New Check-in SZA Thread.

Blue_Bird · Feb 10, 2015, 04:12 AM

Going to group in a few hours. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist then with my pdoc right after. I hope my doctor figures out a better AP to add to my medicine. I won't touch Seroquel again

spincera · Feb 10, 2015, 04:36 AM

Hopefully, you will have a good group, and your pdoc will help you with a different AP.

spincera · Feb 10, 2015, 04:43 AM

I am nervous about going to sleep and waking up so very tired. As well as having psychotic symptoms that wake me up or happen after I wake up in the night. I don't want to take my Geodon, because of it. I am hearing t.v. sounds and the t.v.s are all turned off. *Sigh* It's like my symptoms take a day off and then come back again. Ugg! Frustrating and scary all at the same time. Sorry for the complaints. I just want to be regulated and symptom-free for a while. I keep telling myself, "Just a little longer." I will see my new psyc nurse in a week and a half. I think I have already said that. Sorry if I did. My memory has been pretty bad lately as well. I'll just try to look at the bright side of things and listen to some good music.

Blue_Bird · Feb 10, 2015, 04:47 AM

You're not complaining, even if you were that would be okay because we can vent here

I understand how hard it is to wait for an appointment, it seems like forever away

Shmooey · Feb 10, 2015, 12:25 PM

spincera, I was on Geodon for a year (gained 60 pounds on the stuff as well). I could never get over the sedation side effect, or maintain a therapeutic dose. I needed 80 mg in the morning and 80 mg at night, but I could NOT function at that dose. There was a room at my job for new mothers where they could breastfeed when they brought their babies in with them. It had a recliner in it, and I found myself spending my lunch hours in there sleeping. All other times, I was working through a thick haze.

My pdoc tried everything as far as dosing. Geodon is meant to be taken twice per day, and he messed around with smaller doses in the morning and larger ones at night, but it caused too much of a problem. My body would be looking for another big dose in the morning but only get a small one, and my symptoms would come roaring back.

I know it's frustrating to read negative stories about your med, just wanted to address your question about whether the tiredness goes away. Mine never did. YMMV. Good luck.

Blue_Bird · Feb 10, 2015, 12:48 PM

Group went well today

spincera · Feb 10, 2015, 02:03 PM

Thank you for the info regarding Geodon. I was on it years ago, but I can't remember what happened except that I used to get panic attacks on it. Other than that I have no clue. I'm not having panic attacks, but I don't like the sleepiness that I think I mentioned earlier.
I did not take it last night, which was probably a mistake. I have been up for over 24 hours and don't know when I will be able to go to sleep. I don't like staying up for so long as it increases my symptoms. So, I do not know why I made the conscious effort to not take that particular med.
My fiance doesn't want me to go manic, because he says that I will crash into a depression. I think I might already be manic and maybe that's why I didn't take my med.

spincera · Feb 10, 2015, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Group went well today

That is great Blue_Bird. I'm glad it went well. I wish I had some type of group to go to. It would be nice to have that extra support.

Blue_Bird · Feb 11, 2015, 03:13 PM

How is everyone doing?

I had two appointments in a row today, with my pdoc then my therapist right after. Both went well, will be starting Zyprexa tomorrow.

Need to get caught up on this weeks school work. I know for sure that I'm passing both my classes, I'm not sure exactly what grade but it's at least a C or above and in the other class I have a high A average

spincera · Feb 11, 2015, 03:17 PM

Good job, Blue_Bird. You are doing very well in school. You have a lot of positive things going on right now, and that is great to hear.
Things are better with me now as well. After being up for 34 hours yesterday, I got some good sleep, and I feel much better today. I"m more upbeat and happy.

falcon09 · Feb 11, 2015, 03:48 PM

Just had my diagnosis changed from Schizophrenia to Schizoaffective, Depressive type. Apparently because I went through a Major Depressive Episode. Don't know if that's good or bad :P

Blue_Bird · Feb 11, 2015, 03:54 PM

Thanks Spincera, and glad you're feeling better

Welcome to the forum Falcon

falcon09 · Feb 11, 2015, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks Spincera, and glad you're feeling better

Welcome to the forum Falcon

Thank you, glad to be here

jaynedough · Feb 12, 2015, 02:09 AM

I've been trying to get better for so long. I'm so tired of this illness. The anhedonia sucks. It feels like my life is getting smaller. The physical and mental illnesses are crushing my soul.

