[salukigirl]

So my current boyfriend was friends with his ex after they broke up and she used to actually be a good friend. So I met her a couple times and she, understandably, hates me and wants nothing to do with me. So there were a few times in the past 4 months where she'll just go psycho on him.... for no reason. Then he tells her to leave him alone and 2 weeks later shes apologizing and calling all the time. So finally he was like "Okay, youre being crazy and youre ruining my relationship (with me) Move on. You had your chance" and was kinda mean to her. So she left him alone. This was before thanksgiving. Well her bday is the day after thanksgiving and she called him and left him a *****y message about how he didnt call her on her bday. He never returned the call. She texted him like a week later asking for her tv back (He had been using it) and offered him a different one that she didn't want. I said absolutely not because I could tell it was just another reason for her to keep in contact with him.

That was like a week ago. And I was with him when he dropped the TV off.... he walked up to the door, set it down and left - wasn't even there a full minute. So I thought "hey, finally everything she has over him is gone!" So then last night she calls him AGAIN! Doesn't leave a message saying that its anything important or that she found out he has something else of hers. Just called.

And you know the worst part? She has a boyfriend! Whom she supposedly is head over heels for but keeps calling her ex? My boyfriend! He never calls her back or answers her calls in the first place but she still calls him. I told him about a month ago that it was either him cut off contact with her or I was gone because she just wanted him back so he cut off contact but now she wont stop harrassing us.

And Im a delivery driver and sometimes I have to deliver to where she works. Now, she has everyone in that store asking me if I did anything to their food?! Everyone there thinks I hate them because of how she talks about me. And Im just sitting back thinking "you need to get a life" because hers is being consumed by me apparently. And she doesn't even know me.

And its not like she wanted him while they were together. She told him that she was interested in another guy and he caught her at her house at like 2 a.m. with another guy he had never even heard of standing in her kitchen and she was joking with him laughing, hitting his chest (obvious flirting). So she doesnt want him while theyre together, but doesnt want anyone else to have him either?

And he ran into one of her friends and this girl says that she has gone crazy on everyone. Her former 'best friend', she got into a huge stupid fight with and now theyre not even talking. I just dont know how to handle this.

It seems like all these women have crushes on my boyfriend and I have never been in this situation before. I trust him when he says he doesnt want them and I know he cares about me. but it still bothers me that his ex just wont take a damn hint! And I don't want to go to her and say something to her because I dont want to stir up anything else but it seems like just ignoring her isn't working. UGH! Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Sorry this is so long.

[I_WMD]

Glad I didn't accidently hit the quote tab >> hehe.

Saluki ,,, I like you ,,, Your Cool .

Time to pull out the ex-girlfriend jokes .....Orrrrrrrrrrrr ,, Just You and Your BF make her the Joke of the month club Award winner >>> 4 months running >> LOL.

Anyway ,, she has her own " man " >>> That a joke >> if he knew her shananigans HE would do away with her and then she would have * 2 * exes .

The best thing I can suggest is this :
Ask your BF to tell her all the things he finds repungnant about her >> and you can only hope >> the " Truth " Hits a cord >>> and she tries harder next time >> WITH SOMEONE NEW !!!!

WMD.

[salukigirl]

he did! lol he told her the night they broke up that he could do better in looks, intelligence and everything else. he told her before we ever went out that he was going to ask me out and that we were going to go on a date and that she had to back off. hes told her that she is going to ruin our relationship and that shes a *****. hes told her that shes crazy and that she has no room to talk anything about me (she called me a slut once to him and he went off on her saying she doesnt even know me etc...) but she just doesnt get it. oh yeah, i can pretty much guarantee her bf doesnt know she still calls my bf and texts him.

[Perna]

I think ex's are a fact of life :-) My husband and I have been married almost 20 years, probably longer now than he and his ex were and she and I get along fine but she's still quirky and calls him too much.

It sounds like your boyfriend is acting fine around her and knows what's what; I'd tease the people she works with, something like, "And have to give up this wonderful job?" and just laugh as if it doesn't bother you and act confident like you know she's nuts and they know she's nuts. . .

You can't control other people. Besides, her being a pain is just pushing your boyfriend further from her! My husband doesn't like involving his ex in our lives LESS than I do! Let her hang herself with her crazy behavior. Eventually your boyfriend's non-response will get boring to her and she'll bother her current boyfriend who will be her ex by then, LOL.

[I_WMD]

Saluki .....The thing I kinda ment by repugnant>>....Is more of a >> " Hey Ol' Friend >> I think you get off on f ing in others friendships >> because you ".........____________ * fill in blank *

Not nessecarily saying the obvious ....

I clarify: >>.. Your BF knows a place that can make her go hide in a hole as to his past relationship with her >> Tell him to use it . !

I use one of my own as an example ; ...." Well >> If ya like to get drunk and meet the Navy at the shipyard >> Go for it ,, I just not going to drive you home afterward ".

