Erotic Transference

Thank you! Why r We always missing something from childhood? Sometimes feelings are just that.I totally agree with u

I discovered my Ts experience was 'worse' than mine. I was glad he was honest about it because apparently the etiquette is not to disclose that but luckily he trusted me enough to put his cards on the table too. I'd of felt like a freak if he'd of denied what I was seeing with my own eyes. It's often a two way street and it's a shame there's so much kept under the carpet. It's a subject that deserves far more transparency and investigation. I'm also convinced that the boundary rules we use to protect therapists and clients are entirely insufficient if not inappropriate tools for dealing with the issue. Look at this forum the discussion of psychotherapy is almost entirely taken up by all sorts of problems with the therapist rather than psychotherapy itself. That speaks volumes in itself.

You think it would be better if therapists kissed 70% of their clients just because they want it and then everything would be okay?
I think man can be attracted to more than one woman at the same time.

Of course not 70% just ME! Ha you know that was a joke. I really mean that the current system clearly isn't working it's very faulted. Touch confuses the client, lack of touch hurts their feeling, too much disclosure, not enough disclosure. I'm saying that somehow it's fundamentally wrong and causes far too much emotional stress on the client at least and it needs a whole new rethinking to bring it up to a more effective standard. I don't know what that might be but I'm sure there will be breakthroughs once the issue gets the full recognition it deserves.

Ha it would be cool if we were the only ones for our therapists
I know psychiatrist who slept with many his clients and he is still practising, he is my therapist's collegue.
I'm happy that my therapist isn't like him. It sounds crazy but I'm happy that my therapist even doesn't hug his clients because I would be horribly jealous if he hugged other clients too.

I'm in a very similar situation and I too do not believe transference is a one size fits all problem. Perhaps for some it stems from issues in childhood, but for me it stems from nothing more than loneliness. My T is an attractive, friendly, blonde 30 something woman who's filled a void in my otherwise lonely, depressing existence. It's only natural for a lonely person to want to be held without it having anything to do with anything other than the natural human need to be held. I wasn't expecting to have romantic feelings towards my T, in fact I was dreading going to therapy altogether. But it's been a pleasant surprise, and while the erotic feelings towards her have been an unexpected side effect, they're not an unwelcome one. I'm intensely attracted to her in every way. I call her number sometimes just to listen to her voicemail. I think about her, I dream about her, I've even told her about it to a degree. She let me know that she can't have romantic relationships with clients.

To me, if you're sitting across from someone who gives you their undivided attention while offering advice and compassion instead of ridicule and rejection as you share your deepest fears and shames, how could you not fall a little in love with that person? Especially if on top of all that you find them breathtakingly beautiful. That's a pretty powerful combination.