can anyone help or advise me

I'm 33, English and live in London. I'm struggling with a dilemma. I have a girlfriend, Chrissy who is wonderful, but our relationship doesn't feel like it is enough for me. We've been together for about 2.5 years, lived together for about 1.5 years, and the problem is as follows. I've consistently suffered from panic and anxiety attacks for about 7 years or so. I've been on medication for a year, and had therapy too. I can't help thinking that I don't love her enough to stay, and it causes me stress, depression and anxiety. We seem to have a normal relationship, sex is fine, although I could take it or leave it. She is a wonderful, supportive, intelligent, person that loves me dearly. The problem is, that I cannot determine if I'm being selfish, by wanting a more compatible passionate relationship with someone I am more attracted to; or have I made a reasonable choice in being with Chrissy, and experiencing the normal dynamics of a long term relationship.

Before I met Chrissy, I lived with my parents, which is unusual for someone of my age. I had a rocky early career, and wasn't financially stable, and I'm still not so. In a way, I saw my impending relationship with Chrissy as a way out from that, since she is very financially independent. This is a concern for me too. I wonder if I opted to be with her to escape from my earlier life - although at the time I was confident that I was doing it for the right reasons.

The medication I have been taking was supposed to decrease the intensity of the feelings which caused me stress and depression. They worked; but my doctor recently stopped prescribing them, and all those familiar scary feelings have returned.

Is there anyone that can help me?

test

hi and welcome. it's hard sometimes in a long term relationship...we fall into "ruts". we feel like we're not getting the wonderful things out of the relationship that we got in the beginning and miss it. only the ppl in the relationship can bring its luster back.

i think the p'doc taking you off of all your meds has increased your anxiety, depression and general discomfort.

one time when i left my husband, my friend said something very smart to me (we're together and married 18 yrs now) she said, "if you put 1/10 the energy into this relationship as what it would take to build a new one...this one would be fine." it made alot of sense to me. however, putting into a relationship is a two way street and my husband worked on it as well.

i hope you can find happiness again. i wouldn't make any life changing moves just going off of meds and with your anxiety/depression being worse. sometimes we don't make the right decisions in those states.

wait until you're feeling better and analyze the situation more. that's what i would be inclined to do.

gl and let us know?

thanks for your reply kimmy. I think I understand. It's easier to leave instead of stay bassically. I do worry though about the depression and anxiety caused by it though. Do I go back on my meds for a while or try to tough it out?

you had the depression/anxiety before the relationship, right? that's what would make me second guess that the relationship is actually causing it now. does that make any sense?

depression lies to us and we're desperate to try to feel better and sometimes can do desperate things. if you did better on your meds then yes, i would go back on. why did you go off of them?

i would wait until i wasn't so depressed and anxious before making life altering decisions such as ending a long term relationship. if when feeling better, you're able to analyze the relationship and it's still not what you feel you need for your life right now, then consider moving on or trying to change the relationship.

i wish you well.

sounds like a plan. I call my doc. thank you very much indeed. you're a gem.

good luck! let us know how it's going ok?

Kimmy, yer good.

((((((((((((((((((((( 8 )))))))))))))))))))) you're better

hi and welcome jon, I hope someone is able to help... wished I could but I am young in matters of the heart!