You know you have erotic transference when..

Anytime you see someone who looks a bit like him you feel a pang of pain and remember that you are not part of his life.

Anytime you see someone who looks a bit like him you feel a pang of pain and remember that you are not part of his life.

God yes! in spades!

you save the notes he gave you. There's nothing special on it, just the date of the next appointment and something about your medication. But it's his handwriting. It isn't even beautiful, but it's his.

Lol! I kept a note he wrote and admired his penmanship. I envisioned him as a little boy sticking out tongue as he wrote because his cursive was a bit elementary. It makes me giggle because it's so not him. He's too neat and perfect.

My T gave me a card at my first appointment but I didn't save that one. Then my appointment was always at the same time, so he didn't give me any cards. Recently I changed the time for one of my appointments and I was so happy to say yes when he asked if I'd like a card, even though I didn't need it as a reminder. I love looking at his writing, just like you, because its his. Even though it got a bit smudged because the ink was wet.

So I'm not the only one.
Pdoc ask me everytime if I want him to write the date of our next appointment on a note. I say yes every time, even though I can remember it and I put it in my agenda once I left his office.
He doesn't write very neat. It looks like he tries to write it neat so I'm able to read it.

All I have are his signatures on my scripts. He knows I'd want something else so it won't happen. Besides, I'm trying to quit my behavior but I know what y'all are talking about.

Chummy, you are definitely not the only one. T never writes anything down for me. I've had to resort to looking up my bank account online to see a cancelled cheque I wrote, to see his signature on the reverse. I even printed off a copy of it! and many many years ago when I was seeing T for the first time, I kept a voicemail of his on my phone for MONTHS so I could hear his voice saying (over and over again) "February 11 at 9 am is okay" !!!!!!

LOL at listening to "February 11 at 9 am is okay" over and over again!

Yeah, I still have one of his voicemails on my phone that was kind of a longer one. Even though it ultimately led to a sort of painful phone conversation between us, I still keep it on there, in case I want to hear his (not at all sexy, but very comforting) voice. And I still have an appointment card with his barely legible handwriting back from when he still gave us appointment cards (we have a standing appointment now and also just enter them in our phones if we have to change).

When you read a book on optimal sex positions for a woman to have an orgasm, you imagine your T doing it to you, and your insides turn to liquid *red face*

Can anyone explain to me what's happening? I use to enjoy watching and listening to my T. I thought about him a lot and couldn't wait for my next session. Now, I feel done with therapy. I don't want to go & almost upset/angry at my T. I know he will try to persuade me to come to my sessions but this pisses me off even more. I feel like I want to regain my control of my life and he is holding me back. But sometimes I think of him and how helpful he's been and he doesn't deserve that. But I can't help it. I think my mystery love has vanished and we are moving on to a new relationship...I don't know if I like it.
I can't help but wonder what he really thinks of me...does he like me or is it upset at me. I want to know his feelings,too.

Maybe you're outgrowing him or you're dealing with negative feelings towards someone else and projecting them onto him?

Yeah! I think it might be both. It's sad...I miss the erotic thoughts but they're gone now. I feel nothing but irritability. I miss my session this week which is my first time ever and I don't miss him. I'm not sure of this new stage. It was more exciting when I fantasized about him.
What's the point of therapy now? It bothers me to go. 😞

This is the point of therapy -- to work past plateaus like this. Why not give it another month or so. Put your T on notice you are feeling irritable and want to press for self improvement in such and such. See if he meets the challenge getting you there. See if you meet the challenge. You can quit any time but this juncture may be good for you to push through.

Good point, thanks! I can't help but feel like there's no more to talk about & I can deal with the small stuff on my own. This is the strongest I have been in a long time...but I'll give it a shot.

When my T changes her position in her chair, and I catch myself thinking about how much I want to stroke her legs. Not really unexpected, she's very attractive, but I was somewhat embarrassed, 'cause just a minute earlier she asked me what I want to do now. And of course I went into silent mode.
Later, I start fantasizing about her. I guess ET is happening for me after all.

I've had that. It becomes a weird session. And it's almost as if he's picking up on it. Then he goes in for the kill. Takes a couple more sessions for me to recover and I feel reconnected and then the feelings come back up again because he's had to sit with me through my sobbing.

When you're watching movies and you imagine talking to or laughing with T about it

when if you would have the choice between a date with Benedict Cumberbatch or a date with him, you would choose him. (To bad I will never have that choice.)

when reading a book you can't even finish one page, because your thoughts keep going to him.

when you send him an e-mail about the transference, and part of what he says in his response is that he's glad I'm "willing to address this head on." And your first thought is "Hee hee--'head on.' I know some other stuff I'd like to address head on..."

Haha, that's funny. Love it when Ts are saying all serious stuff and we're thinking about their pants...

Help! I finally got physically intimate (long awaited!) with the love of my life (male) but had thoughts of kissing T (female, I identify a bisexual) entering my head!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks, I needed that laugh!

Sometimes I feel like my therapist is holding me with her eyes. Sometimes she looks at me with so much warmth and tenderness in her eyes that it surprises me me and I have to look away. I have a sweet little nickname for my therapist that I use only ever in my head.