[puzzclar]

After trauma and having sui thoughts, I am angry at God for giving this all to me! I spoke with a church leader about it and he suggested prayer. How can I when God left me!!!! How can I be humble to ask Him?!

[AbsurdBlackBear]

My belief is that God is always with us and suffers our pains with us whether physical, psychological, or spiritual. That is not to belittle the pain that you are feeling, but rather the emphasize the radical empathy that is implied in a belief in the Transcendent God.

I'm sorry for your suffering.

[avlady]

faith is what you seem to be missing. i am going through a period of doubt now too. it all seems so ridiculous. i do pray especially for us people here.

[Fearfool]

I think most of us are too small to be important enough to qualify for a divine intervention. Faith in god is same with faith in humans, difficult to do.

[yakmom]

I KNOW God is real. Too many times He's helped me when there could be no human explanation for things that occurred. I'm not trying to hijack this thread, just maybe give some hope. He's real, He's near and He can and does give Peace. Just ask. None of us are too small. Believe. Blessings to you all.

[puzzclar]

This is getting far from the direction I was thinking. It's about humility to ask for help. Either from a God or others.

[IrisBloom]

I'm sorry you are suffering

All I can say is keep praying.

[Cat_Lover_58]

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I go through times of doubt, questioning and anger. God understands! Just keep on walking one step at a time. Keep praying, and remember it's okay to be angry. Hugs..

[CindyNotSindy]

Ohhhh I am so with you in this. I am sorry you are struggling. Typically I do not blame God for anything because I can see my own part in the messes I end up in. However, I have tried *everything* humanly possible to escape this crippling depression and I cannot do it. I have prayed and prayed, and am actually going through intercessory healing prayer with someone now, once a week for two hours. I have no relief. I never want to doubt God, however, this depression is clearly physiological, but I do feel forsaken.

My therapist helped me to realize that mental illness is an illness. Diabetes is an illness. Cancer is an illness. RA is an illness. Ours is more challenging because it is not accepted many times as an illness and everyone loves to give advice on how to overcome it, where no one would give a diabetic the advice to "think positive".

If you can see this time in contrast to eternity, it is quite short in comparison. Although the micro-view is excruciatingly long. One day this will all make sense, but our capacity to understand now is limited.

I pray for strength, endurance and wisdom as you press forward my friend. And please know you are in really good company in this battle.

[honeyB77]

Originally Posted by CindyNotSindy

Ohhhh I am so with you in this. I am sorry you are struggling. Typically I do not blame God for anything because I can see my own part in the messes I end up in. However, I have tried *everything* humanly possible to escape this crippling depression and I cannot do it. I have prayed and prayed, and am actually going through intercessory healing prayer with someone now, once a week for two hours. I have no relief. I never want to doubt God, however, this depression is clearly physiological, but I do feel forsaken.

He also helped me to realize that mental illness is an illness. Diabetes is an illness. Cancer is an illness. RA is an illness. Ours is more challenging because it is not accepted many times as an illness and everyone loves to give advice on how to overcome it, where no one would give a diabetic the advice to "think positive".

If you can see this time in contrast to eternity, it is quite short in comparison. Although the micro-view is excruciatingly long.

I pray for strength, endurance and wisdom as you press forward my friend. And please know you are in really good company in this battle.

Your response touched me. Thank you.

[Deejay14]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

After trauma and having sui thoughts, I am angry at God for giving this all to me! I spoke with a church leader about it and he suggested prayer. How can I when God left me!!!! How can I be humble to ask Him?!

God does not give you this bad stuff happening. God did not and would not leave you. God is I credible forgiving and wants us to. be happy. Just ask God for help. Nothing special ...just ask. God can handle all our crappy emotions.

[TrailRunner14]

Thank you for posting this thread! I feel and understand all you are saying.

I've questioned myself, why would God let this happen? Where was he?

He has shown me, in working with my counselor, that He was there. I know - what?

I've come to understand the sovereignty of Him. He gives us all free will. Free will to choose right and not wrong. Right? Then my question was, "why me?" I haven't gotten an answer for that. I just hold on to his sovereignty. He knows everything that our lives involve, that we don't. Pieces that fit together to make something we don't understand in the moment.

I'm in the midst of putting all these pieces together myself right now. It's a rollercoaster ride of trusting Him one minute and the next wanting to yell at Him "why!!?" No answer, but there have been moments of peace and Him there, in those times I didn't understand.

I've gone back, with my counselor, to those times that are frozen moments. I've visualized everything I can remember about them. When I go back now, I can see him there. He's standing there and I can "feel" him there. In my heart, he has tears for me and for the one what has wounded me. That has given me healing and peace in those moments.

To me, it's a work of perseverance and faith to know he was there his heart was broken for me and for them.

