[newtus]

im confused.
why is everyone glad or happy
and thanking me for my post that is purely meaningless?

i told my T.
about what the nazis did to me 2 weeks ago.
do i not fight power?
i said im not going to a pdoc.
i said im continually labeled for something
which i understand MAYBE could be seen as delusio....yeaaa
but i dont buy that it is.
i dont tell her i hear voices.
what? im not that stupid
and have her buy into it to too?
nope.
though she may have already.
i told her to never mention labels around me again.
i am kinda mean to her...
...but talking about mental health makes me anxious (IRL)
it angers me...
...a lot...i dont want to be seen as crazy...
...ive seen the effects of being labeled "crazy"...you no longer have a place in society. no place in home. no place in friends. work. school. your treated like an infant. like a 5 year old. like an animal.
i admit...some things i dont want to own up to that ive been labeled.
i wont get specific...

I'm sorry that your going through that feeling. I've been there. I used to go to a partial hospital and people would harrass me by saying I was going to, "daycare" because I was such a baby. It hurt.

People that make you feel that way are cruel.

Labels are for insurance companys I think. They bill under "manic" or "psychosis" like that. When your giving the dr your symptoms they don't think about the diagnosis too much, I beleive. They treat the symptoms you show or tell them.

I like your posts. You seem interesting and you seem to like my posts also.

Thats why I'm glad you posted.

[newtus]

im not quite sure if i believe labels are always for insurance companies.
you know?

then why make up so many different labels in psychiatry? you know?

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

im confused.
why is everyone glad or happy
and thanking me for my post that is purely meaningless?

I was happy to see your post because you haven't been around for a few days and I missed hearing from you.

I don't know. I am aware that the DSM whatever is getting larger. Not my problem.

Ask your dr. They will have an answer, I'm pretty sure.

[newtus]

i dont see a doctor.
but its ok. i was just curious.
im told a lot its for insurance companies.
i believe for some it is.
most not though i believe.
i believe if that were true they wouldnt have so many labels
and psychiatrists would be more caring
F it.
idk.
i truly despise psychiatry.
nm that. im pent up right now.
i kinda had a small episode. i think.
(i have never said that before. am i a deafeted individual?)
i heard knocking on my walls and froze. convinced its a demon come to visit again. i saw an alien face outside my window. (i dont believe in aliens). i was so scared i almost vomited. then i saw spaceship lights outside of my window. then i freak out. i fall onto my floor from anxiety. lay there. get up and its over.
i have a lot of these.
these...mini happenings.
more than often.
things linger and then i flip.
severely.
maybe why i almost went to jail.
i was so blindsided.

The only dangerous demons or meta-physical entities that exist, are the ones we never know about, till it is too late. author- me.

I wish I had an answer for ya, Newtus. Do you want a life free from torment, just skip life on some distant planet in some distant galaxy in some bizzare universe that could be amongst and infinity of other strange universes. Your in an odd place and in an odd time, my friend. Guess what? So am I.

I struggle too. Everyday. Some days are better than others, Newtus.

Pray. invoke. summon. cast. plead. beg. sing. dance. lovenewtussweety

It can be a fun ride or hell, someday you will know what I mean, I'm pretty sure Newtus

[newtus]

ok. great.

Ha ha

[CastlesInTheAir]

My last episode I had in the fall I told some friends of things I saw and felt. One of which was when i first got to the hospital I swore my room was filling up with smoke to suffocate me and my roommate and all the other rooms as well...i saw the smoke and even started coughing...then I saw the grim reaper but he wasent holding a staff he was holding a lighter...so I'm telling my friend this and at the end he says.....quit smoking?

There are so many labels because they've dove into their jobs and need to feel special I guess.

Just like I asked my t why do I need a t and a pdoc? Can't you just handle my meds? So i have to pay two docs and buy my meds? Bullskit!
-Trish
"Don't curse the rain, without it things don't grow. Instead find the beauty in it."