help with hearing voices

Sorry you're in so much pain, newtus. Shay is right. You need to take care of yourself.

Newtus, you arent weak. You are having a natural reaction to taking a lot of meds then quitting cold turkey. Please get help. Do you hace an emergency contact person you can call? Can you call the T you were seeing? If all else faila just call 911 or police department.
Seriously. I can tell from your post ypu arent safe to yourself right now. You are sooo important abd wonderful and precious.

i appreciate the concern.
im home everyday alone from noon til midnight til my father returns home
but he doesnt wake til 8am or 9..some days 10am..cause the hour$
ive calmed a bit blasting classical music: astor piazzolla - la muerte del angel ..in my ears.
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sorry to be so blunt but the police and schizophrenics are like milk and lactose intolerance.
death may ensue.
and im lactose intolerant.

omg
i just wrote that.
its amazing what you write sometimes.

Everyone's experience with the health care system is different. In my state in the US you cannot be forced to follow a specific treatment plan or take meds unless there is a court order, or if you are not your own guardian. Sometimes it can feel like others are forcing you when you really do have a choice.
I like to know when others experiences are different though.

does anyone have any info on texas?
ok! i live there so what.
so..um anyway...tx?....

Good morning, newtus.

I hope you slept well last night and are doing better this morning.

You were the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning.

whoa...
i read that..and ..i just cried.
..i dont cry easy but

..i dont think i know what it is for someone who doesnt know me to think of me really.
your were the second person i thought about it in about the first 3 secs of my eyes opening.

see look theres the patterns in my head connecting everything...people with like things too...like a web
its like..person 123 is in my head..then its person 537 because they are like person 123 because the 3
get it? the web connected them by similarities.
then person 769
891
997
734
etc

im having an awful day.
i always think about my childhood. its exactly still here.
my mother is the biggest spider in the web. shes a black widow.
i wanna get out of here. shes a bully and manipulative she wont stop ;'(
my neighbors mother died a year ago i feel so sad for him
i envy children with good mothers
freud would love me. but he can goto hell.
im brashly ruined. i have some sort of...complex.

IM OVER IT


i mean over whatever "complex"

i hold tightly in my head anyone who cares to share their time anytime with me in their head.

the only thing that brashly ruined me is society. which can goto hell.
i will conquer. these drones..the fields of war planes beaming the insides out of me like a over microwaved grocery store burrito.
yes yes i will.
you all will see. i have something big planned. something huge.
im the killer comeback mix of basquiat & sarte
IM THE NORMA DESMOND OF 2012

Hi Newtus. Yeah i know police suck. I was arrested before.i know they are idiots when it comes to psychological um differences . But i was afraid for your safety. You are very dear to me. Wow, you have webs in your brain. I have a deep dark forest full of bisecting
and disecting complicated converging trails and synapses. Instead on a black widow, my mom is a bad witch. Hope you are doing better. Buy a big can of industrial spider spray. Lol. :-)

I'm glad you were able to get some sleep last night. Can you go talk to your dad and impress on him that you're not doing well right now and you need his help?

newtus-- hoping you will find peace in the new day. i was arrested once too.
they really acted like fools. So, i can "real"ate. I had a broken neck and the cops knew about it ! they still roughed me up! Your'e a fighter newtus.
"Sometimes we have to back up, but we never, ever give up." a USA fighter pilot once said this. FYI -- i don't know what the civil committment laws are in TX.
sorry. It is sometimes highly discretionary based upon the individual and the individual mental health history. Hope your feeling a bit better. You're never alone.

i was arrested in feb 2012. this year. well..i was GOING to be then they called in public safety to talk me down from a delusion after they somehow got the idea i had schizophrenia after looking through my phone.
they had me sitting on the tile in the main college lobby with 3-4 police..2 public safety..1 Privte Inv..and 3-4 maybe 5 faculty. now add that up. thats how many people were surrounding me. there was more but theses were all within 5 ft of me. making sure i stayed down.

public safety talked me into involuntary committal by saying "you think you'd like to explain to a counselor your situation so we can get this sorted out?"

i do have a can of montana 94 red though

spiders have always sent me messages through biting me. i got bit 3 times in one month the first time in my life last year and they have consecutively returned. i attract them because they know who i am.

