[RozG]

Some of you know I've been having problems with a stalker.

The police just called wanting to talk to me in an hour...they need an update coz he's still at it but laws are very restrictive here as regards being able to do anything other than fly by my house, fone me etc to check on me.

In all fairness the police are desperately trying to help. What worries me is this man has a history of stalking, harassing people etc. But until i spoke up...no-one else had the guts to. Now little old ladies are coming out the woodwork saying he done it to them but male family were able to scare him off. Due to the time that's passed though...the cops can't use that as evidence of a pattern of behaviour etc.

The thing is...at one point...I came seriously close to harming myself over this man but this is a very close-knit community and I'm lucky that lots of people here love me to pieces. But if he's not stopped the next person he picks on may well harm themselves from desperation.

I'm not sure what I should ask you all to pray for here...that this man's heart changes maybe, that he no longer has the desire to hurt and scare people? ( He told me he loves the kick it gives him. )

Anyway, for personal reasons I can't pray about it myself but I'd be ever so grateful if you all could find it in your hearts to pray about this...FOR THE SAKE OF FUTURE VICTIMS PLEASE???

Sorry if this is a bad or wrong request but....what else to do?

Peace, love, hugs to you all...

[(JD)]

I would hope you can get your mind off of "future" and "what ifs" regarding this person. Yes, they are mini-terrorists who thrive on the fear rather than the acts, in general.

I hope you are able to talk with the police and that they do indeed stay active on this case.

[Abby]

Stay safe hun, you will be in my prayers. I am glad you have the support of your community. You have my support too!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{K_J}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm praying for you, Sweety. Stay safe.

[KathyM]

KJ

I'll pray for both of you - for you to remain safe and for him to grow a heart. I don't understand a how a person could inflict pain/fear onto others without feeling it too. I don't understand how anyone could enjoy that feeling.

[RozG]

yes i was able to talk to the police because i had a few friends offer to come with me for moral support.

i'm sat wondering what i wasted my breathe for. after talking to the police he threatened to torch my house and kill me...in front of witnesses...so the cops had to be called again...and what do they say? can't do anything about it unless he actually goes ahead and does it! well, i figure this is karma, punishment for...???...and serves me right!

thanks for caring though.

[RozG]

thank you Abby

[RozG]

thank you (((((SeptemberMorn))))))

[RozG]

((((KathyM)))) i don't understand either.

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{K_J}}}} No, it's not a punishment, Hon! Some sick-o's just get a kick out of intimidating others by exerting control over them like this creep is doing to you. I know it's scary but if you possibly can, call his bluff. He's not going to torch your house or kill you. He's just trying to scare you and seems to be doing a good job of it.

Seems you have a good support system with your neighbors and friends. If they're willing to go to the cops with you, then they will probably help you confront him in some way.

I used to have a neighbor that would harrass me constantly and I started carrying a small alluminum bat with me. If he ever got close enough to me that I could land a good blow to his knees or crotch, then he was too close to me and I could claim that I feared for my safety... which I did, the jerk! It never came to that, though... darn it! LOL

There was a person here on the board who's siggy line said "Karma is like a boomerang." I believe it. This creep is going to get his just deserts sooner or later. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he's scaring you.

... and prayers, too.

[RozG]

((((((SeptemberMorn))))))

thank you for caring and genuinely no offense intended by what i'm about to say please?

i used to work the battered wives home circuit. policy used to be staff didn't escort women when they had to go anywhere coz the guy's not really gonna do it, he's just mouthing off. that policy was FINALLY changed after one woman got killed, one got acid thrown in her face and a teenager got raped.

i NEVER make the assumption a man like him is just mouthing off or it might be the last assumption i ever make.

[SeptemberMorn]

You're right, Hon. Sometimes these creeps escalate in their control and games. I just didn't want to add to your fear by saying so. Didn't know you know it. Cops know that but it seems standard proceedure to not arrest them until they do do something and harrassment isn't one of those arrestable things.

I hope you're keeping a journal of all he says to you and what he does. I was told to do the same thing.

