[survivormom]

I know that this is supposed to be a great time of year, but I have a really hard time with it. I almost want to say I hate it. I'm sure it has to do with my depression. I don't have a problem at all celebrating the birth of Christ, it's the commercialism of it all. I just don't like all the decorations, shopping, all the other stuff that's been integrated into it. I'm also pretty sure there's more going on inside....just wondered if anyone else had the same struggles.

Hope I didn't bring anyone down! I'm just looking for someone who understands where I'm coming from.

[Peacemaker]

I am not having the same issues as yourself but mine are different. I have so much to be thankful for to be sure. I just feel like it is too soon, in a way. I believe that I feel that way just because I have no excitement of it. I refuse to go the the malls, the stores, etc. I do hope be get "into the spirit" for my 10 yr. old son. Having an excited mother makes him even more excited an happier. I had better hurry, I don't have much time.

I do know many people like yourself who are very disappointed regarding the commercialism of the holiday. I really do not mind the decorations, although when in a depression in the past, all I wanted to do was to tear them down!!! Maybe your situation is a little of both. Depression robs us of so much in our lives that it is so difficult to distinguish between what is due to the depression and what is not.

I know this was less than helpful, but know you are not alone.

Love and Light,
Peacemaker
Sherri

[Perna]

The commercialism is trying to get us to believe things that aren't true, trying to get us to "buy into" something and that can make me a bit sad. I have a passage I like to re-read each year:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Before we go any further, it is necessary to acknowledge the part that the various media play in provoking the "gimme" attitude children develop during the month of December. Many children, especially younger ones, are painfully suggestive when it comes to wanting whatever they see on television. It has but to flicker into view on the screen, and it becomes their heart's desire. They must have it, even if they don't know what it is. And if they suspect they might not get it, they are crushed. They feel woefully forsaken if they cannot have the toys they see on TV: the toys that make the kids in the commercials happy, the toys that make those same kids have lots of nice friends to play with, the toys that give those commercial kids a big new house to live in and a mother who brings cookies and Kool-Aid while they're playing with their My Little Pony dolls.

Isn't this readily apparent? I recognize in myself a tremendous response to beer ads, by way of example. I hesitate to mention it, but when I see those young, upwardly mobile young couples having a Lowenbrau, I almost believe that if I go out and buy a case, a swarm of caring, interesting, attractive friends--whom I have somehow known for years--will materialize, and we'll sit in front of our natural stone fireplace (with the hearth as big as all outdoors) on the bearskin rug, pour our liquid ambrosia into crystal schooners, and laugh and tell stories as the flickering light from the cheerful fire beams from our beautiful faces while we bask in the warm fellowship of our Rocky Mountain A-frame. . .

How much more susceptible is the six-year old? A child whose parents are busy much of the time with their various responsibilities, a child whose red hair and freckles invite ridicule on the playground, a child who has trouble in school because he's dyslexic, a child who wishes he had a big brother instead of a colicky baby sister who has effectively upstaged him in the family circus! Of course he wants a Gobot! Naturally he'd like to have coordinate Winnie the Pooh clothes from Sears! Who wouldn't like to eat Frankenberrry cereal for breakfast every morning? obviously that's where the happiness is. The commercial kids demonstrating all these products don't have the same problems and anxieties he does. What else can he conclude?

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From: The Christmas Book by Alice Slaikeu Lawhead (Westchester, IL: Crossway Books, 1985), page 85-86.

[KathyM]

I completely agree. It's a major turn-off to me because I'd much rather be pampered with love than gifts. I'm not into decorations either. With the condition of my house, it would be like perfuming a pig. Besides, my son will be home on leave for Christmas - he's the only present and decoration I want for Christmas.

I'm not able to participate in any shopping or party situations, so this is a time of year when all my friends are too busy to give me a call. The few that do are highly depressed over the holiday, and it makes me feel sorry for them.

So much pressure to be "joyful" this time of year. We can't schedule emotions, but that's the way it is. Hang in there.

[jeremiahgirl]

I know the feeling your having...Im sure there are many who feel as you and I have felt. What I try to do when this happens is to Think of the others "around me" who may need these external trimming to brighten their own struggles. This way the pressure is "off me". I know this can be tricky, but I have found it helps me. I also say to myself...this is a seasonal thing and will soon pass like most seasons. I am also a believer in "He who made this season (Jesus)". I rejoice in my heart His presence and just allow His presence reign. For someone who has periodical depression, and Christmas Season blues; I can't allow my moments on sadness dominate the joy that He came to give me. Its because of His Light I too can shine. If you can think more of His Presence in your heart and you'll feel better about what you see out side in the commercial world. I shall pray for for you and all who struggle with the commercalism of Christmas.

[survivormom]

Thanks, Sherri,

Yes, this was helpful. I, too, have much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband and two awesome kids, well, teenagers! I'm pretty sure it's the depression. And I'm also pretty sure there's something else we haven't uncovered that's causing me to dislike Christmas.

I do agree that we have to do our best to get excited for the family. I try to put on my game face and play the game, but it's hard. But being a mom, you gotta do what you gotta do!

Thanks,
Kacey

[(JD)]

Survivormom, "make" your own "game" create your own family traditions, choose things that make the season real to you, and allows you to not focus on the commercialism, but on the Reason for the Season.

Dear Survivormom:

I know the feeling as do many others, obviously. This Christmas, I asked my two sons what they needed and nothing they listed was a need. I taught them that a need is food, shelter, warmth and clothing. I also taught them about originality in taking something they already have and changing it somehow with their own crafts ideas. We also took sometime to do some volunteer work for somebody else. I took my sons, when they were little, to a senior's home and they played with the seniors and made them Christmas cards like they would for their own Grandparents. They loved being appreciated. Other ideas could be making crafts for each of the 12 days of Christmas.They received each piece on each day of the Christmas season. They were small but fun because everyday they had something to open. Just some ideas. Christmas can be whatever you want it to be, spiritual, giving to others, activities instead of things. That is what I am doing this Christmas. Activities create memories.

[survivormom]

Jeremiahgirl, thanks for the ideas and suggestions. I am trying my best to think of those around me and "be of good cheer." And yes, it does help a lot to know that this season will pass very quickly.

I think for Christmas, the one gift I would like is for the depression to go away. I do not have the seasonal affective disorder - I love winter! I just don't like Christmas and the depression just makes it worse.

Well, I guess it does help to know that I'm not alone. I just feels like it. Ha.

Thanks,
Kacey

[silentbob]

I would say that I would agree with Sky...Do what makes you feel comfortable. Do what you think is right.....and don't let anyone tell you different. JMO

[RACEKA]

Dear Survivormom:

I agree with you also. The true meaning of Christmas is Love. I don't see much of that at all. I work in a government building so we can't even call it Christmas. We have to call it Holiday so not to offend anyone.

Our office party turns into a bunch of bickering. We had one lady not participate because she said there wasn't going to be any food she liked. We had it catered by a nice restaurant. The bosses paid for it, so that was a slap in the face.

The commercialism is just out of hand. I decorated my house and enjoy the lights. I will be going to church on Christmas morning and spending the day by myself because I have been in recovery for a year and my family would rather serve alcohol than have me over. That's love.

That's ok, I'm grateful for what I have and I know Jesus.

Blessed Christmas to all of you.

[(JD)]

Try not to dwell on the depression, though I know it's insipious. Depression is a medical disorder, so try and allow it to be like you would any other medical illness. It's there, but isn't who you are.