Wow is that a tumbleweed?

Sarcasm aside, looks almost certain now that I have this. It'd be nice if the pdoc just outright says "You have Schizoid PD" instead of me having to not only ask but get an answer with no certainty in it whatsoever. But I've had psychosis problems in the past, with little blips every here and there more recently which seem to have disappeared on the AP they've given me. I'm going to ask my psychologist in a couple weeks but I have a feeling I had a case of psychosis for at least 4 years with mild stuff since childhood and the SPD came in once the psychotic episode started to fade. Is that normal? I mean there were some indications of SPD since I started teenage years of varying degrees but it only truly became SPD after the episode I had started to fade out.

Schizoid: "Some people with schizoid personality features may occasionally experience instances of brief reactive psychosis when under stress."

Schizotypal: "Occasional transient quasi-psychotic episodes with intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations and delusion-like ideas, usually occurring without external provocation."

Hmm yeah that's the thing, 4 years of psychosis doesn't mesh well with that and it wasn't just under stress. So it wasn't brief or transient at all. So that's what makes me confused.

Btw thank you for responding, I honestly wasn't expecting any responses seeing how these parts aren't very visited.

Could it be schizophrenia and now the positive symptoms (hallucinations, delusions) are controlled with meds only the negative symptoms are left (flat affect, poverty of speech, inability to experience pleasure, lack of desire to form relationships, and lack of motivation)? The negative symptoms of schizophrenia are basically the same as schizoid personality from what I understand, which is why schizoid is on the "schizophrenia spectrum".

I thought schizoid-like symptoms (negative symptoms of schizophrenia) with prominent hallucinations/delusions (positive symptoms of schizophrenia) would be considered schizophrenia? I'm not saying your psych is wrong, obviously he's more qualified and knows more about your situation...

I actually just got discharged from my pDoc because I'm stable now (not functional, just stable). I don't think he ever understood how deep my delusions were and how much it affected me, not sure he cared. He's got an amazing reputation and all but I just never saw him... it was mostly my nurse I talked to and she didn't ask much about it. To be honest I thought schizophrenia too, looked closer to what I have. But maybe now I'll never know for sure, which worries me a lot because if I do have it, the treatment I'll need and resources to get better will be completely different than what's happening right now (well... they do have me on an anti-psychotic but for how long will they let me stay on it I don't know). But for other things too, not just the medication. Like, will I be able to work again? Will I be able to go back to school? And what if I get caught back up into a delusion or start hallucinating I won't have any idea and have no safety nets either. That kind of thing, it just really bothers me. And I can be so, so bad at communicating these things, I think this has been the best I've been able to before, it's weird.

If the primary issue was delusions and not hallucinations that could open up more possibilities maybe.

I have read a lot about Schizoid Personality Disorder and as far as I know it's not associated with delusions in a meaningful way. Do you have the other Schizoid traits like blunted/flat affect, difficulty and low desire in regards to connecting with others, low motivation, prefer being alone, feel very little pleasure from anything, etc?

Schizotypal PD is more prone to magical thinking, outlandish ideas and paranoid thinking than Schizoid... it is definitely Schizoid PD and not Schizotypal PD that he diagnosed you with? Sorry if that sounds rude, I'm not accusing you of being wrong - it's just that people mix them up all the time and delusions seem much more relatable to Schizotypal... Schizoids are more know for being super-logical.

Even if it was schizophrenia I don't think it gets worse over time if you stay on meds but I could be wrong. There is a lot of good information online, wikipedia is a good place to start.

Atypical anitpsychotics are used to treat Schizoid PD, but it's only to help with the negative symptoms of flat affect, anhedonia, etc. since delusions are not part of schizoid PD. I also understand that schizophrenia usually has bizarre delusions. From wikipedia:

Bizarre delusion: A delusion that is very strange and completely implausible; an example of a bizarre delusion would be that aliens have removed the reporting person's brain.
Non-bizarre delusion: A delusion that, though false, is at least possible, e.g., the affected person mistakenly believes that he is under constant police surveillance.

