I'm beginning to think my son hates me

I agree, definitely not enough social interaction.
Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you; has you're son gained much wt. since he's been on Zyprexa?

Gosh, I've been talking to his brother about this for 6 yrs. His brother has a lot of growing up to do.
Those are good ideas. I think Ill do the photos. We always enjoy looking at photos and haven't done that in a while. I think I'll make him his own personel scrapbook...although, that may take me sometime. Maybe I'll buy him shoes that he wants.
Thanks for caring.

thats ok, im sorry your in this difficult situation.
Xxxx

He may have gained a little, but he's still underweight. I don't remember if I was active on this forum when he lost so much weight last year. He dropped rapidly from about 146 to 116 over the period of a few months. (I was quite alarmed at the time, because I hadn't seen him for a while, so it was shocking to see him suddenly looking so sickly and thin.) He gained back maybe 10 while he was living with me between November and January. And I think he may have put on another 10 since then. He's 5'8" and weighs maybe in the mid-130's. So he can afford to put on a few pounds yet.

I was just curious. I know that's a big side effect. When my son was on Zyprexa he gained about 60 lbs. in 6 months and his cholesterol was nearing 600. He changed to Risperdal and that was better.
I'm glad to see your mood is relaxed

O.K., my son just called me and sounded very upbeat and wanted to know if he could help me paint on Sat. I told him that would be great. He also mentioned he wanted to help Sun. I said that would be fine and asked if he wanted to stay overnight it would make things easier. He said "no, no way I have to go back to dad's before it gets dark". He didn't want to tell me why, I didn't push it. He's definitely paranoid about something, but I don't think at the moment it's so much me. I guess we'll see if he actually still wants to come Sat

well thats a positive start!
It may not seem like it but its good and i think its good that u did not push him about staying overnight.
Hopefully in time he will open up more.
Fingers crossed for you on saturday!

I'm sure he'll keep an eye on his weight. He hasn't had a physical recently, so I don't know his cholesterol.

There aren't enough mood words on this site. Last night I was feeling 'content' but that's not available. So I picked 'relaxed.' Today I'm headachy. I slept nearly 8 hours, but I could use more!

It's funny you commented on my mood, because I almost told you I was sorry to see you're depressed. Then I thought it might be confusing.

I've been reading about prognosis for people dx'd with sz lately. It's so much more hopeful than the "experts" would have you believe. It helps me stay calm to remember that right now we're just at one point in a long journey that I'm confident will have a good outcome.

It means so much to be hopeful and confident. I know the importance of positive thinking in all aspects of life. I'm not quite there yet. But I'm working on it.

Thanks!
He doesn't follow through much of the time but we'll see. I wonder how important it is to know what his paranoia is about. I think it would help if he talked about it. He is just so embarrassed about his sz. I'm sure his brother doesn't help.

I feel for you my just turn 18 he has been in placement for 8yrs and hes out and wants to run the streets hes not sz behavor disorder with anger rage he hate when i want help sometimes I fear for his safty he trust eveyone and they use him say are is friend it hurts so much when people do that mentaly sick kids or adults all I can say is keep doing what your doing love him and gave him space keep it real

Speaking as one who has it (paranoia, specifically), I would strongly recommend against bringing it up directly. Doing so will only exacerbate it. If he comes forward with it, that's fine, but drawing attention to it will, in many ways, reinforce it.

It's tough in a lot of ways. It seems to me that folks want to make sense of what fuels the paranoia, but there really isn't any sense to be made of it - it's an unsolvable riddle most of the time.

Kyle here. I'm Tom's brother.

I agree with what bcuz said about my brother's paranoia being a result of something else besides her. The whole thing about "being back at dad's before dark" is very strange because he has been out here at the bars at night. So, I think it could be a paranoia of someone/thing that can find him at my mom's (bcuz's) house here.

However, I wonder of the practical significance of speculating about Tom's thoughts. Can this help in anyway?

Like bcuz, I am at a loss of what to do for Tom. I'm at the point of my life where I am thinking of longterm goals and outcomes, so all I can see right now is my parents dying and Tom having no place to go. My elder brother (the one being a jerk to Tom, let's call him "Rick") is not supportive at all, so I know he won't take Tom in. However, I can't turn my back on my brother with schiz. At this point, I know he is not ready to live independently, but I hope that day will come. Does anyone know how I can be supportive without sounding condescending? I know that Tom feels as if he is inferior to both Rick and I, but I know that's not the case at all. He has his own issues just like we all do and I wish I could just help him through them somehow...

