Friend passed.

My hand and heart go out to you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

(((((( JD ))))))

Put your arms around yourself and imagine a hug from me. So sorry to hear about your loss, it's never easy.

Pix

Thank you Betrue. I appreciate that.

Thanks hugs.

Thanks Justapixie. I'm imagining

I went ahead to the Scouting activity (for adult Scouters) that is held each year. Sol would always be there. I'm not the only one who noticed he wasn't, and missed him. It was good to be around others who were mourning but pushing on ... and tough too, as each person hugged and asked, Did you hear about Sol? brought tears to my eyes.

I did find out that many are wearing their Class A uniforms to the funeral. I happened to have a skirt that is always official but no longer manufactured (and it's a wrap skirt so it accommodates me through the sizes hehehe ) so if I am able, I'll wear it. Generally when I have an "all day" activity, I'm trashed for a week or so. AND the funeral is at 9 am. But I'll put my uniforming together tonight, and have my gps map set, and my alarm, and if I am physically able, I'll go say goodbye to my friend, among friends.

I took my last ride with Sol today. It seemed like an eternity from the funeral home to the cemetery, even though police excorts (5?) blocked traffic the whole way. Strange to drive through so many red lights.

Being a jewish funeral, all were invited to shovel dirt onto the coffin in the grave. The first is done with shovel upside down, to show reluctance. After the second, you put the shovel back into the dirt rather than hand it to the next, to not pass along your grief, but for each to have their own. I nearly couldn't do it. But I did.

I couldn't go to the home afterwards though. I am too distraught at losing my best friend, and didn't want to be anyone's focus. I would have love to go and hear everything I could about Sol, the stuff I knew and the stuff I could learn.

I did learn at the service that the faith following the family has believes in the resurrection, and that comforted me a bit.

Please do continue to pray for me that I will make good decisions even though I'm surely not thinking clearly. I'm really beginning to hate the idea of death.

Goodbye ole' friend.

((((((((( JD )))))))))))) I'm sorry I am just reading this. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you during this hard time. Death is such a bittersweet thing. Bitter because of the loss in our lives, and sweet because of our hope of being with God again and not having any suffering. Please take care of yourself after being thru this tough emotional time. I know how that can play on physical pain. Thinking of you and Sol's family.

Hugs
Beth

Thanks Beth. I really do appreciate your support (and everyone's!) The loss is so deep, I'm just trying to breathe, having faith that it will lessen before too long, and I will function once again.

Since no one called me when he fell ill, I think they didn't know about me. Sol and I had a special relationship though not constant, but I didn't realize his family may not have known about me at all. I silently hope he kept at least one of my "I love you" cards that they will find, and know. At the funeral home I personally met one of his neighbors, and commented how he probably knew me only by my car (in Sol's driveway) and he said he didn't remember seeing it at all. That also meant Sol didn't talk about me with him either? That's okay ... I just don't know if Sol would have wanted me to say anything to the family now. I'm all alone in this.

It must be so difficult to remember him all on your own and not being able to share the memories with the people who new him. I will definately be praying for you. I hope that in time it will get easier... loss is hard. Unfortunately I wouldn't know what to do either in your situation... wish I could give some sound advice.

Today (Tuesday) is the last day the family is sitting shiva. Usually it's 7 days, and I have Wednesday's off (from doctoring) but they are only sitting 3 days. I really want to go one more time to his home, and sit and listen and talk about what a great friend he was...

can you ring them and ask if you can come over? i knwo that would be hard but can you say you just want to pay your respects? or in my family we would visit wiht food......would that work...... Im sorry i dont know if that is ok in the jewish religion..

its so hard when somoone passes and they meant a lot to you but maybe noone but you and they knew - the thing to do jmo is hold that love close to you and remember all the good things - somtimes it makes the pain more bearable -

remember everyone greaves differently and for different amounts of time - dont set your standards by other people - wea re all individuals - be kind to yourself at this time and do comforting things

someone once told me that those who live on in the hearts and memories of others never truly die ...im so sorry for your loss

May you find peace.

I never made it to the house. I thought about writing to the family in c/o that address.... Maybe denial is a good path right now.

JD-- following this thread although I don't know you, as I am new here, made me want to embrace you and comfort you. In the Jewish tradition there is also the saying "May the memory be a blessing". I hope that your memories of him sustain you and give you strength.

(((((JD)))))))

your still in our prayers....

Please know that, okay?



Crew