Someone with schizophrenia would be more likely to have very outlandish delusions involving aliens, secret societies, evil robots, thinking they are Abraham Lincoln, etc. Paranoid ideas that are at least conceivable like someone trying to poison you or friends/family/coworkers conspiring against you would not be as much of a concern for being schizophrenic I think.

Next time you go to see him consider writing something out beforehand to let him read. Reading a few pages will only take him like 3 minutes - it's more effective for me because I am not very articulate at explaining things on the spot.

All of the above, and to quite a degree.

I'm 100% sure it was Schizoid. I could see those two getting easily confused too. I feel like a Schizoid with positive symptoms, at this point of time, but before the main delusions went away, I'd have said more of Schizotypal at least or maybe even Schizophrenia.

This is actually pretty reassuring. I'll just have to make sure that I can stay on Latuda then, because it seems to really work. I'll have to do the homework, I think it would be helpful at this point.
It'd be hard for me to say if they were bizarre or not. To me they seemed not bizarre at all of course, I completely believed them the way I believed trees have green leaves. I believed I was a powerful being and like a special prophet sent by God to earth. I believed I could heal people (I had many visions of this playing like a tape in my head) and I was convinced that demons were targeting me. They attacked me in my dreams, and I could sometimes feel them when I was awake. I could feel them in certain buildings I went into, and had the power to sense the owners of buildings as whether they could be trusted or not etc. That was the core of it, really. There was more like how the TV would attack and try to implant powers into my mind (that was from the corporation who always followed me with cameras and spyware most likely which affected my social life 100% of the time, actually since I was a kid). I only heard a demon speak to me once for several minutes so not much for hallucinations.

I've never met with this psychologist but I think I'll give her a bit of what I've written here. That's a good idea, I don't know why I never did that before. I think it will help a lot because like you said, it's hard to say it on the spot.

I am really not an expert of course, but that sounds like it could be schizophrenia to me... maybe posting on a schizophrenia board could help get you more advice/answers. Also there are waaay more active schizoid forums elsewhere. Either way, glad the meds are helping. Maybe he thought you were Schizoid and accidentally has treated your delusions with meds meant to help the negative symptoms of Schizoid PD - tricked himself into the correct treatment, haha. Good luck, been nice posting with ya.

Thanks! I'm going to try getting a second opionon then for sure. I appreciate all your help with this eh! Really do! I think that's probably what happened with the meds haha. It just so happened to work out somehow! Again thanks a bunch

Any time. Just remember that I'm not an expert of any kind - just a crazy person who took abnormal psychology and likes to read about mental disorders, haha. But I have thought a lot about whether I'm schizoid so have researched it a lot and I know for sure Schizoid PD has no complex, ongoing delusions involved. But there are things like delusional disorder, schizophreniform disorder, Bipolar Disorder can cause psychosis, especially delusions of grandeur when manic like you have special powers or are god-like. But you would know if you were BPI because the mania and depression cycles would be noticeable to you.

Schizoids are known to often have rich fantasy worlds as a kind of escape from reality, but I think they don't have trouble separating the fantasy world from reality generally. Some experts think that Schizoid PD can develop into schizophrenia I think, like people with SPD are more prone to develop schizophrenia, but I don't if that's proven really.

Schizophrenia would most likely onset from 18-25, I think schizophrenia symptoms before that are pretty rare and almost unheard of before 10 or 11 (you did say you had delusion issues when you were a kid right?). Plus you did mention that your delusions largely went away on their own... like you were very delusional then mostly came back to reality without meds or anything and from then on only have minor bouts of delusional thinking. That seems odd for Schizophrenia from what I know, because I think there's very little chance of it improving on it's own like that - like you can't just "get it together" to that degree without being medicated. If anything I think a schizophrenic would be prone to go deeper into their delusions the longer time went on without being medicated.

But then again what do I know Definitely go on a more active schizoid forum and/or a schizophrenia forum and research on your own. I'm pretty schizoid-ish but I'm not so sure I have schizoid PD even though I have flat affect, can't related to people and all of that. Only thing I know for sure is that I'm crazy and can barely function

Psychology is quite fascinating I find too. Not sure why, but it's just all very interesting.

