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#1
Jan 19, 2009, 06:05 PM
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 Why? I feel so isolated and alone even though I live w/ a man who DID care about me! Now he's making me feel like it is MY FAULT that I have all this....BPD, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Anorexia ! Like Dr. Phil said the other night to a woman who felt terribly guilty because she has cancer: "How DARE you get cancer!!".......That's the way I feel........like if I just TRIED hard enough it would all go away. He keeps me on pins and needles with threats that he will move out if I don't "straighten up" so to speak.......and I can not afford to live alone. I'm already on SSI and I have a part time job that has been hassling me over my Dyslexia......a whole other thread! They have been scheduling me like for FOUR to FIVE hours per week ! RATS! TG I'm an anorectic vegan 'cus I'm broke!.....Oy vey.....I just know there's a "reason" for what occurs in my life; now I must deal with it. Shalom, Hannah in FloridaP.S. I am also "Mensa" which really makes it hard....if only I were stoopid.....life is like a box of chocolates; and mine just melted ! |
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#2
Jan 20, 2009, 06:17 AM
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hannah
 you feel isolated for one because the bf is not being supportive. that's on him, not you! you can't be responsible for those conditions meaning how you got them. my reply to him would be "thank your lucky stars you didn't get some of these conditions to live with yourself!!!" jme, but i don't know if his attitude isn't so self centered that he doesn't even get it! i'd give him the "ole' heave ho" if he doesn't start helping you instead of beating you down. that's emotional abuse. no one has the right to do that to another humman being, imho.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Jan 20, 2009, 06:26 AM
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Been there babe, madisgram is right. If he can't see the beauty in the chaos then he ain't right for you. Doesn't solve your housing situation though. Not sure about that one.
He should love your mensa self and stop going on about it being your fault. Maybe you could kindly point out that by being with him, he contributes to your wellbeing and consider himself lucky that he does not suffer the same terrors as you. It takes two to tango. I hope you get it sorted for your sake. You are far too precious to put up with crap and you should be loved for ALL your stuff......not just the predictable, reliable stuff.
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For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/  The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
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