[gracetoo71]

it's me again. i posted a few months ago about my marriage comming to an end because of parenting issues.

i actually went to t the first time alone, and the following few times me and husband went together. when i went alone, my t told me to leave, that i had a right to be happy and a second divorce was not the end of the world, but losing my mind was

after a few visits to t together, not one thing has changed, with the exception that his son got into an accident and was in the hospital for 5 days (can't help but think i told you so when i voiced my concern over a 13 year old boy hanging out with 17-20 year olds), he has gotten suspended from school, and the cops were here looking for him as a suspect for damage to a car.

all these incidents are not a big thing to my husband. they warrant no need for change, the boy is alive after the accident, he punched a kid for saying something to him, and he wasn't actually the one that did the damage to the car, he was just hanging out watching the kid that did.

i have had enough. i realize i made a mistake 3 years ago. i cannot risk me and mine for the sake of a marriage i no longer have a desire to be in with a man i no longer desire. i cannot take the stress of wondering what this kid will do next and hoping that it doesn't involve my kids.

i have finally reached the end of this dead end road and am staring at the sign that tells it all "dead end". my heart sinks, i feel the anxiety well up from deep inside. i must find the courage to turn around. i know that that is the hardest part. the journey back is easy. i can take a better look at the signs i had missed as i sped past them before. i can look forward to what is ahead, knowing for a fact it is not a dead end, but a new beginning. i must turn around, i must find the strength, the will, the courage, and my pride that i have lost. i can do this.

i thank you all for your support in the past on the forums and in chat. it is nice to know there are still some good people out there willing to help out, even if it means just laying a shoulder out there. i wish you all the best. take care
gracetoo71

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((gracetoo))))))))))))))))

[kimmydawn]

grace, good job of taking care of yourself and your children. i'm so glad you've found the strength to do what you need to do, and are looking to the future. divorce is hard, period. however, when we know we've done everything we can and that it is necessary, it helps when looking back on our lives. i feel you're at that point, not only is it necessary, but you've done everything you can. it will mean so much later.

gl with your life and be safe! come back and see us!

kd

[Wants2Fly]

Grace, my heart goes to you. Facing the end of the relationship is so difficult. Congratulations on having the courage to get counseling, and the strength to make this difficult decision. God bless you for taking care of the children that He has entrusted to your case. Best wishes for a smooth transition. And please let us know how you are doing.

[SadieMae]

You can do whatever you need to do. That's obvious because you have the strength and clarity to see things as they are rather than as you might like them to be. Don't forget to take your son with you on this journey--try family counseling for his sake; for you all to heal as a family. Regardless if you leave the marriage, that's his father forever so you are linked by him. Sounds like he's crying out for help by acting out. Help him, he needs you. Peace to you on the next chapter of the journey!

[(JD)]

Thanks ((((Grace))))) for letting us know where you are on your journey. Remember we are here for you... and I wish you to come back more often and post! No, it isn't the end of the world, ending anything is always tough... but you tried. It doesn't sound like anyone else did!

Lots of ppl do well on their third marraige... but maybe you won't need that, as you are obviously stronger than you were... I wish you well.

[Kayleigh]

Divorce is never fun, but once it's all said and done a huge weight will be lifted. My mom was in a very similar situation, she is still in the process of getting the divorce finalized, but she is much much happier just living on her own, away from the dysfunctional family she married into. Be strong.

[gracetoo71]

i thank you all for your support. six more days till moving day, and i already feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

the twins are looking forward to the move and out from their step brother. after having many talks with them about this situation, i feel i have made the best choice.
they don't want to live here anymore, they don't like their step dad, and have no respect for him or his son because of the things that he gets away with.

but like everyone else does at some point in their life, i just wish i would have never gotten into this situation. i have told the twins that i am sorry for dragging them with me into this mess, but am making it up to them now by seeing things for how they are and am changing it so we can get our lives back together and be happy again.

i am greatful that this is not a bitter or angry break up. he realizes that our relationship will not work because of our parenting differences. the transition is much easier when there isn't anger involved. he is a great husband, but just a horrible parent that believes a child can raise himself, and getting into trouble at school and home is just part of growing up. no reason to disapline them, because they don't learn anything from it anyway. three years of this is enough.

every morning i wake is another day closer to the day i can get my life back with the twins and be happy.

thank you all again for your support. it means alot. i wish you all the best in all you do. you are all such wonderful people. take care.

[_Fly]

Dear Grace -- Be strong. There was no way you could have predicted this, so don't blame yourself for making a wrong choice or "dragging" your girls into this. As you point out -- he is a good husband. So why wouldn't you have assumed that he also would be a good dad?

I admire you so much for taking this difficult step.

((((((((((((((((Grace & Girls & All Involved)))))))))))))))0

[allautumn]

I admire your strength, Grace. It's never too late to quit, I've always heard. It's awesome that you have chosen sanity and safety. Keep posting!