[captgut]

I never thought I'd post here
So... T is a father figure to me. But I'm having weird and confusing fantasies lately... Is it ET or what?

Here are some of my thoughts: (TMI trigger)
- Do I want to hug him? - Yes!
- Do I want to kiss him on the cheek? - Yes!
- Do I want to kiss his lips? - Not sure. Yes?
- Do I want to have sex with him? - Not sure. No?
- Do I want him to be my boyfriend/husband? - NO WAY
- Do I want to go out on a date with him? - NO WAY

So I have no idea what do I feel. Any thoughts please?

[growlycat]

You are too hard on yourself! Therapy brings up all kinds of feelings. Some come and go. I felt all of the above plus contradictory feelings like repulsion and feeling like he is too much like me. Overall I am fond of him m but sexual impulses arise and they freak me out too. It's just therapy being weird.

[captgut]

Originally Posted by growlycat

You are too hard on yourself! Therapy brings up all kinds of feelings. Some come and go. I felt all of the above plus contradictory feelings like repulsion and feeling like he is too much like me. Overall I am fond of him m but sexual impulses arise and they freak me out too. It's just therapy being weird.

You're right, I blame myself and think I'm bad because of these thoughts...
I think I should tell him, but I'd DIE of embarrassment. And he'd hate me

[growlycat]

It is hard to talk to t about but worth it. You will feel relief after that hard conversation.

I've similar feelings about my T. I've read that it's due to unmet childhood needs becoming unmet adulthood needs.

I think my feelings for T are disgusting because "I am disgusting".

I told T and she said my feelings aren't the problem, but my self disgust is.

She and I talked about what I didn't get growing up, and what I still don't have.

I like to remind myself of these great posts by Attachment Girl:

https://boundaryninjatales.com/2012/...-transference/

https://boundaryninjatales.com/2011/...-really-arent/

[DP_2017]

well if hugging is that, then I am in trouble, I hug him every session and I crave it sometimes between sessions

otherwise I can not imagine him in any way but causal/friend like, I think I'd quit if I had ET.

i have no idea if what you have is but I assume its probably not? doesn't sound too sexual etc to me.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

A T will almost always put these things down to some sort of transference, or a mixture of a couple. Half of me thinks; "yea, its a good way to find start points for exploration". The other half of me thinks; "nah, its a load of b.s so they can wriggle out of any awkward feelings towards them, or between them and the client."

[nicoleflynn]

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are...and should be honored.

[Swimmersusan]

What if you answer yes to all of them!!! Looks like I'm done for