Sexual attraction vs transference

I haven't read through all the responses yet so this may be redundant but I don't think that transference and "normal" just being attracted to someone are all that different.

The confusing part is transference is defined like 20 different ways depending on the type of therapy you are talking about. I would say most therapists would consider sexual attraction in therapy to be the same as being sexually attracted outside of therapy, it's just that in therapy your feelings for the therapist are referred to as "transference." And also, in therapy you are more likely to become attracted because of the inherently seductive nature of the relationship.

Transference is just a way of saying that what you feel and think about people is shaped in part by your past experiences. i.e. if you were abducted as a child by a big fat man, you might fear big fat men inexplicably. With sexual attraction they say your first attraction usually sets your "type." So if you were first attracted to a blond at age 11 when you hit puberty, odds are you will prefer blondes.

My question to you, if you don't mind me asking, is do you bring it up in all circumstances if your feelings are strong? I am referring to a pdoc and not a therapist (I do have a female one and have spoken to her about it before) so the reaction could be quite different here. And it relates to how the transference can be affecting life outside sessions. My T doesn't make much of it but has suggested finding another pdoc if it became something that was interfering with my real life. I do not want to terminate at all, as we have an excellent working relationship. I just want to get a handle on the feelings.

when I first saw our former couple's T, without knowing who she was, I thought she was really attractive. That grew as I got to know her a bit better, then it faded. She's still really attractive, but that "spark" isn't there. Luckily, my wife felt the same attraction towards her (quite a bit stronger actaully), so we commiserated on it between sessions... I don't think I could ever have done anything sexually with her (if I wasn't married, if she was never our t but I had met her at a bar or something) though. I can appreciate people, but the intimacy is scary.

Found this old thread because I've been thinking about the 'initial' transference vs the time-elapsed version.

I don't recall have a crush on my T right away. I do recall that my first reaction to T was 'she's cute.' I felt like I could relate to her because of her style and down-to-earth manner but yes, there was some physical attraction was also helpful in encouraging me to invest in the relationship. So I'm sure, now that I think about it, there was a positive transference moment there. In fact, I remember noting her style and feeling like she fit the 'mother earth' stereotype - but really it reminds me a bit of my own Mom. So that's now obvious to me.

Then one, about a year into our sessions, I saw her at a café with her family in my own neighborhood. Instead of disillusioning me, somehow her persona and family image was pretty much what I imagined. Furthermore, I caught a glimpse of her on the phone with someone - seemingly irritated — and in this little moment she was more human than ever.

It did nothing to counter my transference. I'm sure I could project a lot onto that split moment (do I really know that was her family? Do I really know that she was irritated? Is it that remarkable that she was in that neighborhood? etc.)

Then there's the little revelations she's made over time. She shares personal things when it relates to my story— and I'm getting a broader picture of her that is actually making the transference stronger. I find myself projecting more of my own perception onto her these days more than I ever did before I knew anything about her.

This for me, too. T shares stories both from his past and more current stuff with his kids, and it makes me like him even more. And he seems very humble, admitting he has plenty of faults, which, again, makes me like him.

It wasn't some sort of instant attraction for me at all. We'd (it's my marriage counselor--eek) been seeing him for over a year before anything even hit me. The emotional connection gradually hit me, then had a random sexual dream about him and started sometimes thinking of him in that way. But it has only been since around November, when I felt like I made a particular emotional connection with him in a few sessions, that I really started feeling the transference.

The thing is, like, yeah, it's considered a different thing because it's related to therapy. But it really doesn't seem that different than falling in love and/or lust with anyone, except that they're definitely unavailable...

Hmm how can a therapist work trough transference? i mean, love/maternal/paternal/erotical.
I mean, i know that me and my therapist we'll never be together, that's okay, but the feelings are stronger but i discovered myself a bit more because of that transference, so it's good transference, i think it would be negative transference if my transference for him would be with abuse and somehow i could abuse him because of my feelings, not respect him anymore. My feelings are like a roller coaster, he is one of the people that my mood swimgs change in seconds: i'm cute/kind to him and in seconds i'm angry/mad/sad to him ( i have BPD).

I like to have these feelings and i think it should be worked on, he knows my feelings and sexual desires for him now but i don't want to these feelings disappear in a violent/rude way like ''you can't have me so grown up'' (and i know i can't have him), ''these feelings have to disappear'', like some therapist do... i think that's inappropriate because it could worse the treatment and worse the symptoms depending of which disorder the patient have