Do you wonder what T's partner is like?

My therapist has shown me a couple of photos of her family. Her husband is quite handsome, and has a very professional, highly schooled look about him.

I saw one pic of his wife and she doesn't seem very attractive or beautiful, an average woman lil bit older then him but I can't be sure about her if I saw only one pic.

I have met my T's hubby. Super nice, major geek of a man. Prior to meeting the good man, I had suspected my T was a geek herself. Hubby confirmed it. Lol!!

T's wife is like only a couple of years older than me but looks at least 10 to 15 years older than me. she doesn't look old old just more like what you expect a beautiful 46 yr old to look like. i look about 25. t thought my birthyear was a typo!!! I do look freakishly young which T has mentioned a couple of times. once he was saying something about one of his teen daughters and laughed bc he claimed he totally forgot I'm actually his age not theirs. lately he's made comments about he and his wife getting older. I just smiled. in addition to freakish Gaby Union genes DH is significantly older than me. T noted this and wondered what it felt like to be my age but not be feeling the aging angst. it was a weird convo bc it seemed like T was getting all weirdly sad about it.

How come everyone is not traumatized by knowing your T is married?

Am I the only one who doesn't know anything about my T?

My T got remarried last summer, I knew nothing about her marital status until she had a couple weeks planned to go away, and told me she was getting married. I was surprised, and she seemed so nonchalant about it. I wished her congratulations and a great time. I participated in a mud run on the day she got married..ha ha.

I know a lot about my T.

Sorry, I don't have romantic feelings towards her, but I do visit this subforum from time to time to offer support.

Personally I don't like to think too much about the therapist's personal life, but I've found myself at times thinking something that I might guess their partner has as far as personality, compatibility, etc. so for example w/ a male therapist who was sort of rigid and concrete I would think something like "It'd be funny to see him dating an artistic/free-spirit type.. his wife is probably more like him.." (he mentioned having a wife specifically)

Oh yeah. Same here. Sorry. I forget I'm in the romantic section sometimes.

Same here! I forget a lot! LOL

I was hurt but if he is not married it doesnt mean he is single and if he is single then it makes me think that something is wrong with him. And if he is married it doesnt mean he loves his wife. I would be hurt if he had a lover, wifes sometimes are headaches or just friends

I know exT's (soon to be current T) husband a bit. He is attractive and smart. He is a research scientist and plays drums. I don't really like him though because he used to let other women sit on his lap while he was at out-of-town conferences without T.

I'm curious why?

Because I have no romantic interest in my therapist. That's his life, not mine. All of my T's have been married (or divorced), with kids and very active personal lives. They have all had photos in their offices of family members, told me about their family in bits and pieces over time, etc. they are very real people with very real lives.

Because being a single guy after a certain age means there's obviously something wrong with you and that you're probably some kind of deviant creep. Ancient story to me.

My T is a single guy, between 45 and 50 and I've found myself wondering what is wrong with him when I'm being uncharitable. Not that I should cast the first stone. I am 35 and now single. Other times I feel tenderly towards him and hope that he finds someone nice.

I'm not sure about the creep part....but I tend to think older single guys are more demanding/uptight/hard to get along with/ perhaps emotionally unavailable/ don't want enough sex/want too much sex....all the various reasons why relationships don't last. But the same goes for women....hope I'm not turning into one of those women!

Maybe and also there comes question to T- why are you single in your age, do women cant stand you or maybe you have difficulties to have relationship with woman or maybe noone finds you attractive or maybe you dont even want family, maybe you are gay or too shy or loser.
That is what I would think if my T were single. I also would think he is unhappy or maybe having unserious relationship.

I would be THRILLED to be single. That's a whole 'nother story...

Oh definitely. Probably all of the above, in fact.

Yikes. What about people who just prefer to be single? I don't judge people so harshly and that's clearly black/white thinking but hey we each have out own truth. I've known plenty of successful and happy single folks closely over years and never felt concerned about them creep wise.

Oh, I agree completely.

Nevermind this post. It's early and I think my sarcasm detector malfunctioned.

That's exactly what it means, and I find it pretty baffling myself, but you'd be surprised how widespread this attitude is. I've been treated like **** by women before on this basis.

I thought at first you agreed with that concept lol I'm not quite awake yet, so I attempted to delete that post but oh well. I'm sorry to hear you've had that experience. I'm definitely surprised to hear how common it is. How unfortunate for both people, that one simply being single can turn the other away. How would a person with this belief ever find a suitable partner then? Only date when you can steal a married man? LOL.

i know a good bit about my T and i actually know his gf, have talked to her and stuff. but like i said i dont have romantic feelings for my T so it doesnt bother me. i am actually happy for him

Thanks for sharing! It seems most people here are not in love with their Ts and so are not bothered by this information.

I once found ambiguous evidence that T is perhaps married, and I cried for days.