[RozG]

yes, following ALL advice from every corner...and thanks for trying to be protective by not stating the obvious.

you will be doing ALL you can by keeping this situation and this man in your prayers...he needs help or realization, he's ill so it's not his fault!

[(JD)]

Still, it's terribly difficult to be followed.

I have the insurance company's hired PI following me much of the time, for 21 years! Well, they did back off a little this year, once I put it in writing that I will shoot first and ask later if I fear strongly. Usually I spot them early and let them know (like take their picture- this is very unnerving to most ppl. even PIs) or wave or stop and write their tag number down. But all in all, I can never be sure when it's "just" the miserable PI or if it's a real stalker.

I know how you adjust your life, because this becomes forefront in your thinking. Please try and work away from that "always on alert"...it's bad for your physical health also.

[RozG]

i totally understand what you're saying, Sky.

it's just a little hard to not be on alert atm when he lives opposite me and

makes it clear he's always watching my house. ...like my door went when i

was in the bath, i ignored it but when i got out the bath there was a note

shoved thru my door saying he hoped i'd enjoyed my bath followed by

obscenities i won't repeat. a female police officer said how creepy she

found that followed by he hadn't actually broke any laws there! huh?

so...i respect that you're trying to help, i just don't know how i'm supposed

to actually manage to do it?

[(JD)]

Sure wish you could put up even a fake surveillance camera... and whenever you see him, grap a real camera and use the flash and make sure he sees you ...take his picture... it really does make ppl wonder what you are doing. Why not take the note back to his doorway, saying he must have meant it for a neighbor of yours. Even a little bit of assertiveness on your part will make him think, because he doesn't expect YOU to do anything. If you really want to get his goat, schedule REALTORS to come by and look over your home, make friends with one and make an agreement.... have them come by, maybe come around to the side yard or something, stay a moment and then leave...

ok maybe I still have too much of a fever to be giving advice... but surely I gave you thoughts? Stay safe.

[RozG]

Sky, i really think you have too much love in your heart to understand this sick man.

1. a real camera doesn't scare him any more tho it used to, he's escalating now.

2. if i went anywhere near his door, he'd be so angered i'd be in real danger.

3. he thrives on the attention of being photographed, noticed etc.

4. he'd threaten and stalk the realtor...i can no longer have anyone come to my house (except cops) for their own safety.

5. please don't worry, i grew up a runaway brat, if push comes to shove i know how to defend myself.

6. please just keep praying and i'll soon find out if god actually cares.

[(JD)]

oh I figured if you had realtors come over he would stop them and speak to them, and then you would have your current other witness!

Ok...

Added: too bad you don't have the money to have a PI follow HIM! At least you would know where he is, and there wouldn't be any chance of his hurting you, as the PI would see it first.

[RozG]

Sky, it's sweet of you to try and help.

[Dancer_in_the_light]

Legally, a threat of violence can be considered an assault. You should check your state and local laws. Police can mean well, but they don't always know the ins and outs, and sometimes they WILL brush you off if they think your claim isn't serious enough. Sometimes they think that a person is over-reacting, and there are more important cases, blah, blah, blah... I really suggest you get as much information as you can to protect your own interests.

If he keeps escalating, buy a gun, and get the proper training to use it. Take a self-defense course. I recommend Aikido- it's all about pressure points and physically weaker combatants being able to take down stronger opponents.

I will pray for you and this man. Just stay safe, and don't let him control your actions.

[TaintedGoth1]

[RozG]

Hi Child_of_light

Thank you for trying to help but state and local laws are not relevant to me...i'm in the U.K.

I've had mountains of legal advice...for one my baby sis is a lawyer.

Guns aren't standard over here but i could never use one anyway...i could never take a life and violence is always an absolute last resort for me even in self-defense.

Thank you for trying to help though.

[recluse1]

((((((((KJ))))))))) so sorry to hear of this terrible situation. Sending up prayer for your safety.

((((Kalamity_Jane )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Please stay safe
I am glad you are here at pc
saying a prayer for you
and who ever you need me too
muffy