[Confused Girl]

I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years, things were soooo good at first real genuine. Anyway as time has gone on he has slowly revealed lies - nothing major like cheating on me. Anyway, we keep arguing over the silliest things i.e. by mistake we were messing about and i broke his coat button we had a massive row - he explained his reasons i still think it was silly. I just feel as if he doesnt love or care about me. I go out of my way to help him with things and he turns around and says what have you done for me. I dont want to loose him because he has made me happy in so many ways i just want a solution a way to make him realise how important i am to him, for him to see what he is doing is wrong! Help me Please, its really stressing me out...!

[Gleak]

Hey Confused Girl,

I know what you're feeling. I'm in a relationship of just over 3 years. At first, everything in our relationship was novel, like new, you know?

So everything was going great and felt really genuine. After a while, the novelty kind of wore off and we were both much more comfortable with each other.

A lot of our time together was spent at home (we live together) watching tv in our pj's and rarely talking.

Try to strike up a conversation with him when you two are together and alone and try to provoke answers to questions you don't even have to ask. What I mean by that is hint to him that you're feeling a little left out in the cold and offer a means for him to make you feel better about the situation.

Relationships are a lot of work, no doubt. Little things like a button being broken shouldn't be stressed. You should save that energy for things that truly matter (finances, kids, careers, etc. You know, things that really may matter to a person)

You could write him a little love note explaining how you felt when you two first got together and how you still feel that initial spark every time you look at him and see what happens.

Little things like that are what make good relationships great :P

[Confused Girl]

Originally Posted by Gleak

Hey Confused Girl,

I know what you're feeling. I'm in a relationship of just over 3 years. At first, everything in our relationship was novel, like new, you know?

So everything was going great and felt really genuine. After a while, the novelty kind of wore off and we were both much more comfortable with each other.

A lot of our time together was spent at home (we live together) watching tv in our pj's and rarely talking.

Try to strike up a conversation with him when you two are together and alone and try to provoke answers to questions you don't even have to ask. What I mean by that is hint to him that you're feeling a little left out in the cold and offer a means for him to make you feel better about the situation.

Relationships are a lot of work, no doubt. Little things like a button being broken shouldn't be stressed. You should save that energy for things that truly matter (finances, kids, careers, etc. You know, things that really may matter to a person)

You could write him a little love note explaining how you felt when you two first got together and how you still feel that initial spark every time you look at him and see what happens.

Little things like that are what make good relationships great :P

Hi Gleak,

Thank you sooo much for replying - didnt think anyone would!

I really appreciate your reply, but I have tried writing to him and telling him what is bugging me and how i feel about the relationship but he seems to have a sorrier story, saying I am to blame for all the happenings.

Whilst I understand everything you have said and totally agree, he doesnt and I dont know how to make him see sense. He things im wrong and he's right and im to blame and hes not! I dont know what to do, we have tried 'having a break' but it didnt work, He means the world to me and i just feel as if I make a strong step forward and he says something and am back at square one.

Should i try tough love and try and play hard to get and not be there for him like i have? do you think that will work?

[Gleak]

Well, it's hard to say what will work for you and what will not. Though, I think if you give him sufficient time to think, and continue to make your presence known as well as your feelings for him, then that may work.

If you continue to play the hard to get game, he may well just believe you've finally lost all interest and move along.

I really don't know. I do know that relationships are two way streets. All blame can not go one way. Neither can the happiness, y'know?

If he truly believes that you're to blame for something (and i'm not saying that you are) just hear him out and keep an open mind about what he's saying and if it makes him feel better, even if it's not true.. admit you're wrong and apologize. As long as he does too, you're good. In a relationship, pride belongs not!

Compromise comprimise comprimise!