End of relationship advice needed, please

Hi all. About 2 months ago, my significant other of 3 years announced to me that he has decided he is polyamorous (short version explanation--he is in to having multiple partners). He said that he had tried repeatedly to have monogamous relationships but always failed miserably. He had already met a lady on line (apparently they had been talking for a long time) who is into the same thing, met her in person one weekend, spent the weekend with her, and they fell madly in love, she is the greatest love of his life, and she is going to move to our area in a few months, and he is thinking they will probably live together. She already has other partners and he is looking for more currently. Needless to say, I am crushed beyond belief. I don't want to go anywhere, don't want to meet anyone, could care less about anything except trying to figure out when he stopped loving me or if he ever did. I know therapy is an option, I know medication is an option. But I don't feel that is necessary at this point. I'd like to be able to get past this thing on my own and feel like I've accomplished something huge. I mean, I am 48 years old, I should be able to get over this without major assistance. Everyone says "he was a creep, forget him." I'm trying, but it's just not that easy to get over someone you thought would be in your life forever. How could he move on like that? I don't know what I want from you all. Maybe just to vent. Thanks for listening.

Nice to meet you too. Just wanted to say that it happened to me some years back, too. This man announced to me that he was in love with this one and this one. In fact it happened twice to me. Yes, it is utterly devastating and not easy to shake off like some tell you to. It paralyzed me for quite awhile. I fear getting into another relationship with a man and it is years later yet. Your feelings are valid and I always try to remember that. There are so many people who tell us "forget it," or "he's not worth it." But to really forget it is so very hard, I know. I'm sorry that he did that to you. I hope you find someone who will be good to you in the future. I hope I do too come to think of it....

<font color=orange>Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.</font color=orange>

Don't make any drastic lifestyle changes until this blows over. I know you don't feel lik going out and meeting people but sometimes you have to do what you don't feel like doing.

Hi Happee2meetcha:

I know exactly how you feel. I have been there myself. Men or (people) who usually practice that kind of behavior never change. It took me a lot of years to realize that I was wasting my time thinking that one day he was going to change. I was wrong. These individuals get a high when they have multiple relationships at one time. They also love the exitement in knowing that there is always someone "there" for them all the time. He will come back to you and promise he will be faithful to you. Its a trap! Don't fall for it. He is incapable of being faithful. You are 48 years old and that is still considered young. Go on with your life and consider yourself lucky, you got his game right on time. Just take it a day at a time. The less you hear from him, the better and stronger you will get. I also agree with you, before you see a therapist or take medication, give yourself some time and see whether you can handle the situation on your own. Good luck to you!

Dulce

Yep, he was a creep, and he can use some therapy himselp. but that is none of my business. There would be nothing wrong if you sought counselling for a "teeny" while to help you a little to help get you on your way, it is "no sin", "no weakness", my friend Hey it is okay to come here and vent anytime you want, if it helps then that is healthy If he happens to come around trying to make "nice" tell him to "beat it" you do not need a guy like this, take time for awhile and when the right time comes you'll meet a guy worthy of you dear. For now do not even lower yourself to a creep like this. Live and be happy . . .
"darkeyes"

2 people wanting different dosent make anyone a creep or even wrong if he would have lied to you oh yes would be a creep it sounds like he didnt life is short and there are so many things that make people unhappy already if one can change any they should

Sorry, this is my opinion, when someone betrays another's trust, they are in fact a "creep". If he or she informs you first of their personal likes or dislikes then it is already out in the open, honesty. But I guess we all have different values and that is okay too. But personally, I've been betrayed and I know it hurts, and betrayal IS wrong !! It hurts, and can even kill.