At least to some degree, I think I was delusional. I had people watching me outside my window and cameras watching me since I was 6. Now that I think of it, I also had visions for a while. A voice told me how to position myself (I was oh, say 11) and then another being would appear in my mind and tell me all sorts of wisdom. By the time I was 13 it'd grown to an organization who was after my powers and intelligence and they also setup spyware on my computer. I was always being watched by them, I had to monitor my every word and movement just about, I was performing for them in a way. But I was very suspicious it was all moot because they probably could look into my mind too. Sometimes I found myself monitoring how I even thought because they might be watching. (also why I never told anyone this) Then when I was 16 it grew to what I was telling you about before. And you're right, it did just all evaporate, slowly, over a few months to a year, but it did. Then it took another year or two for me to gain any insight and suddenly my whole life has been a lie lol :/ I've only recently started taking the AP so... yeah didn't know that was all uncommon.

This has really helped me get my thoughts out somehow. I was able to compile some of the things I wrote and printed it out. I'm going to show it to my therapist on tuesday and see what she thinks... actually I'm a bit nervous to show her because she's a Christian and some of the areas are, well, religious in a way...
I'm already on a schizoid site, but I'm going to explore a forum more schizophrenia-centric, see how things pan out.

Man... that is quite a life story! It seems really positive that you largely came back to reality on your own in your teens. I don't think a schizophrenic would be able to do that... like age and experience wouldn't give them the wisdom to start letting it go. Maybe childhood trauma (currently remembered or not) that forced retreat into fantasy to escape reality? Just a stab in the dark from an armchair psychologist

Psych is so interesting because the human mind is truly the final frontier!!

I'm glad it's been helpful for you to type it out and I wouldn't worry at all about your psych and the Christian thing. I wouldn't hold anything back from her for fear of offending her - she will be able to tell you're just being honest and don't mean disrespect. I am a really "guarded" person (to say the least) and I have trouble with not fully opening myself up to therapists and psychiatrists (and also with avoiding them entirely)... it is always counter-productive to hold back in my experience. And frankly, a good therapist would leave their religion at the door when it comes to this kind of thing - assuming you're not just being blatantly insulting in an attempt to offend them I guess, but you don't seem like the type that would come off that way

So I ended up sharing it with my therapist and she said it was too bad no one caught onto it when I was younger and that it was strange that it changed the way it did when I was 21 that usually it keeps going, just like you said. She wasn't offended or anything that I was worried about. I have a one-time meeting with a psychologist coming up, probably shortly and I'll ask her about it then.

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Glad it went well! Let me know how your meeting with the psych goes if you feel like posting an update.

Thanks I'll be sure to post something then!

Well I met with the psychologist on Thursday. Unfortunately there was no time to talk with her about this at all. I really wanted to but she said there was another client waiting so I just didn't get the chance. So now no psychologist and no psychiatrist. If I'm lucky, on Monday my doctor will refer me to a regular psychiatrist (vs an urgent care one) as this actually will concern how I'm treated or not so it's more than just curiosity that sends me. As it stands, I'm not functional, so something isn't right.

That sucks you didn't get a chance to talk about it... seems like it will be better with a non-urgent-care psych though.

When you see your doctor don't take no for an answer!! I tend to down-play things too but if you let him/her know the real deal they will give you the referral. It sounds like you just need to be honest but ham it up a little if you have too - don't let the system make you fall into the cracks because you don't deserve it - you need to see a psych and let them know as much

Actually I implied you had to exaggerate it - I don't think you have to do that. Just let him/her know the deal and they will have to give you a referral.

Heh, I didn't even have to ask. My Dr. gave me two referrals, one to the pdoc and one to the urgent care that this pdoc also works for to get me in faster (his waiting list can be... amazing apparently). Unlikely I'll actually be seeing him for several months though, just a nurse.

Nice! I guess that's the price of socialized healthcare... but at least you will get help and don't have to pay $300/mo. for health insurance like here in the US. The healthcare here is great if you have unlimited funds

Take care, friend, and good luck