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#1
Mar 12, 2009, 04:36 PM
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 i really cant stand my older brother he is such an asshole and when he starts being one i tell him off and he gets mad and starts punching me over and over well i always throw something at him because i can hurt him worse that way instead of punching him. well my dad started yelling at me for throwing something at the mother ****er! my dad is really starting to bug me! but joe gets me so mad i swear if i could i would kill him thats how much i hate him! he never gets in trouble i always do im so sick of the **** so i told my mom and all she said was ill handle it when i get home and thats ******** because all she will do when she gets home is her ****ing homework shes getting a higher degree! the only people that never make me mad everyday is my oldest bro and his wife but they dont do **** they never clean up and my mom will fuss and then they usually make me clean! im really sick of it!!! all of it! what should i do should i move out??? im so sick of being pissed off everyday!
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~*~ThE dAy YoU gIvE uP Is ThE dAy YoU sToP lIvInG~*~ |
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#2
Mar 12, 2009, 05:03 PM
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__________________
~*~ThE dAy YoU gIvE uP Is ThE dAy YoU sToP lIvInG~*~ |
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#3
Mar 14, 2009, 10:12 AM
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well first off, how old are you and your brother?
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#4
Mar 14, 2009, 07:10 PM
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im 18 and he is 20
__________________
~*~ThE dAy YoU gIvE uP Is ThE dAy YoU sToP lIvInG~*~ |
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#5
Mar 14, 2009, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
think about this as a challenge in your life and try to work it out....you will grow stronger then....I know it's easy to say....but that's true.... try to breath deeply when your brother is getting to your nerve and stop talking to him....try to think about something else rather than getting into fight with him.... trust me I had this kind of situation when I was a teenager with my older sister....we weren't getting along at all...we were always fighting...it was bad...even now that we are older we do that too....we are not living in the same country...she's living in Europe and I'm in America, but still when we talk on the phone even we get into trouble.....hehehe...that's funny....but I still love her so much....she's my blood and I want all the good things for her and her family  try to cover all the hate with love....you can do it....because lots of other people did it.... you got to learn that in future you will have other people in your life who can piss you off, they can be so unreasonable....trust me....you will get into the job and you will do all your best, then somebody over there would get all the credit and piss you off and your managers will back him up.....so take this opportunity here at your parents home to learn how to deal with your anger and the situation.....try to be cool....and don't complain....stay away from him.... and that's bad if you say you want to kill him....I'm sure you won't do such a thing.... god bless you Marjan |
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#6
Mar 15, 2009, 01:39 AM
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Are you still in high school? If you aren't, then you should move out. If you are, then just try to steer clear of your brother/house until you graduate, then move out.
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#7
Mar 15, 2009, 03:20 AM
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move out if you can afford it, and if you think you are mature and independent enough to be able to handle it. i am 24 and i think i would suck at trying to cope living by myself, so please dont take offense if you think i'm being ageist or something.
if you aren't in a position to move out - stop calling your brother out on being an asshole. that is just being provocative. just get up and leave the room he is in. put a lock on your door and then you will have your own safe space. |
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#8
Mar 15, 2009, 03:33 AM
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hear, hear!! I say get out if you can........even if you can go somewhere for a little while to get some breathing space....
It sounds horrific and at a point where neither of you is making sense........very abusive......very negative and damaging. Save your relationship and save yourself.........your safety, both physically and mentally is your priority........maybe a good T to talk to in the future would help...... Be kind to yourself and your brother so you live with no regrets........concentrate on YOU........and then try again. Good luck, sweetie.......I feel for you...... 
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For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/  The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
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#9
Mar 15, 2009, 06:57 AM
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hi jen and wlecome to pc. i'm glad you found us and are talking about your situation. that is first step to getting help. it sounds like you and your brother may antagonize each other! one way for you to gain some peace is to not respond to his behavior. easier said than done. but as long as you "reward" him by reacting to his behavior then he will continue to do it. if you can walk away, not verbally respond or physically, take a walk, ignore his comments you will find that perhaps he will give it up. it sounds like emotionally this is a highly charged situation. since no one sounds like they are intervening you can take the upper hand by acting mature and plain ignore him. this will more likely baffle him because up to now you have responded to his driving you nuts. at age 18 and 20 this behavior is a little outdated...by that i mean at those ages most ppl don't engage in this behavior.
you mentioned perhaps moving out and getting your own place. this is also an option but it takes a lot of money to do that. are you actively employed working full time? jen you will find throughout your life there are ppl that want to push your buttons. by learning how to deal with this behavior from your brother it will help you know how to deal with others who exhibit the same behavior in the "real" world. i wish you the best and hope my suggestions may help you. i know it won't be easy whether you stay at your house or get an apt. decide what you want to do then "plan your work and then work your plan." hope you'll keep us posted on how you're doing.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#10
Mar 15, 2009, 07:32 PM
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Hi Jen,
Haters don't win... not in the long run, so ditch the hate and turn it over to the other side... where you can care about your brother and realize he is an equal. When we call others out, call them names, etc., all we really are doing is objectifying them, in order to make it easier on oneself to mistreat them. He probably isn't really your enemy at all, so if you stop and think about it, he is in the same shoes you are, and you both could or would make good allies. Down the road, you will feel love for your brother. It's hard to imagine the future, and circumstances that will befall, and the consequences of actions when people are in their youth, (not impossible, but for many, hard or near impossible).. but if something awful happened, you would feel sorrow and pain. Why add to the list of things you may regret later, if you hurt him by throwing things at him... That is dangerous... Someone used to do that to me, and I promise you, the hurt I felt inside was just as bad, if not worse, than what my body part might have felt. Life is too short to be 'hating' on people, especially those of our own blood. Go to family counseling, if possible, and take your Mother too... as she needs to open her eyes that you Guys have needs, and are fighting each other so much, and you want to hurt your brother, who by your age, could be respecting, so something is amiss... I feel. It's not good to harm others, because truly, we are also harming ourselves when we do such a thing. What we do to others has an affect on us!!! Lose the hate, replace it with looking for the good in this young man, and in yourself, and in your family, and in others, and I promise you, while you look for the good, more good will appear because the blinders you have on that don't allow you to see there are good feelings for you from others in this world, will crumble off to the ground, and you will see that the world where people are caring, loving and kinder to each other is so much better. Trust me, girls will be important in your life someday very soon. Do you want someone who understands how to love and care about you, or one who understands violence as a way to get attention... both types are out there. I ask only because you seem to be unhappy underneath it all... If I am wrong in your eyes, just ignore the post and go on, move out, move along, whatever you want to do, and don't think about what I've written. I felt compelled to write this to you. Been on the other side of physical abuse... and it's all abuse, whether we are throwing things or using our hands to hurt someone. Peace and Hope to you in finding a better path.... Nightbird |
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