You know you have erotic transference when..

I once suggested he could put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, but he refused.

Me & my therapist have no physical contact at all, at the moment. He has hugged me twice that I remember in 10 years. Not too long ago the topic came up briefly and he said, "You have regressed from where you were a year ago. I even hugged you once or twice. I couldn't do that now. It would be too damaging to you."

I say this because I think some of our therapists don't hug because they know that it would be damaging to some of us. Especially those with transference issues. It's not that my T doesn't care about me, it's because he does.

I think it's a case of wanting to explore why you want XYZ without just satisfying the need straight away. I'm fairly sure if we hit a raw nerve, I (FINALLY) burst into tears and he thought it an appropriate human response THEN he would hug me.

You want no such thing! Think about why this person should have so much power over your thoughts. It is not right! I know exactly how you feel, but there will be a time when you feel differently, so don't let yourself feel so abandoned now.

I would prefer a T to spell that out.

I am sorry I hope it is just a moment of weakness and not actual desire to die

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I feel very heartbroken. And I don't get why because last session went well. He even laughed a few times. Then. Had to havevrhatvstupid dream about him. Sorry I'm talking in the wrong place.

When you're having a nice dream about someone else and he pops up in your arms

You wonder if he thinks about you between sessions. And what he thinks about...

When a random thought of her stroking your hair pops into your head and you start shivering and crying out of nowhere.

When he keeps popping up in your dreams when you're dreaming about other stuff. Argh!!

He smiled and his eyes actually sparkled! Sparkled!! Does that even happen outside of cartoons?

How sweet to get a sparkling smile

When just a split second of her own sympathetic emotion melts me inside. A simple face palm can be beautiful too.

YKYHET when you've had to struggle through a difficult session. And part of your mind still says "looking niiiiiiice in that shirt!"

Oh yes! Corduroy is so tactile, it's basically ribbed velvet... imagine that against a naked thigh! Mine has the loveliest pair, it's all I can do to contain my excitement when he wears them.

Sooooooo true!!! I felt exactly the same yesterday. T is looking worried and asking me if I have concrete plans to kill myself and somewhere at the back of my mind, I am thinking how beautiful he looks, that he's got a haircut, whether he fancies me etc. Probably the furthest thing from his mind at that moment.

You think about leaving a message on his voicemail yelling his name as you orgasm.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Well, that's one way to come out about ET I suppose. Sooner you than me in the next session though!
Thanks, I really needed that laugh this afternoon

Haha, I am out (and proud). But I do feel the need to talk to him about it more and he has seemed a bit reluctant.

That's too funny FFF! I guess that could be a way to open up conversation...

I kinda feel like I need to talk to my MC more about the ET part, but I feel reluctant to ask for another individual session. He just keeps hanging out in my head.

And, OK, to keep with the lighter tone of this thread:

You know you have ET when your T burps during session, and you think, aw, that was a kinda cute burp. (And then are like, wait, what?)

Ewwwk . So what's so funny about what I said - are you guys laughing the idea of doing that, or T's look of horror/embarrassment when he hears that voicemail? I have to say, I was entirely serious.

I don't envy that situation. My guess is if it weren't for the thought of sparing your H's feelings, you'd see him.