WMD.

[chiz]

Hi,

I think your situation is better than mine. At least your boyfriend obviously got nothing to do with his ex-girlfriend anymore. I mean, I think there's not probability that he'd want her back. While my boyfriend is still in contact with his ex and they're "friends." As far as I know, she's the one who contacts him but the fact that my bf replies nicely to her, it scares me off. You see, even if he knows that I get jealous and hurt, he still replies to her. Oh well, we didn't got a big problem in that case so far.

Anyway, back to you. Since your boyfriend talked to her already, I guess just keep ignoring her. What she's doing is actually a bit of a desperate measure. She might just wanted attention, I don't know. As long as you and your bf is doing good, don't mind her. Because if you do, she'll like it even more and your relationship with your boyfriend might get affected as well. She'll probably get tired in the end.

God bless...

[sabby]

You know the old saying that goes something like this -

"You never know what you've got till it's gone"

Could be the ex realizes she messed up and lost a good guy. People do crazy things when they come to that realization. I think your bf is doing the right thing by ignoring and not responding. Sooner or later she will get the hint and find someone else to take up her time with. It's kind of sad to think of her this way. She probably has no clue as to how her actions and words make her look.

As far as the place where you deliver to .... Like Perna said...I would joke along with it all.....no sense in showing them that what she is saying bothers you....sounds to me like you can rise above it all and they will see what is what

I know it can drive you crazy knowing that she keeps calling. But what a good guy you have who knows how to set his boundaries and can make you feel loved. Sounds like a keeper


sabby

[salukigirl]

thanks everyone. yeah she hasnt called since. and he hasnt even spoken to her in weeks now. and it feels like, now that shes out of the picture completely, we have been awesome. even though i know he didnt want her back, i think it was still distracting. just because he knew how much we hated each other but he still wanted to be friend etc... like he couldnt focus completely on us because he always had to deal with her.

Honestly, I was terrified that, when I gave him that ultimatum kind of, he would choose her over me. and now that ive said that he needs to stop talking to her, and he actually did it, i feel so much more confident about us. which makes me less insecure about all the girls I see eyeballing him.

I think hes noticing a difference too. I think a lot of the reason he kept in contact with her before was kind of a control thing. Like he wanted to be that guy who had his outside life and his girlfriend life and neither interferred with the other. so i think once he gave up a little of his "youre not going to tell me what to do" pride he saw that she wasnt really his friend anyways. and he keeps asking me "why are you being so nice to me?" and i think thats when it sank in that if shes around, im not happy. if shes gone, im a better girlfriend.

sorry if this was rambling and long and annoying lol. havent been on in a while....

thanks again guys

[salukigirl]

UPDATE: so John went home to chicago for about a week to see friends and family. So a bunch of people wrote on his facebook how much they missed him etc... Well his stupid ex (Jacky) wrote on there "seems like ur a very missed person". And I took that as her saying she misses him. And that sent me over the edge. I called him and told him I was sick of her b.s. and that its bull that he can get upset when my ex texts me 1 time to say merry christmas but whenever she does something like saying she misses him im supposed to just take it.

i said i wasnt allowing him to make me feel like a bad person for getting upset and that any girl would get upset if their bf's ex was doing this stuff after 4 months. i said i refused to deal with it and i was sick of her. I told him I wanted her off his friends list once and for all so she can't post things specifically so his friends see them and think "oh they must still be talking". because thats all it is. she does it so that his friends will see that shes writing and think that theyre still talking.

once i said that it was b.s. that he can get mad at my ex but i cant get mad at Jacky he stopped telling me I was being irrational. This whole he has been saying "i wouldnt get mad if you guys talked" bc it had never happened so he didnt know how he would react. but then it did and he reacted the same way, if not worse, as i did.

so he deleted her so she no longer has access to his profile or mine and cant write anything on there anymore.

then he started freaking out asking me if i was mad etc... so i think it finally got through to him how much it hurt seeing her say stuff like that. now, because my ex did it, he knows what that feels like and finally got where i was coming from. so i just said that we both know were both insecure. we have both overreacted about exes being stupid and said things we didnt mean and we have both gotten upset about it. so lets just put it in the past and she is gone from our lives.

so i think that might be the end i finally stood up for myself! this whole time i thought i was irrational for being insecure about his ex saying things like that but now i realize that any woman in her right mind would be upset if her bf's ex was constantly saying that she missed him etc... and was doing things specifically to upset me. i feel much better now.

i also feel more confident about us. i was always scared that if i were to say "im not dealing with this anymore. choose, its either her or me. but one of us has to go" that he would choose her over me. and now that hes done something blatantly against her like that i feel much better. i just dont trust any girl who is going to be that much of an attention *****. i just want to knock on her door and when she opens it scream 'GET A LIFE!' lol

thanks everyone for your responses