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#1
Sep 03, 2013, 09:01 PM
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So I decided I would finally tell my T about my feelings and it sucked!!! But, much to my surprise, he said he feels the same way about me and he doesn't think it can ever "go away" and that we just have to learn to "ignore it". What in the frick am I supposed to do with that? Then when it was time to leave, he gave me a hug and I did not want to leave. STUPID. So frustrated. It's 10 million times worse now than what it was. Now what do I do?
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 allme, anilam, Favorite Jeans, WhiteClouds
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#2
Sep 04, 2013, 05:47 AM
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There is nothing to do. I told my t many years ago, and have found a way to live with it. He also has feelings for me. Yes, it sucks.
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 joj14
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#3
Sep 04, 2013, 07:47 AM
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If you find it unbearable, I see no other solution than terminating with him and starting over with a new T. It's going to be tough though.
Eitherway, it sucks, I know... 
__________________
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| joj14
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#4
Sep 04, 2013, 07:49 AM
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I do not understand how a therapist can disclose having 'feelings' for a client. Even if they don't act on those feelings, it seems like it would cloud the therapy. Especially a client who is experiencing transference for the therapist.
I thought Code of Ethics etc. doesn't allow for sharing intimate feelings. I'm sure a therapist can say to a client "I like you" as in a general way. But, to say he has feelings and possibly romantic feelings seems like it's going against what I thought therapists weren't supposed to do. This is coming from a girl knee deep in transference. Maybe I want my therapist to acknowledge he has 'feelings' for me. I don't see that happening, he seems to keep to his boundaries very tightly. |
| anilam, joj14, sweepy62
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#5
Sep 04, 2013, 07:53 AM
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 Yep, he failed you as your T- please, consider finding another T.
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| joj14
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#6
Sep 04, 2013, 08:35 AM
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I am going through the same transference, instead of knee deep, waist deep lol, my group male t, has told me "he likes me too" but as in a general sense, not that he shares my romantic feelings, he would never share that with me even if he did, his boundaries are tight, and it would cloud the therapeutic relationship even though its still group therapy, as for me I am not in that group anymore, I am going to start working through that transference starting tomorrow with my individual female t, and it hurts and it sucks, so hang in there, sending you hugs.
__________________
Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
| joj14
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#7
Sep 04, 2013, 08:53 AM
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Quote:
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
| joj14, sweepy62
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#8
Sep 04, 2013, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
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#9
Sep 04, 2013, 05:49 PM
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Personally, I would have preferred not to be told-though at that point I already know. It would have spared years of anguish-for both. Good luck.
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#10
Sep 07, 2013, 01:56 AM
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Ignore it!? Is this T delusional? This must be awful for you. He either needs a LOT of supervision or you need to find another T because ignoring this is going to do no good.
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| chumchum, FeelTheBurn, SallyBrown
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#11
Sep 07, 2013, 10:35 AM
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No no no no noooooo! This T is a jerk and needs locking up. Hope you can see that through the transference. I went through HELL around 3 years ago with my JERK of an ex t admitted feelings back to me, kissed and hugged and had a huge emotional affair. PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSE listen to me, this will end in PAIN oh so much PAIN. You have no idea what you are letting yourself in for. PLEASE do not go near him again and report his ars*.
OMG how triggering, I should not have come here and wasn't planning on replying to anyone but I started just like you and maybe some can remember my torment but I don't want you to go through the same hell I did. Stay away, find a new t, ditch this jerk!
__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
| anilam, chumchum, SallyBrown, unaluna
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| Favorite Jeans, Hopelesspoppy
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#12
Sep 08, 2013, 12:03 AM
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It has to be addressed, not ignored. Perhaps you may want to find a new T.
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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