Thoughts for Living

I just wanted to add something from an artical I read by Carol Lewis. I have edited it some so as not to take so much time and space. It really made me stop and think and I believe it is good for this "Thoughts for Living" thread."

Giving Thanks For Difficult People

".......Being thankful for the difficult people in our lives is a huge part of the solution. When we thank God for this person we let go of the problems, and allow God to begin working, not only in our life, but in the life of the other person as well........"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Recluse}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thank you! AMEN to that!

I was just PMing with Alton and I asked him what I have done to deserve friends like you, he and Eskie. My own response was "nothing. You all are just some of the mercies God has shown me throught His great and wonderful love."

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recluse1 said:

Giving Thanks For Difficult People


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Thank you folks.

I will think on this and on where I came to judge who is difficult.

Lenny

I think you just Know who's difficult for you to deal with and who isn't. At least, that's been my experience. No judgement necessary!

Sometimes the difficulty I sense in others is the difficulty in me. I think it harsh to view a person as difficult and then to think that his dificulties were put before me as a lessen or tool.

I find it far kinder and more loving to seek what it is about me that may contribute even in the smallest way to any persons difficulty or my view that any difficulty exists..

It is a spiritual axiom...

Lenny

You're free to believe what you want, Lenny. Far be it from me to tell you whether you are right or wrong.

I just don't agree with you.

Lenny, I do agree. In the psychological realm that can fall under "projection." Placing your own weaknesses onto others as though they are their faults or opinions when really they are your own. You know, Solomon was the wisest person around in his day, and yet he failed to follow his own instruction. He missed out on many of God's blessings, which were passed on to his son instead.

It's always good to review yourself (myself) and be sure of where you are before working on someone else. TC!

Lenny

To me, a difficult person is one who continually invades my space. It's not always the person who is difficult. None of us are completely innocent. I see it as a general test of truth, compassion, and compromise. Difficult people expose our weakness and level of tolerance - it's a test of love and hate.

Speaking of difficult, Sky you can wake me up at anytime.

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SeptemberMorn said:
Far be it from me to tell you whether you are right or wrong.

I just don't agree with you.


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I find disagrement a seed for better understanding so thank you September.

It is seldom an issue of right or wrong to me, it is more an understanding of motives. Every crime(sin) or even difficulty has its source and most are very complex. To view anything from a black and white perspective is a marked disservice to any participant and observer.

In this case,,my perspective is one born from learning to understand that I am wonderfully imperfect. Though living does require a strong sense of good judgement, if my motives are to Love and not to be Loved,,then generally I will be able to see light even in the darkest of moments.

IMHO.

Lenny

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It is seldom an issue of right or wrong to me, it is more an understanding of motives. Every crime(sin) or even difficulty has its source and most are very complex. To view anything from a black and white perspective is a marked disservice to any participant and observer.

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Very interesting, Lenny! The "right or wrong" in people's actions can be subjective, of course. The motivation behind that action, however, IMO, is what makes it right or wrong.

From personal experience, I used to converse in arguments. Probably my upbringing and having to defend myself in one way or the other. Then for 12 years I lived with a very difficult man that hardly ever said anything "nice" to me. He was always putting me, my actions, my words and my thoughts down, telling me I "didn't have the right". That didn't stop me from expressing what I felt but by the end of the 12 years, he had convinced me that I was crazy.

The fact that I conversed in arguments was brought to light by a friend of mine who simply would say "I'm not going to argue with you." That was a wake-up call for me because it was said often enough. I wasn't aware of what I was doing before that time. I'm sure many people have had the same difficulty. Makes me often wonder if these argumentative people are actually aware that their communication with others is "difficult".

Then there are those that are convinced that they have the inside track on a given subject and even life's experiences don't get through to them. They keep their blinders on and refuse to expand their tunnel vision. These are "difficult" people to me because there is no give and take in the relationship. It has to be their way or the highway. There have been relationships in my life, such as my first marriage, that I have devoted a great deal of time to them, but the relationship doesn't grow. My voice and feelings aren't listened to or taken into consideration so I just move away from that person. It feels as if they are continually trying to stick the round peg, me, into a square hole. It feels like I continually beat my head against a brick wall so why do I need to bloody myself? I don't.

I agree that seeing everything as either black or white with no grey areas is a disservice to the persons as well as the relationship. There is only one area of my life that has parts that are either black or white and that is my faith. If the Bible says "Thou shalt not...", well, then, "I shalt not!" The only other people I'm going to quote "Thou shalt not" to are other people that believe or claim to believe the way I do. Why? Because the Bible tells me to. It's like "If you're going to have the name, you'd better play the game!" If you're going to "Talk the talk, you'd better walk the walk". Don't give others with the same belief system a bad name. Ya know?

I hope I haven't sounded preachy because that wasn't my intention. Just trying to let you know where I'm coming from... to understand each other better... and that I mostly agree with your statement?

Kathy, for me to be able to wake up in the morning, I had to train my dog to alert me to the alarm and get me up! So I can get you and Lenny up after Caleb wakes me, OK?

But seriously, getting back to the "wake up call"... it was for the person who hadn't put things together yet? You know, open my eyes to Your love God, show me the way you want me to go?

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SeptemberMorn said:

I hope I haven't sounded preachy because that wasn't my intention.

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Not at all preachy September. Thank you.

It is good to know you a bit better.

Lenny

A person of gentle grace gets respect
A person of roughness and violence doesn't

For the most part, I don't think that people are difficult because they enjoy doing so. I always try to stop and tell myself that people are often difficult to deal with because there is difficulty in their lives. Usually an unhealed hurt or extreme stress. Things like this can cause people to lash out or act out towards others, many times without their even realizing they have done so until it is too late and people begin to avoid them. When in fact what they need is someone to lean on or show them kindness.

When we choose to use that opportunity to show love and kindness, we are allowing God's love to shine through us. So, like I said before, thank God for the difficult people in your life and for using you as a tool to reach out to others that are having a difficult time.

Cynics look high and low for wisdom and never find it;
the open-minded find it right on their doorstep!

I really liked this one, Tomi!

Thank you, Re. It's so true, isn't it?

Source of this is unknown, but I wanted to share it here.

Something beautiful,
Something good;
All my confusion
He understood;

All I had to offer Him
was brokeness and strife,
But He made something beautiful
of my life.
_____________________________________
I thank God for all the love He has shown me!

I might have known! Here's the song with the names of the two people who wrote it. I recognized the words you posted from when my daughter was a teenager.

Thanks so much for finding this! The words really touch my heart in a special way. As it does remind me of where was and where I was headed when I finally gave it all over to God. He took something broken and made it beautiful! I will always be grateful for His many blessings in my life!

Giving it all over to God can certainly turn rags to something beautiful! YOU certainly are!

((((((((((SeptemberMorn))))))))) Thank you so much for that wonderful compliment! You truly touch my heart!