[PaulsonLaw]

Yes, I'm 28 & a "functional schizo." Not by choice as I would rather not exist 70% of the time. It was real real bad in for about 5yrs round my 20's. Hasn't gotten better but understanding & control are great tools, more so than any meds as I haven't been on them in years.

So the main issue, among many, is the thought that "someone" can read & hear my thoughts. It use to be that that "someone" could put thoughts into my head but has gotten way out of control last 6months on someone hearing my thoughts. I feel I have lost the last piece of freedom I had. It is so bad that even correct what I am thinking fearing that they will know.

Life has been hard enough to stay around & I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I am a prisoner in my own mind.

No question, just wanted to state that. Thanks for reading it.

[MickG]

I wish I could offer you some form of peace from this. I have nothing to give you except to say I know this place. It is hard as hell to edit every last thought for some stupid fear that "they" might find out just how foul I am when the truth is I am not that foul at all. I don't know how I cope I just do. We don't have the luxury of the illusion of privacy that others have.

Thanks for posting this. Take care. I do wish you the very best.

[Shoe]

Originally Posted by PaulsonLaw

Yes, I'm 28 & a "functional schizo." Not by choice as I would rather not exist 70% of the time. It was real real bad in for about 5yrs round my 20's. Hasn't gotten better but understanding & control are great tools, more so than any meds as I haven't been on them in years.

So the main issue, among many, is the thought that "someone" can read & hear my thoughts. It use to be that that "someone" could put thoughts into my head but has gotten way out of control last 6months on someone hearing my thoughts. I feel I have lost the last piece of freedom I had. It is so bad that even correct what I am thinking fearing that they will know.

Life has been hard enough to stay around & I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I am a prisoner in my own mind.

No question, just wanted to state that. Thanks for reading it.

Hey Paulson,
My life was a real struggle when I was in my 20's with a psychotic break every year or two. When I reached thirty they stopped. Sounds like you are slowly starting to get a handle on things that were bothering you before. I wouldn't worry about the thought transference thing. I think to some degree it is possible anyway if you read Dean Radin's Entangled Minds

http://www.amazon.com/Entangled-Mind.../dp/1416516778

I remember reading in that book that the profession that is least accepting of PSI type stuff are those in the field of psychology.
My advice to you is just accept to a certain extend thought that transference has some validity and try and leave it at that. We need healthy autonomy but on a higher level we are all interconnected.
There is a formula Pain X Resistance = Suffering. The key is to try and take the resistance out of the equation.

I hope this has helped some, Shoe

[SpottedOwl]

(((PaulsonLaw)))

Even *if* they can hear all those horrible thoughts inside, I believe they will still see that underneath the fear and the doubt and the pain is a beautiful human soul.

Every human has what they call a 'shadow side'. Most of us are just not quite as aware of it, and some never acknowledge it. In that sense, you are much more aware than most of us.

I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling. Please just accept my support...even if my words don't help.

[jrh5r87]

I would recommend seeing a therapist and getting on some type of psychotropic drug. I know you may not want to, but in all reality, it is probably better than not being on one. Also, a great read that you can probably relate to, is Elyn Saks's The Center Cannot Hold.

[Shoe]

Originally Posted by SpottedOwl

(((PaulsonLaw)))

Even *if* they can hear all those horrible thoughts inside, I believe they will still see that underneath the fear and the doubt and the pain is a beautiful human soul.

Every human has what they call a 'shadow side'. Most of us are just not quite as aware of it, and some never acknowledge it. In that sense, you are much more aware than most of us.

I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling. Please just accept my support...even if my words don't help.

Some very good advice SpottedOwl. Jung wrote about the importance of owning one's own shadow. I recently came across this website and ordered the book a few days ago.
http://theshadoweffect.com/
Robert Johnson wrote a great little book also.
http://www.amazon.com/Owning-Your-Ow.../dp/0062507540
Just take it slow Paulson and everyone else and see if you can find a good therapist to work with. John Nash got better also so hang in there.

Hope that this has helped some, Shoe