Has Anyone ever felt like this....??

Has anyone ever felt like dating again, but there not sure of themselves
because of failed relationships in the past...?

This comes into my mind alot these days. Especially after a five year
marriage and a 10 year relationship that went sour.

Its just really left a bad taste in my mouth sort of speaking.

Then there are others who seem to just get right back out there
and get hooked up hitched up or married again with no problem.

This has always confused me....

Now that my divorce is final alot of my friends keep asking me about dating. My x has already started dating but I'm definitely not ready. Our marriage has been over for years and I do think it would be nice to have somebody to do things with besides my male friends. My daughter and I are going to concert tonight but obviously that's
not the same as having female companion. I guess I'll know when the time is right.

I think we've all felt like that Ziggy. Hang in there!

I can relate to some things you said Ziggy. Except it's more that I am not sure of love or relationships. I am also unsure of myself as I have always been, but mainly the change is in how sure I am of love and relationships. My entire view of them, due to my past relationships, and also the observations of others' relationships, conversations with people, etc. has changed, as all these things have all led me to a complete rehaul of how I saw things. And utter disillusionment.

The thing is, I have went through where I did not want to seriously date at all. And even now, I am torn between wanting closeness and fearing it. I guess I want it, but I know it will not work. Nothing ever does. Love is a biological joke as far as I am concerned.

On thing that really struck me out of your post, is what you said about other people just going right back at it, and dating or marrying again with seemingly little problem. You said this confused you- me, too. One of my good friends is like this. She does get really upset and depressed about failed relationships, but always goes right back at it with a heart full of romantic hope. She is currently married. My mother is also this way. Well, not exactly. My mother is not full of romantic hope. She is a cynic, but has married several times. Another man I know, also married MANY times. Sometimes says he is happier alone, but has at other times said he is "still looking for the one." One of my friends is more like me. Took years for her to date again after her first serious relationship ended. I am extremely cynical and jaded, and am not the type to just run back into serious dating. Also, I expect I will never marry. But regardless of whether that happens or not, if I do, I cannot see myself marrying several times if I kept getting divorced. I cannot see me having a failed marriage, remarrying, failing, remarrying, etc. I don't know why people put themselves through it sometimes. And how do they keep the faith?

Anyway, sorry. Don't mean to be a downer- just honest. But I wanted to let you know I somewhat related. I am sorry you have been hurt, as well. I hope you find the ability to open your heart to someone who doesn't hurt it like this again.

You and only you know when you're ready to start dating again. Dont let other people pressure you into it. everyone is different.

I agree you do it only when you are ready. one thing though is that if we shy away from it the rest of our lives we close the door to that one chance of finding someone we can truely be happy with and and have them love you in return.

Thanks for all your responses, everyone who replied....

I have a friend now who I am close with and she and I had dinner and a
movie last night. But she has had bad relationships 2 to be exact and the
same with me (2 also).

She seems very comfortable around me because she surprised me last week.....(read my post about how my platonic girlfriend undressed in front
of me) easier to read then for me to go into it all over again..

And her and I are just Platonic but she did kiss me good night but I'm not
pushing it, Im afraid what we have now if we were to get serious may
get ruined.

Her 2 Boys really like me alot and I attend their football games because
their dad is a crack-addict. And thats his only purpose in life right now.

Who knows maybe in time we maybe intimate or more involved..?

My last relationship of 10 years (when it ended) really pushed me over the
edge and I just don't want to feel that type of pain again...!!!

Its taken me 5 years just to get over the last one...!!!