Stress in colege

College can be very stressful especially when you run out of money but if you look at it as a chance to start off with your own life its not so bad. It' slike a fresh new strat.

Thats very true. Thanks ejw! Hope you have a great fresh start! Welcome to the forum.

yes, i know how college can be stressful. i am in college, also working full time and a single mother.... no family to assist me financially. but, i manage. good thing about college though is, if it gets overwhelming or too much for me to handle, i can always put it on hold and come back to it later. college will always be there waiting.

good luck in your college goals. P.S. what are you studying? and what's your major?

College can be very difficult when money isnt there. I can assure you that just b/c money has run out doesnt mean your dreams do. I am living proof of that. My family never really had any money, lived paycheck to paycheck, which by the way I truly am thankful for b/c I am so appreciative of what I have. I was the 3rd child and the second to go to college. There was no money saved for college, and I knew that. It was always the understanding that if I wanted to go to college, then I would have to work hard, get scholarships, etc. Well, the time came, I got scholarships and many loans and ended up going to a private university. When I was a freshman, I worked 3 jobs, had a full class schedule and played softball. It was hell, yet it was so rewarding, my day was scheduled down to the minute and I always found time for a nap during the day. It was hard, but worth it. The next 3 yrs were no different, but I made it and have learned so much. I think we learn more about ourselves when we are pushed to the limit, that limit being scared whether you'll be able to pay rent, or have gas to go to class or eat, but you find a way, always. It makes you better person.

Now I mentioned that just b/c you dont have money doesnt mean you cant live your dreams. I am living proof. I am currently in law school, my dream as a little girl. Do I have money, no, but does that matter? NO. It is stressful going there, and add on a marriage and pending divorce and it looks to near impossible. But I thank G*d everyday that I was given this life, this opportunity. I may not be at the top of the class, but damn, I am here with countless other people while so many others wish for this opportunity. I am living my dream and I know that I must put in the hardwork in life to enjoy the rewards that will come my way one day, and they will. So throughout the stresses of life, you may encounter people that have no responsibilities, mommy and daddy are paying and you wonder what that's like, you wonder and wish you had it that easy. And then you realize one day that they dont have it easy b/c they have alot to learn about life and themselves and you have already begun that stage. You end up spending less time finding yourself and more time enjoying life and taking responsibility for decisions instead of blaming others.

It's tough, college can be stressful, but in the end, its rewarding and enjoy the steps throughout b/c in the end, when you get out and into the real world, its those experiences that you remember and make you smile and feel rewarded.

Thanks for sharing EsthersVirtue and Heartbroken. And welcome EJW.

Then why I don't I feel the reward of attending college? I think it's nothing more than lonely. I don't know what I want my major to be... college is a lot like my life in general... I am lost, lonely, wandering, and whining, lol. (sry I'm such a whiner)

*hugs* I'm in college...

kayleigh,
Dont be alarmed that you don't know what you want your major to be. It's a decision that will come in time. I can say that I picked my major, criminal justice, in undergrad b/c it sounded interesting. I wasn't sure that is what I wanted to do although I knew as a little girl that I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, good at arguing, etc. But I can tell you I was lost in college the first couple years, unsure of what I wanted out of it. But know that just b/c you major in something doesnt mean you have to actually use in life. If I learned one thing from college it was that you go through 4 years making friends that last a lifetime and maybe you find your true love, but most of all, you end 4 yrs w/ a piece of paper that says you have a bachelor's degree. College gets your foot in the door to a career or the particular job you choose. But your job trains you, etc. It is okay to be lost right now, even lonely. But know that when those 4 years are up and you look back, as I have being 2 years out, you realize the life lessons you learned. Whether it was helping a friend you just met who was too drunk to hold her own hair back while puking, you hold it back w/ the faith she'd do the same. Or its meeting a bunch of friends that you end up hanging out with and drinking and playing cards and just sitting, feeling at peace.

My point, whether you know what you want or not, relax, you are just beginnning your life as an adult and making your own decisions. Life is tough, decisions are tough. Dont be ashamed or afraid to go after what you enjoy to do, be that cooking or math or whatever but know that yes college requires you to take certain classes that absolutely suck, but hey we all have to go through them but find something you enjoy and run with it. Try new things, it's your time to experiment and find you and find out what you like.

Lastly, I dont think you are a whiner. I think that you are at a place where you dont know exactly what you want and the future which is unknown seems scary. But know that you'll find your place, maybe when you least expect it. Cherish the moments you have while in college, its more than just an educational experience.....you learn about life and on your own.

Good luck with it all, dont be scared, we all go through a lost period in our lives. It's normal....

To answer your question....Why dont I feel the reward? All I can say is you will one day, when you look back and look inside yourself and realize all that you learned and what you didnt know you learned.

Enjoy college, dont wish for adulthood or a job or career, if I can give you an advice. I just wish someone would have told me that back then....I was in too much of a hurry to grow up, I had to grow up and now I look back and wish I would have spent more time with my best friend who I met the first time I came on campus. I learned alot about myself and sometimes wish I could have changed things, been less b*^%$y, less whatever but I realize I am the way I am today b/c of that and I dont want that to change.

Heartbroken

What a wonderful description of the rewards of college. Brava for sharing that, Heartbroken.

I have some other comments. Once upon a time -- a very, very long time ago -- college was not driven by a business model: train people to get jobs.

College was about so much that Heartbroken describes -- making friends, negotiating the responsibilities of adulthood, and turning out educated citizens to debate the social, political, and philosophical issues of the day. The goal was to turn out good citizens who could pilot democracy, run religious and social institutions. It was not even necessary for people in (gasp) business to have a college education.

There is also merit in taking off a few years to explore the world and find out what you want to do. I had a career as newspaper journalist for 22 years between my first 2 years of college and completing the last 2 years of my BA. Probably harder today to forge an interesting career without a sheepskin, but still possible.

Of the "returning students" I met in undergrad and grad school, those who had tasted the work world and returned appreciated their education -- and had more direction.

Lastly, some students take time off to backpack and see the world, work on ships, wait tables at Caribbean resorts, tend bar at Alpine ski lodges, and in general have a high old time. It depends on your tolerance for poverty, of course.

Taking time out from your college education always entails the risk that you won't return and will be stuck in a low-paying job. But I think that the model of the student who attends college for 4 years after K-12 is falling by the wayside. Many universities, such as the one at which I taught, cater to commuter and non-traditional students.

Kayleigh, I think that being young was one of the loneliest times of my life. There was a quality to my loneliness then that is just somehow different to what it is now. It was like a pain that was eating me up.

Whether you decide to find joy in the college experience or to try something else for a while, I am sure that you will make a good decision.