[myoasis89]

I phoned my mom to tell her that I won't be able to work at the restaurant anymore and that I'll have to find another job that is less stressful and one which I like more. I had enough money for second semester I was just worried I wouldnt havelp me enough for books. We're on christmas break right now so I should have anough time to find another job. My mom was pissed because I had cried on the phone saying I was worried I wouldn't make it through this semester...which I did..She also got upset because she is worried we won't have enough finances which i udnerstand...money is really tight. I'm 19. I try my best to help my parents out...but I feel they don't appreciate anything i do. My sister lives on welfare because she screwed up her life royaly. Got pregnant too young and all this...my brother is not even tlaking to my parents. I'm the only one who really understands my parents' situation. I will have my two years done of school and then I was thinking about taking a two year course for library technician so I can support myself...to take the worry off my parents...My dad it already 65...and he's going to work until he is 70...I was going to take out a student loan because I probably won't have enough money with just a small job...My mom always says I have everything because I'm living in the city and she is stuck at home with no car...she doesn't udnerstand that during school i stay home all day studying and I don't go out and have fun or spend my money...I don't really do anything for myself...if it involves money. I don't really know what to do...My parents said I need to start planning and quit being selfish...I have started planning and no I am not selfish...the only reason I am where I am is beause I've worked hard and earned everything...I got to go to UBC because I got scholarships in highschool...I worked at the Keg because I was a good worker...I have the friends I do because We all work hard and support each toher...the only difference is is that their parents are able to support them in anything...while my parents can't. I have the bf I do...because I found him on the internet and got to know him....everything I've done I've done on my own without my parents' help...of course they have helped me with some things...like paying my rent and food...but I've earned what I want. I'm even going to therapy now...and my parents never suggested I go and niether did my other family or friends. My sister was supposed to come down with her children and visit for her birthday in december..because she wanted to be with her bf for christmas...my mom had a fit over this...so I talked to my sister saying it wasn't fair she do that to our parents because they've done so much for her kids...she got upset and told my mom...my mom got upset at me because she said...oh it's not your sister's fault and all this...I was like wow...I was trying to stand up for you...My mom was the one who complained to me in the first plae about my sister....right now...i don't plan on having kids ever...I realise how much trouble they can be

[skymonk]

I know about uncaring Moms. It doesn't sound like you're being selfish-you're doing your best to stay in school&employed. There's only so much one person can do&you're not being selfish if you're taking care of your needs in lieu of your Mom's. She's the parent, not you. I fell for the parenting the parent stuff for years at my own expense&am now really screwed up in the head. I'm on disability because I have fibromyalgia, a bad back, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder&PTSD&my Mom tells me I'm selfish&unfair in accepting help from my bf. "You should be working!" I can't, I'm sick. If I work at some lousy little part time no benefits job, I'll lose my disability benefits(Medicare)&not have enough to live on. I've already done that ever since my parents divorced-a candy bar a day doesn't keep you going-you have a nervous breakdown eventually. Your Mom's the selfish one-you're responsible for you&your parents made the decision to have you so they should have known that that includes helping you out a little bit when you're going to school. Whatever you do, don't drop out of school because your Mom is being selfish-finish for yourself-you'll never be able to support yourself without a college education. Don't do what I did & give in to your Mom's guilt trip&forget about taking care of yourself. I've had 3 nervous breakdowns from taking care of others first. It's not worth it. You're not selfish-you're trying to make yourself self reliant by getting an education&working on the side. Sounds like you're doing pretty good-just forget what your Mom says-I know it's not easy, but you HAVE TO. YOU COME FIRST.

[myoasis89]

thanks you so much for your reply. I've been feeling so guilty...and my bf said it wasn't fair to me...he told me I should go to therapy...at least someone cares about me...it's been really tough and I've had break downs in highschool before. I emailed my teacher because I thought I was going to kill myself...my bf worries about me often and he's always trying to lend me money but I feel horrible...I don't like taking his money and it's not his rsponsibility to take care of me...thank you for replying it's given me so much relief to know this...and I'm very sorry how your mother treated you...I hope things get back on the right track for you and I'll keep you in my prayers