[brackenbeard]

I understand there's a serious genetic component to this illness. The idea of passing my illness onto my kids makes me wary to say the least. If there's a good chance this might happen, and perhaps others can enlighten me on much risk there actually is, then I have a serious problem. I would never wish this upon anyone, let alone spreading it to my kids.

[volatile]

Okay. I've typed this four times because it keeps logging me out so I'm going to be very short.
No one in my family or extended family has any history of mental illness. Environment is a bigger factor than genetics. I highly doubt my kids would develop the illness because I would not ever expose them to the things I was as a child. I would not neglect them or leave them to the wolves like a coward. I also had traumatic things happen to me as a teenager that pushed me over the edge. It wasn't like one day I woke up crazy, there were certain things that happened to me that caused it to happen.

[fishsandwich]

Of course I would have kids if I ever desired them. The genetic link is tenuous at best. It's a complicated process how somebody comes to suffer from mental health problems, and genetics is a small and extremely poorly understood part of that. Not to mention that if people followed the 'genetics' argument, nobody would ever breed as every family carries a genetic predisposition to *something* illness-shaped.

And of course, as so many people on this forum prove, having a MH thingy is not the end of the world. It's possible to be happy and productive regardless.

[Tsunamisurfer]

My concern for my children is less about what genes I would pass on, and more to do with how my behaviour and modelling would affect them. That has to be my biggest regret about where I am now - I can't take back how I have hurt them with my impulsive anger and reclusive tendencies. They need someone who can take the lead in developing their skills and a positive outlook on life. So long as my perceptions of people remain in such disarray, I know what I teach is tragically flawed and giving them a poor grounding for adult life.
I do everything I think I can to be the best dad for them. It is a strong motivator to overcome the negatives of Bipolar and SZA.

If I had known 20 years ago that I would be such a mess at a critical stage of their lives, I may have thought twice about having children.

Thankfully my wife has her head screwed on tight, and provides the strength I can't yet provide them.

[brackenbeard]

thanks guys! this made me feel up, i guess. i'll have to research what this social conditioning means. i always believed there are things like my drinking, and isolating that may have borne this illness.

[Vibe]

I would be seriously concerned about passing on my problems to my kids. There is a strong genetic base for my problems in my family. At least half my family members have some mental health problems and most did not have a bad upbringing.

While I would like to believe that I would be the perfect mom, this is not realistic. Kids are 24/7 and I am not. I would need to take a very harsh look at myself and what I can realistically accomplish 24/7 for the next 20 years before I agreed to raise a child. If I messed up in any way then that environmental trigger would likely solidify the chances of them developing a mental health disorder. It's just too important to take a chance on unless I can be sure.

[JeremyMG2009]

I don't want to have kids but it isn't because of passing it along to them. I just don't think I would make a good parent.

[costello]

Hi bracken: I had a friend who wanted to adopt a little boy whose parents were both diagnosed with sz. She asked if I thought he'd be more prone to sz. I did some research online and found a study in which children with parents dx'd with sz were adopted into stable homes. These children were only slightly more likely to develop sz than adopted children whose parents weren't dx'd with sz. The nurture part is huge.

[costello]

Finnish adoption study of schizophrenia: Implications for family interventions.
By Tienari, Pekka; Wahlberg, Karl-Erik; Wynne, Lyman C.
Families, Systems, & Health, Vol 24(4), 2006, 442-451.

Abstract
The authors have shown that disordered rearing in adoptive families predicted schizophrenia spectrum disorders in adoptees in a 21-year follow-up. However, only the adoptees at genetic high risk showed a significant association between the measure of adoptive family functioning and the adoptee's spectrum diagnosis, other mental disorders, and thought disorders. The same result was found when the subgroup of adoptees with schizophrenia spectrum diagnoses at initial assessment was excluded. These findings indicate, in our view, that adoptees at genetic high risk are more sensitive than adoptees at genetic low risk to both adverse and protective environmental effects in their rearing environments. This adoption study of the schizophrenia spectrum supports the hypothesis of interaction between genotype and environment.

http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=...2006-23216-008

[Raindropvampire]

I am 36 and have made a conscious decision to never have kids. I was raised by a bi-polar mother who was not medicated and refused help. My grandmother raised my mother the same way. It had to stop somewhere. Medication only does so much. How do you explain your bad days to your kids? No matter what you tell them kids internalize things. Your behavior has to be because of them. I just can't justify inflicting my insanity on an innocent child. This is just my experience and opinion. Only YOU can decide whether you should or shouldn't have children

[costello]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Only YOU can decide whether you should or shouldn't have children

I agree. I have a friend who decided not to have children because her own upbringing was so dysfunctional that she felt she just wouldn't make a good parent. She didn't know how to be one. Nothing about genetic conditions that she might pass on - just learned behaviors.

