[Razzleberry]

I just switched insurance and there is a 30 vist per year maximum. I thought, great, we could fit in 30 visits between now and December between my regular therpist and the marriage counselor. No problem, right?

Well, there is also a 60 visit LIFETIME limit on mental health sessions. I know I will need more than that. I have been going weekly.

I have Bipolar II Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. I was suicidal 3 times in 6 weeks in June & July.

My marriage is okay. He has been very supportive through all my recent crap, which really does mean a lot to me. I'm starting to see that he does love me.

However, we still live in more of a 'partnership' or brother-sister type relationship, and it's been that way for a long time. Not just intimacy, but we are not romantic at all, almost never.

And we have a lot of issues to work out. It took him 5 years to marry me, and even then he only said 'yes' - that's right, I had to propose - when I was pregnant.

And worst of all...in my impulsiveness...I cheated on him, more than once. The disorders explain why, but they don't make it okay.

So....long story short, what should we do? Money is VERY tight right now because I basically took two months off work, and now I'm just part-time.

Should we continue marriage counseling? Or save the # of visits for my own counseling? I do think a lot of 'our' issues are really 'my' issues, especially the impulsiveness. Maybe if we fix me it will fix us?

What do you think?

[bonaire]

Do either of you two have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)? If so, check with human resources at the firm regarding EAP. Employers cannot act negatively regarding EAP requests so you can be confident that they will not take negative action if you ask about it.

I haven't heard too much of lifetime limits - only annual. Make sure you do your work (ie. take the therapist's help and integrate it into your life) otherwise, you will be going to a "T" forever. The point being - insurance companies do want you to make positive moves after treatment. It's a personal issue and is hard to compare - but in some small way it could be like a doctor telling the smoker-patient not to smoke (for their own good) but they continue to smoke. Going to "T" is supposed to help you move forward and if it's not working, things like pharmaceuticals and other changes need to be made (or change the "T").

[AAAAA]

Razz, I'm so sorry, this is one of the things that make me so angry, the decision on how many sessions you need should be determined by you and your doctor! I know the thought of changing T's right now is just adding chaos to the mix, but look into Catholic mental health services or Lutheran Brotherhood that offer services at a sliding scale.

[FlowerGirl33]

I'm new here, so I haven't read all of your posts. But I would say, if something affects you, it will affect your marriage too. If you can figure out a way to keep doing the marriage counseling, I think it can help both of you to find ways to cope with your mental illness in healthy ways. If you can't afford professional counseling, then look into some type of clergy or community center that offers free counseling. Don't know if it would help any, but sometimes the best advice can come from unpaid volunteers who truly want to help. Anyway, keep trying and if you don't like a certain therapist, try another one until you find a good fit. Good luck!!