[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Deilla I hope you feel better soon so you don't have to go to the hospital.

Possible trigger:

my first hospitalization was two years ago on the 25th of January and so all that was playing on the news was the death of Kobe Bryant so when they play it on the news this past couple of days like, oh it's the two year anniversary, it takes me right back to when I was in the hospital.

[Deilla]

Thanks! I got some new medication. One is Ambien. It's not working.

[Breaking Dawn]

Not doing very well.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Deilla

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Breaking Dawn

[MuddyBoots]

I'm going to try and go without my Haldol injection. I will still take valium for sleep and PRN Thorazine (which has a lot more tolerable side effects for me than Haldol though I am still taking a risk due to it's anticholinergic effects and having a recent history of urinary retention so I will keep it to PRN use). I'm supposed to get the injection in exactly a week and I'm already feeling it's effects wear off. I've noticed the meds that are supposed to last 4 weeks (Invega Sustenna, Abilify Maintenna) last 3 weeks, and Risperdal Consta lasted more like 10 days instead of two weeks so this is pretty typical, at least for me.

I feel like I'm doing really well for the first time in a while. I don't feel manic, depressed, paranoid, or anything intense really. Maybe anxious but I have had two cups of coffee today which is a lot for me considering I haven't had any caffeinated beverages in a couple months.

[bpforever1]

Well, I'm going back to the good ole USA for good this time. I quit my job for personal reasons. I want to return home to become a peer counselor then return to school and become a medical interpreter for the deaf. Well, this all seems easier said than done since I'm still in another country. I want to return home soon. I realized my life here is limited. I could not get ahead financially since I am paying exorbitant taxes. I had an ok time. I liked my job but the hours were horrendous and the pay abysmal. So, I did not renew my contract and am heading home soon once I can get a plane ticket and also make sure I don't get sick with covid-19. At least, I am not ill. I was becoming ill since I could not sleep but I slept for about two days and am fine now. I was really unhappy working in the wee hours in the morning then working at nights as well. The good thing is that I built up my confidence while working. I did a great job and it makes me feel good about myself. I know I can do things if I set my mind to them. I am happy to have had the experience here but don't want to work at a low-paying job that only puts me in a situation where I'm working to pay high taxes. I did not really enjoy myself here since all I did was work mostly. I miss my mother who is sick and my family as well. I realized no matter what nobody is an island. I am feeling ok about my situation. Life has not been bad despite the current pandemic. I did ok given the circumstances. I am stable mentally and have one more appointment with the psychdoc here before I go home. I am really looking to going home for good. I have NO interest in making a living here again. America is my home country. Although there are bad things about the USA, it is home for me. At least, there are opportunities in America for the elderly like me although limited. Also, my family is there.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, @bpforever1! What an adventure you had! Wow. And so many interesting memories to treasure. And my goodness, you are so smart! And brave! Tell us more about your trip back home, ok? Good luck with everything!

[MuddyBoots]

Copacetic chaos.

[bpforever1]

The sad news is I believe my mother and father have dementia. My mother is so combative and my father can't talk about anything too serious. I don't know why my brother has not gotten them diagnosed yet by doctors. I will try my best to carry on. It is hard. I just want to sleep forever and forget about it.

[bpforever1]

I give up! My parents don't want me to come home. I think they don't want me to bother them anymore. I'm actually stranded out here without a job. So, I'm looking for another one. I wanted to help them but they ignore my calls or shout at me. I think I'm better off without them actually. I'm disabled and have to work. I'm looking for something better this time and will not give in to bad working situations anymore. I feel stressed out and sad. They temporarily ruined my life and they just want to dispose of me.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @bpforever1

[bpforever1]

I'm trying my best to survive. Each time I ask my brother to arrange to buy me a ticket to go home, he answers by saying he needs permission from my mother. What the heck does that mean? So, he is of no help. I am giving up on them. I don't know if I can find another job here or not. It is stressful for me to be without a job and find another one. I am so depressed. I sleep a lot now but feel unhappy still. I hope to survive no matter what. I guess, my parents can't deal with their situation and mine anymore. But, I don't want to give up on myself. I feel so sad. But, I just need to find another job- easier said than done. I feel crushed but will persevere again. What else can I do?

[Brego]

My hair...I want it grown out. I seemed to have forgotten that I never liked my hair. This will be so good for my confidence and self-esteem. I am working on the path I should take in life. Or the path that fits the entire bill. Or the path that seems most like myself. My head in the clouds is just about come down.

[bpforever1]

I'm hanging in there!! I have an interview and will do my best. Thank you all for your support!

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been discussing things with the voices. Too much hurt & harm. I keep hoping & wishing.

[bpforever1]

Breaking Dawn,

Please hang in there!! I say, we must all hang in there despite our difficulties. Yes, some of us have it worse. I receive much confidence from you! So, I'm sending you love and hugs your way too!!

[Breaking Dawn]

Thank you, @bpforever1. God bless you.

[bpforever1]

I'm taking it easy until my interview. I feel calm and rested but nervous still. I know this too shall pass. I feel blessed about being free. I am also blessed for having good medication. My doctor said to return sooner to the clinic if I have any problems. So far, I am hanging in there. I feel really grateful for my situation and what I have. I feel I will be ok whatever the outcome of the interview is. I think I see a rainbow after the storm. I am thankful for the support I receive here. I know I can take more medication if I feel too stressed also. But, so far, I am doing ok.

[bpforever1]

Thank you everybody for your support!! I got the job tentatively and still need to sign the contract. I feel overjoyed and am overwhelmed with emotion. I really appreciate your blessings. I think I've found my rainbow!

[bpforever1]

Now, I must work starting tomorrow. I just signed the contract today. I feel excited and am really looking forward to being busy again!!! Thank you so much!! I was sad but now am happy. Life threw me some lemons and I made the best lemonade I can make. I almost gave into my parents' cruelty and almost lost it all. So, I am now uplifted and ready to rumble!! I was mad at them but this opportunity I received has been the best one I have ever gotten. So, if people try to drag you down, don't succumb. Be proud of who you are, don't give in. Take the path that is not beaten and the one that is not taken by all, then you will find your rainbow. Blessings and Cheers!!

[Breaking Dawn]

You actually are a rainbow, @bpforever1! Thank you so much for all that you have given to us. It's so wonderful to learn this great news & to know you'll be ok now.

[SlumberKitty]

Great news @bpforever1

[MuddyBoots]

I've been taking my as needed thorazine the past couple days. I hope I'm able to be honest with my new NP tomorrow even though it'll be my first appointment with her and no trust has been built yet.

[Breaking Dawn]

Very difficult today.