[scarcejoy]

About 3 months ago, I finally told my therapist about my loving feelings towards her. Even though I was very nervous, we were able to talk and work through it. But after talking about transference, those loving feelings towards my therapist have not lessened. I didn’t tell her how deep my affection is for her. My love for my therapist is enormous. I went from thinking about her 2-3 times a week to thinking about her every day. I like to fantasize about having a romantic relationship with my therapist. I feel like we could make a great couple. I know that obviously is not possible but I am so in love with her that I wish that happened. I am able to go to therapy and talk about my issues but once I am on my own, that is when I dream about my therapist. Its easy for me to fantasize because I know my therapist is single. Now that the weather is hotter, I fantasize about my therapist and I hanging out at the beach. The both of us looking so attractive and enjoying the weather. Ever since I first told my therapist about transference, those loving thoughts have only intensified more and more. I really like it when she smiles when I walk in. Makes me want to smile just as bright as her smile is but I can’t force myself because I am about to talk about difficult things. My therapist has a very special in my heart. Without her, my mental health would derail.

[wheeler]

As hard as it is, you may need to have more conversations with her about your feelings til you feel more settled about it.

[nicoleflynn]

I have loved my t for many years; the feelings have never changed...Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are.

I feel that as long as you benefit in positive ways from your therapy, that the transference love need not be damaging. It's possible, too, that the fervor of the love will in fact die down a bit over time, even if it never dies.

I met my psychiatrist during my first psychiatric hospitalization. He was my psychiatrist at that time. It didn't take more than a second for me to be wowed by him. I remember sitting in the lounge desperate with a mixed bipolar episode and suffering from alcohol detox. Then a huge handsome man (he's 6' 6.5" tall) walked towards me and asked if I was "me". When I saw him it was as if Cupid hit me with an arrow. It was only about one year later that I started seeing him privately outpatient. At first I just adored him, then I was totally in love. I would flirt with him and tease him. He definitely knew. His formal way oddly egged me on. For some time I was having maladaptive daydreaming about him, spending hours per day daydreaming about living with him. Dialogues. The whole works. It got so extreme that when I saw him I would sometimes dissociate.

Over the past three years my extreme erotic transference has calmed a bit. I still love him, but I've stopped all of the daydreaming. Really, our doctor/patient relationship has improved in ways because of it.

My psychiatrist is a lot older than me. Probably 25 years older. He will eventually retire even though he's in his early 70s. I will likely eventually move away. I don't look forward to that at all. Frankly, I'm afraid I might have a bipolar episode when it happens. But I will get over it.