What you're saying sounds reasonable but I feel like if I know what he's paranoid about I can help him through it. You know what, I think what's really going on with me is I have'nt truly accepted his "illness". I just want to shake him or slap him "out of it". I can't believe this is happening to my son. When I was in college I had to make a decision; Psych or ICU, I truley thought I could make a difference if I went into Psych.I chose critical care because it was more practical, I'd be able to work anywhere. The irony is, I could work anywhere except Psych. The reality is, I would make an excellent psych nurse. I'll try to explain....most doctors who become psychiatrist do so because they're crappy doctors. Don't get me wrong there are good, dedicated Psychiatrist, but they are few and far in between. Psychiatry is pretty much subjective, there's not a big chance of killing someone (in theory). In most other medical specialties it's paramount that you are on top of you're game or you really could kill someone. Same thing in nursing. A lot of nurses go into psych because of the same reasons many doctors do. I have seen so many nurses with control issues that work in psych than any other department. I do have some experience in psych, so I'm not totally blowing smoke. Uhhh, I think I've gotten off subject a little. Probably will delete this.

Thanks ph325,
I know how afraid you must feel for you're son. My son also gets taken advantage of easily. That is one of my fears, that my son will get scared or paranoid, delusional and just take off and be on the streets. I have hope that he will get better.
You're right, sometimes in the moment all you can do is love you're child. Thanks for you're comment

hows things going bcuz???

Hey Rapicycla.
I haven't been on for a while, thanks for asking. Everything has been pretty much status qou. Except, this weekend his brother came in from out of town for Easter. He ended spending the night. Tonight? well not so sure. I left early from my sister's. He did say he might spend the night there. I told him not to, they have a lot on their plate, haveing two young kids and not really anywhere for him to sleep. He's trying to avoid staying at my house again tonight. We'll see what happens. I'm waiting for him and his older brother to come home now. He better not stay overnight there!
I've been told by his father that he's afraid I'll call an ambulance/police while he's sleeping??????? Whatever....I cant't rationalize with someone who is sooo irrational. Well, I'm just gonna sit and wait until they come home. If I can stay awake.
-bcuz

((((hugs to u))))

Most schizophrenia to me seems to be a misdiagnosis. Your son is expressing a lot of feelings. I think anyone who can feel, can fully recover. If your son is irrational then cognitive behavioral therapy may help him over come his false beliefs. I'm not a big fan of medication because it deadens ones feelings and reinforces the disorder. In Finland, they have schizophrenia rate of 1 in 100,000 compared to the US where it is 1 in 100. They don't use medications for the most part and their success rate is 90% for first episode psychosis. Schizophrenia isn't a death sentence for most, 2/3 recover to some extent even in the US (though unlike Finland most will be on disability for the rest of their lives).

I wish I could tell you that it was just the pill culture that caused the US's numbers to be so shoddy. Unfortunately, it's a bit more than that.

I've been off meds for about 3 years or so. Sure, it's difficult, but I manage more than not, I think. Problem is, the moment anyone in this country hears the S word, any chance of employment goes out the window. Two main factors contribute to this:


- Any hiring company is terrified of being sued by either customers, other employees or the schizophrenic employee, due to an incident

- Our culture demonizes neurological disorders of all flavors - schizophrenia arguably worst among them - so bias against those with it is extremely high here


Couple that with a bare-bones support system, and it becomes next-to-impossible to get anything useful done here. I don't know that I agree with your assessment about schizophrenia being frequently mis-diagnosed, but I definitely agree with your sentiment that it's handled very poorly here, across the board. Except for this forum, I've yet to find anything even barely adequate in the form of a support system.

Wise words. I wish that the wider community knew this.


I hope all is well with your son and that he soon is at ease with you again.
Its not you remember that.
Its irrational fear.
And boy somethimes you cant fight those fears.
But they do pass given time & a loving surrounding.

Thanks Rapidcycla.

My son ended up staying to whole Easter weekend. I had a nice time with all my sons together. My oldest son was even semi understanding of my schz son. that made life a llitle easier. Well I think I've excepted that he's not going to be in my life any time soon. He only stayed because both his brother's were here. I'm over being heart broken.. I guess I just don't feel anything anymore.
He did drop by on my bday with my sister and her kids and sang happy birthday, then left as quick as he came.
I just must be this scary, mean person that either wants to commit him or kill himm...I wonder which he believes, he won't talk about anything he feels.
I want to get him into therapy but his normal sarcastic response is "no thanks" I guess he's gonna end up being 50 y/o in a nursing home. That's what seems to happen to older adult schizophrenias.
I haven't slept again all night, hope I can now, I feel sleepy, but the roo is so bright, oh well.

Nope, made up an excuse not to come.
bcuz

im sorry that your not seeing better results with him.
Please try not to worry About the future too much, not now.
Are you seeing anyone to talk to about how your sons illness is affecting you?
Dont take it personally, its not you, theres nothing you have done.

i really hope that this situation gets better for you. I feel badly for you. Just go easy with him. Hes paranoid. its not your fault but for now its probably easier on your relationship
If you dont try to influence him too much.
Well not in a direct way.
I really think you getting some professional insight to this situation would be for the best.