You know you have erotic transference when..

Both actually. And the Incredibly Awkward follow-up session...

Yep, that's what I was thinking, too!

Yeah, it's definitely complicated. There's also the fact that my T is in the same practice, so if I saw MC more than just a few times (on a more regular basis), then it would be duplication of services (she said). And I know MC is trying to be careful of boundaries, both to not step on my therapy with T and, well, my H. He said after our last individual session (we met twice) that his door was open, and to let him know if I wanted to see him separately again.

But since H and I are having issues lately (some of which stem from the transference, some other stuff), I'd feel weirder about it, I think. Though when the topic comes up in our joint sessions, I wish I could just poof out of the room, because damn, that's awkward. Instead I just stare at a random spot on the floor....

why not?

Even when he sits close enough for you to see his nose hair and smell his breath (not bad thankfully), you still have to mentally restrain yourself from holding his hand or stroking his freshly shaven face. Even while you still freak a little because you don't trust guys and think they're out to hurt you.

I am quilty of needing to talk to T because I can't cope so I make another appointment in between my weekly sessions just so I can see him and talk to him. T is sympathetic and sweet. Makes me melt every time!!

When you're thinking about him every second of every day!

You miss him tonight, and wonder where he is and hope he's happy.

you feel like he has been there for you, and you want to be there for him in every way possible.

You're happy because he shook your hand not just at the end of the session, like usual, but also at the beginning. (Though you'd give anything for a hug.)

You can't get that hug out of you mind... or the precise moment that you let go and T actually didn't.

you can stare at his profile picture for long times and fantasize about him taking your virginity

mmmm...yes, I just wasted an hour at work staring at his picture after reading this.

I've wasted so much time looking at his picture on the Internet :-/

I wish he would touch me or text me or email me! After over a year you would think he might offer some warmth! I must really suck!!!!

Or... He's really good at his job and knows how to keep good boundaries. I want mine to touch me or hug me but it will only hurt me mentally. Some people who don't have the issues I have can be touched, but not me. He says when I am well he can hug me.

I feel just like you!!

Early on, I told my T that I do this. He seemed mildly surprised and said - a picture? of me? I think he was wondering where I got a picture from. Maybe he is not a very capable internet stalker like me

My T keeps it very cordial and professional. I realized he will never hug or touch me no matter how deep our talks get. It saddens me. He is my expensive 'friend'. I actually think he will come over my place and hangout!

I don't think I could even call my t cordial. He is a bit stiff. I wonder sometimes if maybe that's how he is in real life. Except I think not because I've seen pics of him with a big smile. By nature I am a joker....but I have never suceeded to get a real smile or laugh out of him. It makes me sad.

My T has a great smile. I like to joke, too, and feel tingling inside when he smiles or giggles. 😊

That is kinda sad.

Mine has a photo on the practice's website, but it's really horrible. So I think it would actually act as anti-transference if I were to look at it too much!

I wish it were not too invasive or freaky to share pics of our therapists. I have a few pics of mine. Only one really good one. He is adorable and hugging his youngest daughter. I love the way he loves them. Seems equally too.