If there's actually a genetic component to sz or sza or other mental illnesses, I don't believe that component is a "disease." I think that people like my son are just more sensitive in some ways, and that sensitivity lays them open to being more badly hurt by traumas. If we could actually convince everyone who has sz to not have children, I don't think we should. There's something uniquely human underlying the vulnerability which becomes sz in some people. We need that quality in the human race. We just need to learn to stop mistreating one another, so we don't traumatize one another.

[insideout]

then i guess you have to ask yourself, am i angry for being brought into this world?

should i have never been born?

well... im sure your parents did not realize they were passing this on...
and what else should you do... just stop living?

stop reproducing??

thats horrendous to think an illness could wipe out the human race because they are afraid to pass it on to their unborn

it's not stopping people with aids....

but what if in the future they find a cure?

i dont know what i SHOULD tell you... i should probably say forget about it and live and have kids etc...

im just not gonna say anything because i ask myself the very same question.

[fishsandwich]

I've been thinking about this question more and more because I've been wanting a child really badly these last few weeks. (I'm not going to have one right now, for various reasons including that I feel far too young and I think sex is disgusting ) But I feel more and more that the messages saying that people with sz or another mental health condition shouldn't reproduce come alarmingly close to eugenics.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

... But I feel more and more that the messages saying that people with sz or another mental health condition shouldn't reproduce come alarmingly close to eugenics.

Yes, there definitely is that issue. I don't support the idea that people with mental health troubles should have their choice taken away from them (be it the right to have and rear children, or the issue of forced medication). Perhaps my sadness about not being as good a parent as I want to be for my kids is selfish to some extent. We are where we are, and I need to do everything I can to give them the best I can.

I took them to the gym today, and wore ear plugs to reduce my stress from the pulsating "music". I wore my reading glasses so I wouldn't see the eyes of people staring at us. The kids had a great time

[Vibe]

I'm not necessarily worried about passing down my disorder to future children. I know that will happen, but I think what I have is the kind of thing one could live with.

But if I thought my life as it was was absolutely horrendous, or if I thought the disease I would pass on would be horrendous, then I would absolutely not give it to my children. For instance, if I had familial fatal insomnia then I would never, ever have children. It would be selfish. And if there was no fatal familial insomnia then the world would be better for it. Call that eugenics if you like, but people will find any excuse they can for getting what they want. Kids involve selflessness, and I will absolutely always take their side over their parents' wants.

My main argument involves being a good parent and how hard that can be. Tsunami - it sounds like you're doing a great job because you do what you have to in order to make sure your kids get everything they need in life. I don't know if I could do that. I would never want my kids to suffer because I couldn't get out of bed, or if I ran off not knowing what was going on and didn't take care of them. I can only imagine how frightening that would be for a child. Unless I knew I could keep my disease at least moderately under control for the next 20 years, I would spare those kids that pain.

[Boorichmond]

I'm not worried about passing anything along.

TL;DR. If anything, having a MH issue gives me more motivation to make sure I would behave properly as a parent & give them the skills they need to look out for themselves, while being supportive of them & not allowing them to live in uncertain circumstances. I'd also know what kinds of signs to look for to see if my child is having symptoms & I now know how to at least help them live alongside it rather than against it...
I'm not sure if genetics are involved, myself. I have long histories of personality disorders & mood disorders on both sides of my family. Still, I'm not sure whether it is the heredity or their damn behaviour/life decisions that had a greater bearing on who I am now.

[Victoria'smom]

I know I'm not sz so ignore if you please. DH and I come from a long line of MI. We knew this. We decided as long as we are pro-active with his health he'd be "fine". We did pass MI to him. However he is generally more happy and healthier than we where as kids. For us our MH team is very important in helping us raise a happy healthy child. If all I manage to do is screw him up differently and show him that there are resources to help that's good enough. I don't expect a dr. or lawyer but I encourage anything he wants to do that still fall under the heading Happy & Healthy. If he chooses not to have children I'm fine with that.

Another option is adoption it's harder with MI but with letters from your MH team you can. best of luck.

