[JoyDivision7680]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this.

I've been having violent thoughts from quite some time. Sometimes they tell me that killing my father who's snoring would be a great idea, other times I'm suddenly feeling angry on my friends and a desire to argue with them and even destroy them appears, I don't know what to do. I feel like Smeagol from The Lord Of The Rings films. The baddest part is that I almost picked the knife with the intention of killing my father - I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm afraid one day the thoughts will take control and god forbid what might happen.

What do to, what's wrong?

[worthit]

I had an impulse to pick up a knife to kill myself. You have to talk to your Tabout this or your pdoc, it's important to let them know where you stand , where you are because medication can help your frenetic thinking. Good luck and hope you feel better soon

Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

[JoyDivision7680]

Okay, I'll see what I can do, thank you.

[pandarama123456789]

I think I know how you feel. My thoughts have gotten more and more violent lately and it feels like they're turning into something more than just thoughts.. the other day I was watching this person who I knew was homeless and realized I was reaching in my bag for my knife, I felt so horrible and guilty, I could never actually do something like that.. I can't believe that I would ever... I don't have advice, and I'm so sorry for that, I just wanted to say something after reading this because it sounds like how I feel, and I wanted you to know you're not alone... stay strong and I hope peace finds you

[avlady]

I get feelings and thoughts of hurting people if there is a sharp object around, or any dangerous situation, the triggers are the knives, just because i know they could hurt someone and i'm trying to be careful with them. I know i would never do anything in my heart, but it is scarry!!!

[JoyDivision7680]

Thanks both of you for replying. Yes, it really is scarry...My biggest fear is I would get to the point where it will take over and make me do something bad. Thankfully, I can still control myself. Best wishes to you!

[avlady]

That is even a scarrier thought!!!!

[brackenbeard]

if you're dealing with a mental illness. what works for me is to say..

"i have a mental illness, that is a symptom. i am not my mental illness, and it doesn't follow that i would follow through with those thoughts."

it comforts me, and separates me and my illness.

[JoyDivision7680]

Yeah, sort of positive thinking. Sounds good, I'll definitely try it. Thanks!

[DePressMe]

MotherMan, I too have violent thoughts about hurting other people. Usually it's with a gun and sometimes I have thoughts about killing my parents or holding a bunch of people hostage. I no longer have my guns so that helps control my impulses. Maybe you could make sure your knives are put away someplace where you can't see them (unless they are being used.) My meds help me keep my thoughts in perspective. They are thoughts--they are not me--I'm a loving and compassionate person--I'd truly never want to hurt anybody. There is nothing wrong with you, you are struggling with symptoms of a illness............D.

[JoyDivision7680]

Yeah, I tried hiding my knives, but if it's not with knives it's with something else I don't even have, or I'm shown the image of someone I know's dead body. Fortunately, I haven't had a violent thought in over ten days

[avlady]

That's great over 10 years, do you go for therapy or on meds!!!

[JoyDivision7680]

I'm seeing a psychologist, but I haven't told him about this yet. I'm sure he'll give one of those 'it's computer's fault', 'read more, keep your mind busy' or 'socialize' bullcrap...Hell, he's waiting for me to tell him everything that's wrong!