**love and friendship formula**

I am no expert on this subject........but I have come to believe that I know one essential requirement for a lasting relationship. It is laughter ....I'm going through a rather scary time right now, healthwise, and this man of mine has had me laughing so much today that I've cried. Stress level has dropped to about a 2.....it was an 11 earlier......If I can't laugh with a partner, I'm outta there. And I think that in friendship, it's just as important. I finally quit, reluctantly, a 30+ year friendship, over the increased negativity and gloom and doom......she used to be so much fun and now I feel like I've been to a funeral when I see her.
Any comments?

Oh I love to laugh. The three commonalities among the Big 3 men in my life is that they ALL made me and other people laugh.

I luv it, and I luv people who help me not be so serious all the time.

"Laughter, the best medicine." Is that Norman Cousins or Reader's Digest?

fayerody,
I so agree with you. Laughter is the best medicine!! I miss the people in my life that could laugh from the soul. I often give comic relief in very stressful situations with my children. . . and we all appreciate it when we are able to laugh and have that welcome break. My best friends have wonderful sense of humors. It's something I cherish about them.

Beth

My best friend is my Hubby, I've been married 28 yrs, and he is always keeping me laughing, tells some of the corniest jokes I've ever heard.
I am blessed, then everyone here on the forum are my next best friends and I value each and everyone of you, you all come up with some good jokes so keep them coming
Angie

But what about for those of us who are like really severely depressed, but still have a sense of humor??

Can you deal with the gloom and the doom AND the fun all wrapped into one package?

I think the formula for staying good friends with me seems to be (1) having a fun and quirky sense of humor- otherwise, you won't get my humor, (2) being able to deal with my imperfections- including trust issues and depression and PTSD, (3) making your boundaries clear, and asking for support when you need it (aka not expecting me to read your mind, especially when I'm a mess myself). I try my darnedest to give all of those things in return, too. And personally, I think I'm a lot of fun and a great support to my friends.

My therapist and I were discussing things recently, too, and she said an essential piece (that has been missing in some of my relationships) is to recognize the imperfections in yourself, eachother, and the relationship, have your quarrels about it, and then PATCH IT UP. (She brought it up after the first time I confronted her because she hurt my feelings). She says that if you have an illusion of perfection, the relationship is doomed to fail. Or if you can't to come to them when things have hurt you, you're doomed to fail. And if you can't manage to patch things up, it's not going to work. She says these are all important parts of a healthy, reality-based relationship. I thought that was very enlightening, especially in consideration of my own history of relationship issues.

But I ramble! lol!

Angela