his sister could just get off her *** and drive a total of a half an hour to get him and go home....should i feel bad? I always feel bad when hes upset, whether its my fault or not, and i know that not everything is my fault, but i just dont feel well at all....I feel sad, and now im just angry because no matter what i do it doesnt feel good enough.

all things shall pass...even life.

i'd be very careful here. from the brief description you've supplied here, your boyfriend sounds pretty passive-aggressive and controlling. try to remember that he is responsible for himself and his own happiness. don't give up doing things for yourself just to keep the peace with him or in an attempt to make him happy. it's verrrry tempting to do this if only to avoid the negativity that seems to occur whenever you do something he's not happy about. it's certainly a bad pattern i've fallen into several times in the past.

my husband used to be very passive-aggressive with me (not consciously) and one thing my therapist suggested that really helped is whenever we would have a disagreement and my h would try to make it my fault i would just ask him questions about what he said and not let him blame everything on me. for example, if i made a comment that offended my h, he would usually respond with something like "well i *was* in a good mood"--the implication being that i had single handedly destroyed his good mood through my insensitivity. so i started asking questions like "what was it about my comment that offended you?" or "why is this such a sensitive issue for you?" at first he would go on the attack, but i would keep turning his arguments around and asking him why he was choosing to respond to me in that way. it took a lot of effort, but by questioning him and remaining calm throughout the discussion, i took away all his ammunition and made him defend his position. he might still be pissed off, but at least i didn't let him blame it on me.

but like i said, this is just based on the few sentences you wrote about him here. there might be a whole lot more going on to which we're not privy...