[Deilla]

I had a small win today. I'll take it. I got dressed and left the house to pick up medication. It was pretty outside. I even went for a little drive. I could see that the blossoms will be here soon. It's so nice. Long term, I need a job. I am trying to find one. It's so hard. I'm trying to stay hopeful.

[MuddyBoots]

I can't tell if I'm on the hypomanic side or not. Symptoms or super powers am I right?

[WastingAsparagus]

Just listening to music right now. I am doing fine. I just had a therapy appointment with a new therapist. It was good. Trying to figure out this whole schizoaffective thing. I have been having anxiety lately.

[Deilla]

I got the job, or I was told that I'll be hired in a month. That's when the project starts. So I'm excited!

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I got the job, or I was told that I'll be hired in a month. That's when the project starts. So I'm excited!

Congratulations!

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Very difficult today.

How are you doing now @Breaking Dawn?

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

How are you doing now @Breaking Dawn?

I'm doing ok. Thank you. How are you doing?

[MuddyBoots]

Feeling slightly steadier today

[Brego]

I was wondering if anyone knew the science behind why the voices are mean and derogatory. I wonder all the time what this whole mental illness means about me. Why in the world does it even portray itself like that? Strangely I think it’s worth the medicine now. I went through some time when I thought medicine was not the thing. Never mind to that! But back to the voices, is it normal to see it like imagination? I hallucinate people commenting on the things I do. I hallucinate as if it were said like a thought to me. Is that an intrusive thought?

[Breaking Dawn]

@Brego, I also wonder. It doesn't make sense to me why my own brain would want to hurt me. My voices have been horribly mean & I pray to even my neurons to help me. I'm not currently on any meds. I'm scared of some of the risky & bad side effects.

[Deilla]

I'm not doing well today. I don't think I'm getting the help I need in therapy. I'm quitting. It's a waste of money. I give up. This was the best therapist I could find and she's terrible. They're all pretty bad.

[WastingAsparagus]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm not doing well today. I don't think I'm getting the help I need in therapy. I'm quitting. It's a waste of money. I give up. This was the best therapist I could find and she's terrible. They're all pretty bad.

I hope you're doing okay today!

[Deilla]

I feel sad and disappointed. I'm in bad shape and it will be another day before things get better. I've been crying and crying. I tried talking to people but no one is available.

[Brego]

I was crying all week leading up to my time of the month. Surprisingly I didn’t get more weepy, but I did sink into my couch in a sad mood. I am judging if I want to tan etc. go shopping with my Mom or online shop and what to do with makeup. Also, what to do with my hair and if I want to exercise and if so what I want to do. I feel like a self-care and introspection run.

[Deilla]

Today has been a bad day except for my med appointment. That's the only person that talked to me today. She listened and encouraged me. Everyone else was grumpy and rude. I deserve better treatment. I don't care how **** your life is. No reason to take that crap out on other people.

[Breaking Dawn]

It seems like the voices have been nicer parts of the time recently. I hope so much it's a sign we might become like friends & have a happy future.

[Deilla]

I woke up in the middle of the night. I have been up posting in my therapy room. I was panicking about my new job. I didn't start feeling better until I took some Klonopin. I'm listening to ocean sounds right now. It's helping to calm me down. I'm trying to be hopeful.

[SlumberKitty]

Started a new medicine Lybalvi. Dry mouth and dissociation seem to be the side effects so far. It's Olanzapine and something.

[Brego]

Got my Invega injection today!!! I have an appointment for a physical in early April at our primary care physician. Feeling rather good about myself. On my app for that doctor, it says previous conditions. These are listed: Schizoaffective disorder, manic type, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Hyponatremia, and Dyslipidemia. I am going to work on my health, maybe exercise regularly and eat 3 small meals with fruits and veggies as snacks.

[Brego]

In this past hour or so, I have experienced a realistic view of contentment and being at ease. It's amazing what the medication changes and additions/subtractions can do. The injection of Invega was only four days ago. My blessings are growing day by day, and to add to it I am going put the effort into well-being I need just to cope with my chaos. I will put blood, sweat, and tears into living the way I am meant to and even more. I can and will add up what it takes to become the woman I was born to be with more zeal, poetry, and clarity than ever before. This is going to become the promise I make, not saving my virginity for my future husband on our wedding night before I ever met him. There is more to contemplate about and perfecting the way that I wish to state this is huge to me. Thank God I got LibreOffice. Thank God I downloaded Evernote. I won't have to break my wrists writing this down over and over until it is finished like a paper what I want to have perfect talking points about.

[MuddyBoots]

I've been having paranoid thoughts creep in every now and then. I took a thorazine yesterday and it seemed to help.

[Breaking Dawn]

The only drug that ever did actually help me was thorazine. But I'm afraid to ask for it because the internet said warnings. I wish I could find out that thorazine is ok & I might get normal again.

[MuddyBoots]

The thing about thorazine is it's an older med with a lot of side effects that are different from the side effects of the newer antipsychotics (some may say worse but imo they're just different). I take it on a PRN basis to avoid any side effects. If I take too much for too long I get muscle spasms, but that's at my max dose which I never take. Ask your med provider, if it works and nothing else does you just gotta roll with it.

[WastingAsparagus]

Noticed I haven't posted here in a while. I find my moods to have taken a turn for the worse lately but I am better today.

[Brego]

I’m believable now and might start a “Schizoaffective Success Stories” thread. My new outlook should be recognized, yet I wait to see if there is more. I should probably get a job. Hate left the window and so did cigarettes. My worrisome thinking is becoming like I can stand it. And I believe I can handle this life. My parents are a big factor in the whole thing, and I couldn’t be in the good place I am without their belief in me.

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