[peras]

Originally Posted by brackenbeard

I understand there's a serious genetic component to this illness. The idea of passing my illness onto my kids makes me wary to say the least. If there's a good chance this might happen, and perhaps others can enlighten me on much risk there actually is, then I have a serious problem. I would never wish this upon anyone, let alone spreading it to my kids.

i have bi polar 2 and i have 3 kids one has bi polar and the other has problems 2, if i had known about all this i would not have had kids...

[LostMom3]

My mother was schizophrenic. I remember the bad days and very few memories of good days. If I had known mental illness was genetic, I would have thought twice before having my boys. My middle son,20 now, was diagnosed ADHD at age 5, bipolar at age 10, ocd and odd at age 12. He started hearing voices and believing people were after him when he was 14. I started asking his Pdoc to test for schizophrenia when he told me he was hearing people call his name when no one was home. No one would listen to me. He has been in and out of youth detention centers, jail, and most recently prison. He goes to see a Pdoc this Thursday. I told him to not hide anything, to be total honest with the doctor.

I battle schizophrenia. I have 3 children. My husband is very stable and we have our financial needs met. I am very proud of our children. It is a hard thing to raise a family. With support, a family with a schizophrenic parent can be successful and functional. Every family has it's days. It is a lie to say they don't. If you are not in psychosis, and or violent, it is a wonderful experience to raise children and be part of your own family. They understand you like no other. I am glad I have a family, and that my diagnosis did not disqualify me from this blessing. I hope the best for yall. Sincerely, Glinda

[smilehopeandlive]

Originally Posted by volatile

Okay. I've typed this four times because it keeps logging me out so I'm going to be very short.
No one in my family or extended family has any history of mental illness. Environment is a bigger factor than genetics. I highly doubt my kids would develop the illness because I would not ever expose them to the things I was as a child. I would not neglect them or leave them to the wolves like a coward. I also had traumatic things happen to me as a teenager that pushed me over the edge. It wasn't like one day I woke up crazy, there were certain things that happened to me that caused it to happen.

I agree with volatile....there has never been a fmaily history of MI in my family. MY schizophrenia is what you call as reactive schizophrenia. Environment is a big factor...more than genes..you can have defective genes and if the environment you are in is also bad then boom....you have it... I would have children....and make sure they are not exposed to things that I have endured in my childhood...

[Yammer1993]

Originally Posted by brackenbeard

I understand there's a serious genetic component to this illness. The idea of passing my illness onto my kids makes me wary to say the least. If there's a good chance this might happen, and perhaps others can enlighten me on much risk there actually is, then I have a serious problem. I would never wish this upon anyone, let alone spreading it to my kids.

My son who is now 13 has AUTISM. I feel sorta responsible for his illness because he hears and sees things too. He is now some better but not me. He doesn't like it when I talk outloud to myself. I feel ashamed and don't trust people.

[Dazzle]

I was first diagnosed with bipolar, then schizophrenia, and finally schizoaffective last year. I have a 5 year old son who is happy, outgoing, and is doing well in school. Mental illness runs in my family. Growing up, my mother was depressed constantly, and I felt neglected.
I am very careful about making sure my son gets lots of attention from me. I make sure that we stick to a routine. I schedule everything in my phone and it will ring to remind me to do the most mundane of activities: for example, wake up, take meds, make breakfast, pick son up from bus, do homework, you name it, it is in my phone. For all of the awful sypmtoms we have to deal with all the time, the ring gets me back on track.
I have my son help me whenever possible, I have found he is happy as long as we are doing things together.
When I am depressed, I usually suggest that we watch a movie and I will cuddle with him. Even if I am not “all there” he is never left alone. When I am hearing voices, I will say lets have “quiet time” and he can come in my room with me and either color or read. The important thing is that he knows I am there with him. I never lock my door.
Even if it turns out that my son has mental illness I believe that I am teaching him ways to keep moving forward and not just simply, “check out”. My son is the best thing that ever happened to me and I intend to raise him like the person I wish I could be.
Today I have been depressed, psychotic, and then depressed again about being psychotic.

[brackenbeard]

well i've read some of the responses in this thread, and it seems to be a mixed bag. some people regretted it, and that's enough for me to take... a serious look at this. I think being young I don't have to worry for at least awhile, but if something were to happen (like getting a girl pregnant) I would probably be very unsure of what the future would hold, and possibly distraught.

I think adopting a child would be a safer route, but they say there's nothing like raising your own genetic child.