Sorry for being such a downer.

spincera · Feb 12, 2015, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaynedough

I've been trying to get better for so long. I'm so tired of this illness. The anhedonia sucks. It feels like my life is getting smaller. The physical and mental illnesses are crushing my soul.

Sorry for being such a downer.

Jaynedough,
I'm glad you shared. I you have every right to express your feelings. It is how I feel quite often.

worthit · Feb 12, 2015, 10:37 AM

I was so nervous, I had an appointment for a meeting with my boss and her boss. I thought they were going to fire me for only doing 9 hours per week. They asked me a bunch of questions like how do I think the last group went that we just graduated and what do I think could be improved on? And then they said we know that the commute is very difficult for you and would you consider working out of the home? That was a big surprise. I don't think it would be good for me though, but I haven't answered them yet. It would make me too isolated. Although the commute, which is one hour,makes me nervous and really anxious and paranoid. But I think it's all worth it because of the social aspect, because I'm afraid of being around crowds and people. Being isolated would not help my health.

falcon09 · Feb 12, 2015, 01:31 PM

My Pdoc apparently can't decide between Schizoaffective and Schizophrenia for me, lol. I mean I don't care either way, treatment won't be much different and my symptoms won't change just because my diagnosis does. I just like consistency.

Blue_Bird · Feb 12, 2015, 05:49 PM

Before being diagnosed with Schizoaffective I never new that there was a separate diagnosis from Schizophrenia, I always just assumed a lot of people with Schizophrenia, just like with any other mental illness, experienced depression too as comorbid but apparently not.

I should be able to start Zyprexa tomorrow. Hopefully it helps, but I'm really hoping I don't gain more weight. I've already gained a lot on the meds I'm on, I really can't afford to gain another 15lbs which seems to be what people typically gain on it.

jaynedough · Feb 12, 2015, 08:22 PM

I'm dealing with weight gain, too. I've been morbidly obese for a long time. And the past few months have been bad. With the depression being so bad and the other health issues, it's so hard to get up and move. I know Angelique is going through the same thing and has inspired me. But it feels like I'm backsliding. It makes me loathe myself even more. Also, after getting my last power bill, I'm having to rely on the woodstove for heat. It is another thing that overwhelms me. It takes alot of energy to bring in wood, get the fire going and keep it going all evening.

Wanting to end on a positive note... Seeing my T last night lifted me up enough to get through today.

worthit · Feb 12, 2015, 08:32 PM

I just got off of a schizophrenic synonymous call. This is a conference call for schizophrenics as well as related disorders. I'm schizoaffective. It really helps to understand that we deal with these health issues as well as mental health and we are probably stronger for it than most people. Because we deal with a lot on a daily basis.

Angelique67 · Feb 12, 2015, 08:33 PM

You inspire me too, Jayne, more than you know. I've backslided too with the freezing cold in the apartment and all the layers I've been wearing. I've got to do better because I think I'll have to go out to an appointment in March. I'm already panicked just about the prospect of that and I haven't even called yet.

spincera · Feb 12, 2015, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by worthit

I just got off of a schizophrenic synonymous call. This is a conference call for schizophrenics as well as related disorders. I'm schizoaffective. It really helps to understand that we deal with these health issues as well as mental health and we are probably stronger for it than most people. Because we deal with a lot on a daily basis.

Worthit,

I did not know that there was such a resource available. That sounds like it would definitely be helpful. I tried calling a crisis line once due to my symptoms, and they had no clue as to how to help me. I was really frustrated with that call.
I have a lot of anxiety today. Seem to be scared of everything. I am positive mood wise, but just cannot shake the feeling of fear. Everything seems to be out to get me. I have a meeting to go to tonight, and I am scared to go. I cannot cancel because I have a friend going with me, and she has been looking forward to this meeting all week.
I'll write in later about how it went.