Surrender

Has anyone ever experienced a time in their life...when you were so unsure of where you were going, or whether or not you were on a good path, that all you could do was surrender and let things go? Just sort of let things unfold by themselves?

I am in this place right now in my life at the age of 25. It is a comfort sometimes to surrender; other times it is terrifying because I feel I should be in control. But I am not in control and don't understand many things right now....

~Alma

I'm quite a bit older than you are and yes, there have been a lot of times I've had to surrender to situations that I had no control over. I actually appreciate surrendering because it stops me from over stressing myself, I get to "see" how the situation plays out without the effort of trying to control it which could very well end up worse off than how it would play out naturally.

I am not always good at surrendering but I'm getting better at it.

I too am quite a bit older than you, but I have been in the same boat as you.

I remember in the years following my graduation from university I was lost in the world. I had no idea what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go or what path I wanted to follow. Many people have been in this position before me.

For me, I found two things helped me A LOT. The first was my friends. I saw that they were in the same position as me and realised that I didn't need to get a job right away and grow up so fast, I had the rest of my life to work, I wanted to live life.

I tried to figure out my passions and what I truly wanted, not what my parents or others wanted. And then I made a plan, this was step two.

After I worked out what I wanted, which entailed travelling, finding someone to love, and basically experiencing the world I made a plan. I spent the better part of a year working out where I wanted to travel, what I wanted to accomplish and how I would go about it.

I'm not sure if this helps you but just know that many people have been in the same position and so it is nothing to worry about, just make sure you do things YOU want to do.

Cheers, Luca

Thank you Sabby and Isamson.

Isamson....What you describe is where I am now. I'm in grad school right now for Library Science...I was unable to find work with my bachelor's and decided to pursue higher education thinking it would help me find work later. I like library science (have worked in a library for 5 years) but I am also very creative. I am illustrating a children's book that's coming out on Halloween, and I love to paint and sew....I want to do more creative work but also want a stable job one day so I can support myself and travel. I just feel scared because I'm wondering if grad school was a mistake....or if I will have the patience and fortitude to complete my studies. Do you think I should have waited more...? Or maybe explored more creative options before taking the leap into grad school? I graduated from undergrad and then had no idea what to do with myself...I was out of school for 2 years and didn't find any type of work, had no idea what to do with myself...Now I am back in school. The schoolwork isn't even that hard, but I am so antsy and want to draw and paint and do other things as well...I want to travel, see the world....

What should I do? You are older, have been through this, are very likely much wiser than I am...I don't really want to quit school now as I have made the commitment and would feel pretty awful if I left now...

Some guidance or advice would be so appreciated in this very delicate time.... <3

Thank you so much,

Alma

If I may, here is something you may wish to think about. Since you were unable to find work for 2 years and went back to school, and since you are unsure of what you wish to do right now, here, today, why not follow through with your schooling without any regrets?

Education is so important these days and to not continue it through grad school, I think you would be doing yourself a disservice. Think of how good you can feel about yourself when you get your degree. Think of the possibilities that can come available to you after graduation.

Can you continue to do some of your artwork while still in grad school? Even if you only get to work on it for short times, it's better than no times right?

May I ask if you believe in God or a higher power? If so, why not ask God or your higher power what they want you to do?

Just my 2 cents worth.

Thank you sabby....that was wise and heartening...

I've actually asked God/Unifiying Spirit what He/It wants me to do and the answer I got from my depths was that I should find a way to combine my art with library science. In other words, I need to do both. <3 It's one thing to hear the voice, it's another to listen...

~Alma

Ahhh then there you go! Yes, the answers that we sometimes hear are difficult to sometimes follow through on, but isn't that what surrendering is all about?

When we do that, it shows that we are willing to do what pleases God/Unifying Spirit and in turn, we then are rewarded by the outcome of our willingness to pursue that which may be difficult but not impossible for us to do. Whenever we are asked to do something that may be difficult, we are always given the tools with which we need to do the job.

I think two of the hardest things to do is to be patient and to go where we are asked to go, but when we get the payoff for surrendering, obeying and succeeding is absolute bliss!

The tough thing is I keep feeling I partly went into grad school to like...please my parents. They didn't force me to go but were definitely applying pressure. I'm having a hard time shaking the feeling that I've compromised myself somehow, that it would've been better to just pursue art. The thing is I discovered my affinity for art relatively recently, so I never thought of it as a viable career path on its own...much less how to market myself or expose myself as an artist. So grad school seemed practical...

I don't know. I don't know anymore.

Well, I don't think that appeasing your parents is necessarily the wrong thing to do. Sometimes we have to go around Robin Hood's barn to get to the path that we feel we should or want to be on. And again, that is not necessarily the wrong way to travel.

I may be wrong in my thinking here, but to me, it seems that having a good degree is always a plus in your pocket and something you may be able to fall back on in the future should the art path not turn out the way you hoped or planned it to. While it may take some time to graduate with the Library degree and put off you putting more time into your art right now, it does have it's benefits.

There is nothing wrong with having your goals of working in the art field. I think it's wonderful. Why not make a conscious decision to continue on the path you are now on while looking further into the field of art at a slower pace. Getting as much information as you can about the art world and what might be available to you while working on your current degree can only be helpful to you when you graduate. It will help to give you better focus on where and how you wish to pursue your dream and a more defined way of achieving it.

Of course, this is purely my opinion and I'm not trying to push anything on you at all. It is completely your decision. I only hope that you give things some good thought. Take your time, there is plenty of time to take!

Thank you sabby....means the world that you took the time to write. I've asked a few people on this forum about this issue and many of them are echoing what you said. So I think I will just stick with school and be patient, and also not push myself too hard. I don't want it to get to the point where I'm killing myself over schoolwork and neglecting my art and family and even health, which is where I am now.

*hug*

Alma, I used to feel that way too. For a long time! But I finally had to pick myself up and get back in control. Pray for strength, and I will too! Take care!