[_C2_]

The conflict I have is with myself. On one hand my moods make it extremely difficult to even move. I get tired and down and anxious and my entire body aches and what I want to do physically is lie down and stare off into space forever.

On the other hand, in my mind there are things I want to do. I want to write, read, play video games, learn a language, play with my dog, work on my ebay etc etc. but I can't. So this leaves me with a conflict within myself and it causes me anxiety and anger and I can't help my moods though they are a ton better than when I was off meds I still struggle with this.

I want to do things, a lot of things. I can barely put on a tv show or browse the internet because I'm constantly feeling an overwhelming feeling of mixed emotions/torture.

[CANDC]

I have developed a routine that helps me get started. Healthy high protein low carb breakfast, yoga and exercises for 1/2 and hour (see youtube.com then search adrienne yoga complete beginners)

I have a to do list. I prioritize what I want to do today. I break it down into bite size chunks.

I eat healthy high protein low carb snacks or meals every 3-4 hours. If I don't brain haze happens. Eat some good food and it goes away.

If it is a work day then that is in the schedule. I might get a food reward or a computer online reward if I achieve one of my goals for the day or even work on it.

Weekends or days I do not work have been creative oasis for writing or music or drawing.

I love Nature by PBS and other nature shows.

[insilence]

i make music, play games, fight the lie inside my mind..when they speak i shut them up using techniques ive developed.

_C2_,
i relate a lot to what are you saying! there are so many things i want to do, however i have like, no motivation and that angers the crap out of me because i want to so badly prove to myself that i can do anything i want to do. my moods are weird, because they last for so long in either mania or depression. i just got out of a 5 year depression cycle and it was insane. it was really freaking hard, all i did is what you are saying you are doing, i would sit and just stare into space and think about how much of a lame *** i was. then there was the crying, god. did i hate the crying...

anyway, what helped me is i knew i had to get out of that damn bed. wash the dishes or do something - anything, to feel productive. even if it was to line the shoes up. so at least i could feel some sort of accomplishment. you said you wanted to learn a new language, do you have a smartphone? with the android market perhaps? maybe while you are lying in bed you can download the duolingo app, that is what i did in a down cycle and i re-learned french! this also helped me get out of a depression as i felt like i was completing goals i had set for myself.

right now, i am trying to find motivation to complete my GED, so i can start college. i want more than anything to fill my mind with knowledge. i feel stupid - even though i KNOW i am not. still can't decided if i want to start an LVN program or go ahead with mortuary science. but i know first i need to get my GED. bleh.

[jaynedough]

I struggle with this, too. It doesn't help that the space heater is in my bedroom and, unless I can muster the energy to build a fire in the woodstove, the rest of the house is in the 50's and sometimes even lower.

One thing that's helping me stay out of bed is my addiction to the solitaire app on my handheld device. I can distract myself for a long time. It's helping me strengthen my back muscles that have become accustomed to the prone position. I don't look at what all needs to be done when I'm playing solitaire so I don't get overwhelmed and go right back to bed.

I need to have some type of distraction to keep the bad stuff at bay. I can't concentrate much on most TV shows. I like the home shows and TLC shows b/c I don't have to follow the whole thing.

I totally forget most stuff when I'm out taking photos. The problem is that it's really hard for me to get up the energy.

Breaking things down into smaller, individual tasks doesn't help me. I have trouble focusing on something and usually end up getting frustrated and overwhelmed.

[Shmooey]

I physically lie down and stare into space forever.

I've been on short term disability through my employer since January 12 and I am not doing much better than when I started.

I sleep at 8:30 p.m. until noon the next day (wake up around 8 am. to take some of my meds then go back down again).

Shower every other day, eat lunch, watch Days of Our Lives, Hot Bench, and sometimes People's Court (and often staring at the ceiling) before heading back upstairs around 3:30 or 4.

Listen to Christian radio with my cat until around 6:30 (while staring at the ceiling), then go make dinner and spend some time with my husband who is now home from work. (He works retail so doesn't have a consistent schedule).

I have to watch how many words I let into my day. I have a thing about too many words, so it influences how much TV I watch. I prefer my Christian radio.

But yeah, I do a lot of staring at the ceiling fighting off symptoms and trying to get the motivation my illness zaps from me.

[Blue_Bird]

I read, play games, browse the internet, do my college class coursework, exercise, shower, watch T.V, do some kind of arts and crafts, play with my cats. That's pretty much how everyday goes except for Sundays, that's my rest day. I feel very stable

[ladisputelover]

I wake up around seven to take my meds then go back to sleep until about two. I shower every other day, after I wake up I do homework for a few hours, eat lunch somewhere in there, by about 6 I eat dinner and then go to my room and watch tv or surf the Internet. At 10 I take my meds and play on my phone or watch tv until I fall asleep around 1 ish. Then repeat. I go to school on Mondays from 8-12. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays I have my IOP group; every other Wednesday I have individual therapy and every other Friday I have a different group. That's my life.

[chasms]

wake up feeling pretty bad. if i have school i go to school. get on the computer. do homework if i have it. eat. play with my pets. watch my tv show if it is on. take a shower before bed. go to group if it is tuesday. see my dr's ever 2 weeks. have a constant war inside of my head that. go to bed feeling horrible. then the cycle of nothingness continues!