Are We GOOD or EVIL?

Auroralso,

Me neither but if we are left with the feeling of butt-kisser then something needs to change. Don't you think?

Other people are apt to think of us and treat us as we think of and treat ourselves.

Think of the most respected person you know. I bet they don't put up with people thinking they are a butt-kisser.

It's a true saying that we get what we deserve.

We also should not complain about the things we don't like and yet accept from others.

I'm glad you enjoy my armchair wisdom.

Only wish I knew then what I know now.

chaotic13,

Thank you for starting this wonderfully thought provoking thread.

Now please forgive this straight talking woman for any offence she may cause.

I can't see where working to get people to like us is of any use to us. We are like an iceberg with only the top showing, no one knows what goes on beneath the surface. We don't even know ourselves for the most part. We as individuals all have our own agenda. We meet with conflict and harmony on a daily bases. All we can really do is make the decision for ourselves as to whether we are going to be a good person or a bad person. And yes, it is a choice. And once that choice is made and we begin to act upon it others will react towards us accordingly. All we can do in any situation is our very best. If we are doing our best and others still have a problem with us then it is their problem not ours.

As for wanting. There is nothing wrong with 'wanting'. We all want something. Even the most spiritually active people want to pass on their messages to others. The day we stop wanting is the day we die.

As for getting others to care about us and love us. We can't make anyone love us. Love, real love comes from a place deep down inside of us and it takes a very special person to awaken this love in us. Just as it takes a very special connection for us to awaken it in others. Once awakened it takes work to keep it awake - like putting logs on a fire to keep it alight.

I truly believe that a change in perception would help you deal with what you have going on just now. You see it as wrong, even bad, to ask for or seek certain things. I believe it is only natural. Divorce happens because people don't have what the other person needs anymore.

I was married for twenty years to a wonderful man before we agreed to divorce. I was dealing with my stuff and he was a soldier who had been seriously injured twice. We helped and supported each other until we were both exhausted with nothing left to give each other. Life is better for us both today and we are still friends.

It all comes down to how we ask for these things. And we must also be open and willing to give the same amount of attention to other people. It has a lot to do with balance - give and take in equal shares. When we take more than we give, others may begin to see us as too needy. Giving attention to others also takes energy. If we just take we end up leaving the other person exhausted. May I suggest that you put your needs on hold for a day or two and just do for your guy? If you don't see a difference in him and how he treats you I'll sell my computer.

I don't think this is direction I should go.

No problem.

It was just a suggestion.

Hope I didn’t go on too much.

I think the thread went OT for a bit...but made me think, one of the last posts... I think people divorce for the exact same reasons they marry. Generally, a person marries someone for some trait they have (such as being carefree with money, spending it on them while dating...while the self is too thrifty. Later, the spending becomes an issue ... ) see what I mean?

And while I'm off the topic, did anyone read the report/research about women who are on the pill tend to marry someone different than if they weren't on the pill? So does that mean if you find someone you like ...you have to either stay off or on the pill, depending upon when you met them?????

Is that evil?

I TOTALLY believe hormones played a major role in my getting married. Some kind of nesting instinct kicked in or something. LOL

Here is something interesting and related to the concept of internal evil. I recently started reading a book titled Mind of its own by John Lemoncelli. I've only just started the book, but immediately I thought of this thread. He refers to the effects of child abuse as a parasite. I like this metaphor, I can comprehend it. A one point he mentions about "Childern imagine that there is a source of evil within themselves, and continually try to compensate for this evil.". That is totally me. I also think that the way God was presented to me as a child really fed this parasite, instead of giving me a defense or immunity against it. I think I heard a lot about evil and the importance of doing good, and how God is watching.... And not enough about the Divine grace concept.

I think it lies in dealing with the butt-kisser feeling . There are some who don't take things personally. I still do unfortunately. Some of the wisest people stand back and just let a person do and say what they will thats becaue they realize its the other persons problem and not thiers . I guess for every Butt-kisser theres a 'Cheek turner"

well I'll be . So THATS what he meant,

LOL LOL LOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do like your arm chair wisdom.. I truely meant that.

I'm out of time here .

wish I had more.

Patricia

Oh! You are so kind. You can play in my sand pit anytime.