[will i get married]

I have been having problems in my relationship. In short, when I met my lover (call him L), I wasn't a virgin (had lost to a guy I had a long term relationship which I hoped will end in marriage but have never had sex with others) and used to flirt with people and have kissed other guys.
But I love L and even if initially I wasn't open about my past, I finally told him everything. But now he treats me horribly and says I am a used, second-hand person and there is nothing positive in me and I should be with the devil. L is kind and caring but when he gets angry, he even calls me a pros******.
I didn't mean to hurt him so - I wish I hadn't lost my virginity - but then I was cheated on. Can I ever find someone who can get over my past and treat me well? Or am I supposed to resign myself that this is my fate and I am impure and evil?
please pray for me - I am just - going mad

[catsrhelm]

I say you can find someone who will accept you, past and all. The one that you were with was a jerk.

[tohelpafriend]

from what you wrote, you didn't intentionally hurt anyone......if he really loved you,
there's forgiveness, and maybe you are in a culture where pre marital relations are more serious to the man? idk......there is never a reason to be treated horribly......find somone who respects you in the now....good luck

[arachnophobia.kid]

Sorry for your pain. I will pray.

L doesn't sound like such a great guy, I hope you don't mind me saying that. You deserve to be treated with respect.

[henrydavidtherobot]

no one is impure or evil. you're worthy of love.

[will i get married]

I am not a very religious person but I go to church regularly, participate in church activities and have a firm belief in God. But with all my past - I feel I am too bad as my L says?

[SadPam]

"There is nothing you have done wrong that God cannot fix through the blood of Jesus. Nothing." - Joyce Meyer

Girl, the Lord loves you unconditionally and nothing you have done or will do will change that. Ask Him to forgive you for this sin and trust that He will.

"We are told that sex outside of marriage is good as long as you are in love and as long as you truly respect the other person. False prophets have become the defenders of sin." - Pastor David Wilkerson

I myself bought into this lie early in life; I now see the error of my ways and believe that God has forgiven me. His forgiveness is truly all that matters; if L can't forgive you and accept that you had a life prior to meeting him, wish him well and let him go. NEVER let a man treat you with such disrespect, you deserve better.

[will i get married]

I really don't know what to do except to pray. Have even discussed with L about his name-calling. He said he is sorry but he can't avoid it in his anger. He really is caring and protective but at times when he gets angry (it happens everyday), I don't know what to do. I don't have the strength to decide

[lsamson]

Don't listen to him. Just because you have had sex with someone before does not mean you are evil or impure. It is only natural and actually quite healthy.

Don't listen to L, find someone else who actually cares about you and doesn't care about your past. It isn't even a big deal that you are not a virgin, don't feel bad about it.

Cheers

[eskielover]

Yes, sex outside of marriage is a sin.....but so is almost everything else we do also......Jesus told the woman at the well who was living with a man outside of marriage to "your sins are forgiven, go & sin no more"......& God forgives all our sins we ask to be forgiven.....& we as believers are to act in the same way.......we are NOT to hold past wrongs against others.....& only if we are sinnless ourselves (which NONE OF US ARE) can we cast the first stone...........

I wouldn't even consider wasting my time of my energy trying to have a relationship with this L person.....if he treats you this way when he gets angry at this point in your relationship.....it will only get worse the longer he knows you......it's just the way those kind of people act.

There are people out there (Believers included) who do not hold past actions against a person & are willing to know what is really in your heart....this L person doesn't seem to care the least bit about your heart or your emotions......sounds like a self-centered person who doesn't know how to treat women with any sort of respect or caring........it's God who does the judging as God is the only one who knows our hearts.....no human in this world is capable of knowing what God knows....so for him to treat you in such a manor just because he can't control his Anger.....how much worse will it get when he can't control his anger & he starts to hit you because he can get away with this?

Don't stick around to find out how much worse it can get......My prayer is that you learn to value yourself as God values you & that you learn to love yourself as God loves you......& God wouldn't tolerate that kind of treatment to any of his creation.....you shouldn't tolerate it either.

[avlady]

Please stay away from this person, he will continue his pattern if you let him get away with it. I will also pray for you!