[schizoaffective]

Do you ever have a dream in which something terrible happens and then wake up feeling relieved that it's only a dream - but subsequently truly awaken from this secondary state to find that the "dream" is in fact reality?

Losing touch with reality is one of the hallmarks of schizoaffective disorder.

Sometimes, during the course of a normal day, reality seems to change in very subtle ways. Words and figures on a printed page change back and forth several times, sabotaging reference books and timetables and making travel arrangements almost impossible.

It is the mind which is playing tricks of course - but it is really annoying to have to double, triple, quadruple and quintuple check every decision one makes.

Anti-psychotics help - but the problem is still there unfortunately.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I know what you mean. It totally ****ing sucks.

[NanuConfused]

I'll have whole conversations that were just made up, and events that never took place. Makes life so confusing.

[schizoaffective]

The worst part about dreams becoming confused with reality is that sometimes my awakened state (my conscious mind) alternates between twin "realities" whereby each "reality" mistakenly identifies the other as being a dream.

This often results in my doing things twice - thinking that I merely dreamt about doing them the first time. In fact I had really done them.

For example, I once double booked identical return international airline trips (but on different dates) and was put in the embarrassing position of explaining to the airline why I had done it.

Entries in my appointment calendar appear and disappear at will - so writing things down isn't much help. Sometimes I dream I have written them. Sometimes, entries I think I have made in a dream have actually been written in a dream-like reality.

I no longer trust myself to get things right first time, and generally seek advice and confirmation from another person before taking any important steps.

[Hobbit House]

I've done this before too. My current issue is not knowing what are true perceptions and what are false perceptions, when my perceptions could just as well be true. Make sense?
These perceptions I have are never good ones, so it's extremely upsetting (perceived rejections, especially).

[schizoaffective]

Originally Posted by justusryans

I've done this before too. My current issue is not knowing what are true perceptions and what are false perceptions, when my perceptions could just as well be true. Make sense?
These perceptions I have are never good ones, so it's extremely upsetting (perceived rejections, especially).

That is interesting, and reminds me of the long period of my life when I was convinced I was severely mentally ill (mainly because of lengthy manic and depressive episodes and extreme delusions) but never sought treatment because I feared the consequences.

Eventually I reached a different conclusion and judged that I was, and always had been, mentally sound.

However, this created a "catch 22" situation. If I was mentally sound then I had been delusional all along about being mentally ill. Either way I had to admit there was a significant problem, and there was no way of escaping from it - so I went along to see a psychiatrist.

After 6 months of treatment my condition was somewhat stabilised by means of medication - but I still have issues with reality, and certainly don't take things at face value any more.

True and false. False and true. Chopping and changing from one day to the next.

If I were a delusional conspiracy theorist, I would swear that some hidden force was screwing around with reality - perhaps time-engineers from the future, micro-managing elements of their past in order to protect or enhance their future existence.

But of course I realise that (probably) this is just a result of the psychosis.