Stresses of Life affecting our Relationship

I've been with my partner for about 7 months now. He moved in after just a month, but we get on so well and just cant bear to be without each other. This is something we both want to make work....long-term. We both talk about marriage (even though we say this will not happen until at least a year together). We are both in our late 30's and both have a mature attitude towards our relationship.

At the moment we are both under so much stress it is putting a strain on our relationship, and even our sex life. We leave home at 6.00am (awake from 5am) every day to catch a train and then bus to work. Then i dont get home until 7.30pm at night. By the time i make dinner and sit down for a rest its time to go to bed. We are looking for someone to move closer to work, but its taking time to find. My boyfriend is doing an IT course as well as working full-time and the long hours has put a strain on him also. I had Chronic Fatigue about 10 years ago and even now find myself tiring very quickly.

I am overweight, but cant find an extra moment in my day to fit exercise in (though i go for a walk at lunch-time many times). I am desperate to get back to the gym, and I know this will all work out when we move close to work, but at the moment it is putting such a stress on our relationship. My partner gets so upset when i dont feel like sex, and he wants it almost every waking minute of the day. I come home from work exhausted and it is the last thing i want. I feel so guilty and I know it is hurting him so much not to make love but once a week, but i dont know what to do. We fight about it so often. I know he's trying to be understanding, but i know he feels like i'm rejecting him. I want to make love as much as he does, but i cant help how exhausted i am all the time right now.

I dont know what to do between now and when we move.

((Meggles))

Wow -- I'm exhausted just reading about your daily schedule!

You are so right about the exercise. It is such an important part of a busy life, but it can be so tricky to fit it all in.

A few thoughts for you:

Sex is great exercise. Maybe even if you are tired, you could 'schedule' three days a week for intimate time. Maybe on those days your partner could cook dinner, so that you have some extra energy for him. Look for a compromise -- so you both get more of what you want/need out of the relationship.

Try taking one small step in the direction you want. If your partner is supportive, hopefully he will be willing to take that step with you.

My boyfriend's schedule and mine are so opposite it isn't even funny. When we are together... we try to have as much fun as possible. Sometimes, he does want to be intimate when I can barely keep my eyes open. I've told him a few ways to wake me up nicely (soft kisses on my face, etc) and I've learned that I usually feel so much better afterwards that it's totally worth it. Maybe he can do something sensual that you really like to get you more in the mood or maybe reassuring yourself that in five or ten minutes you can get so into it. I hope it all works out!