I hope that wasn't too much to share on such a personal issue. I thought much about it before putting it out here. It just felt like something that would give you courage, hope and strength.

I pray that it gives you courage to go forward and look for him in those moments, and strength to keep pressing forward!

Look for Him.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

After trauma and having sui thoughts, I am angry at God for giving this all to me!

If God is the One who gave this all to you, then it is no wonder that you are angry. This next question is asked sincerely: How do you know that it was God that gave this to you?

Originally Posted by puzzclar

I spoke with a church leader about it and he suggested prayer.

May I ask what prayer means to you? There is no such thing as prayer in my religion so I looked up the definition. Merriam-Webster defines prayer as "words spoken to God" as their primary definition. The Oxford dictionary defines prayer this way: "a solemn request for help or expression of thanks to God or an object of worship". Those definitions are sufficiently different to me that I think it matters how you define prayer.

If you are angry at God, then telling Him that you are angry at Him would meet the first definition but not the second. My religion doesn't have a God either so I don't have experience in this but I know that if I am angry at a person, communication is often key. I tell the person that I am angry at them and why. Then I listen to their response.

Originally Posted by puzzclar

How can I when God left me!!!!

Again, I don't know about God - but I know that most people who do believe think that God is omniscient. Therefore, if you wrote a letter to Him, he would know the contents.

Originally Posted by puzzclar

How can I be humble to ask Him?!

I'm not sure what you would be asking Him...perhaps 'why'? Or maybe for relief? Perhaps though you might ask for understanding or acceptance. In my life I was subjected to horrid abuse in early childhood that resulted in mental health issues. If not me, then perhaps it would have been my siblings. If that is true, then I'm glad it was me. Perhaps if there is a God, and if He is omniscient, then He knew that I would feel that way today and so He gave me my wish before I ever wished it.

My next wish is for you to feel peace.

[NSNW1218]

I am in the same boat puzz . Why do bad things happen to good people. I drunk walking away from a crash barely hurt while killing a husband and wife in the other car

[TrailRunner14]

No words. I pray for peace/healing for you.

[Psychochick]

I admit I feel a lot of anger towards God. Yes, I have had many good things in my life, but they seem to be overwhelmed by the bad things. And that's when I get mad, and to be totally honest, I let God know how I feel! (I figure He knows anyway, so why pretend?) I have told God off in no uncertain terms about how unfairly I feel he's treating me (and other ppl too). Some ppl might be offended by that, I truly mean no offense, but I do think that God is big enough and strong enough to handle the truth--or at least a scolding from me!!

[Aardwolf]

Whenever I meet people angry at religion, or belief in general I've always viewed it like this: Good and evil are playing a game of chess, we are all the pieces.

There will always be casualties and issues no matter how careful both sides are, and we are powerless to do anything.

I believe even as difficult as it may be, accepting what has happened would be wise. Only then will you truly be able to move forward to reach your goals.

Sending you warmth and clarity during this time.

[Theseus]

In my belief system, God does not dole out bad things, does not punish or visit misfortune upon people. There is something else at work there that God only rarely intervenes in. So for me, I can't possibly get mad at him, any more than I can get mad at a hammer that falls on my foot. It was neither God's nor the hammer's intention to do me wrong.

[puzzclar]

Thanks everyone!!!

Originally Posted by puzzclar

After trauma and having sui thoughts, I am angry at God for giving this all to me! I spoke with a church leader about it and he suggested prayer. How can I when God left me!!!! How can I be humble to ask Him?!

I want you to know that God has never and will never leave you. He is waiting for you to "see Him" in the hardest times...

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

After trauma and having sui thoughts, I am angry at God for giving this all to me! I spoke with a church leader about it and he suggested prayer. How can I when God left me!!!! How can I be humble to ask Him?!

Unfortunately, this is something many individuals who suffer trauma do where they believe that it is God that is punishing them.

Often, the reality is that a lot of trauma occurs to individuals from other individuals and that has nothing to do with God. The idea of "if I am good, I will be protected and rewarded". Well, that isn't true because we live in a world of so many imperfect human beings that no matter how good one is, that person can get hurt. The purpose in developing a relationship with God is to pray for guidance and comfort, forgiveness, in our effort to live our lives and be a good person, but also have self forgiveness as we ourselves are never going to be perfect.

[amulet]

Originally Posted by avlady

faith is what you seem to be missing. i am going through a period of doubt now too. it all seems so ridiculous. i do pray especially for us people here.

I have wrestled with the same doubt and faith all my life. Challenged since childhood from depession. Good and bad decades. Hugs. I have no answers only hugs.

[Artchic528]

I'm sorry your current faith isn't sufficient enough for you right now. If it's of any comfort, I was also lost and angry, until I found peace in the faith I have now. Maybe you need to ask some questions and do some soul searching to find a new and better way to spiritual enlightenment. May you also find peace.