hah. somehow i didnt need to. he surprised took me to the cmh a couple of weeks ago. tried to do it again.

i have a 10 year history. NOT MY FAULT.
5 year with schizoaffective BUT THATS ON AND OFF. ONLY on for 3 years or so.

thank you for your comments. i am sincerly sorry for your mother.
i have been taught that there is an unofficial rule of Thirds. One third of schizophrenics completely recover from thier illness. Approximately, another one third, improve. and this only leaves a small percentage whose symptoms become worsened or do not improve. If someone does indeed recover, they no longer make the focus of thier life "hearing voices"
As i have stated, they mature and move on. -- Once again, i am sincerely sorry your mother did not improve. Did they ever try alternative treatments with her ? a more holistic approach perhaps? not trying to be naive here. I realize it is a tremendous burden to be caregiver for someone who has suffered for so long. -- Recovery, however does have a basis in reality. and those who recover no longer "hear voices". -- Allow me to go a bit off topic here "Researchers reported that, after 10years, 79% of patients on antipsychotics were psychotic, whereas 23% of those not on medication were psychotic. After 15 years, 65 % of patients on antipsychotics were psychotic., whereas only 28% of those not on medication were psychotic. -- I feel strongly that there exists a correlation between some psych meds and violence or violent tendencies ----the studies authors : (Martin Harrow and Thomas Jobe of the department of psychiatry at the University of Illinois in Chicago.) The research was part-funded by America's national Institute of Mental Health.

No, not your fault.

When my younger son was a teen, he was court ordered to take a DBT class. Since he was a minor, I had to sit through it with him. They covered the assumptions of DBT on the first day. One of those is:

People may not have caused all of their own problems, but they have to solve them anyway.

Not your fault, newtus, but still your problem - as unfair as that may seem right now. You need some help right now. You've asked for help here. I know you've asked for help in "real life" too. You need to ask for help right now.

I have high hopes for you, newtus. One day you'll be like some of the people here who've learned to ride this thing we call psychosis and not let it swamp you so easily. You may actually come to see it as a gift. But right now, today, at this moment I hope you go ask your dad to get you some help.

I've heard this too. I believe it's true. I think it's an important message to get out there, so people know sz doesn't have to be a hopeless dx.

My heart goes out to you, likewater.

i apologize for bombing this thread.

Lots of hugs, hun. I'm thinking about you, too. I remember what it's like to be where you are and hell, it isn't fun.
On the plus size, you really are good with words! I know it's not supposed to make me smile, but I do love the burrito simile. You really could be the comeback of Basquiat and Sartre -- so get better so you can write a fantabulous book, eh?

yea
sometimes im told that.
sometimes im told i sound like i have disorganized thinking
idk

im the urban sartre.
the american urban sartre.
most may not like me
but im famous for a reason you see.

Did you draw your profile picture, newtus?

These things are cyclical. Nobody thinks the same way all the time. Geniuses aren't geniuses all the time; good cooks don't always cook well; beautiful people don't always look beautiful.

Add 'become freestyle poetry jammer/rap star' to your to-do list, hun!

no no i didnt.
its from an interactive book actually.
about a man thats accused of having schizophrenia actually lol and idk what happens. idk if he has it actually or not. not finished reading. the mental health therapist is the DA's son at the police station and is going against the DA to find out if the guy is actually schizophrenic or if he is really telling some truth. idk.
but you read and it says "CALL THIS #" and you call and you can hear the characters what they said.
but the book comes with the guys "belongings" like his "locker" because he's institionalized ATM.

i think that type of reading is called an Alternate Reality Reading Game. you actually use the phone. internet. etc. i was like "...someone left their ID in this book!". it comes with this guys psychiatric "files"

Book

heres his ID. one of the things in there:
http://www.homepagedaily.com/uploads.../personal3.jpg

also has a fake credit card. looks very real...

no no lol.
im really elusive about rap because i dont want to be perceived as ghetto. because i am where i live people arent...very..idk the word..but actually i dont like it but i like poetry without rap...
its just...im really sensitive about my race..im um multiracial really.

Oh, I didn't know you were multiracial! And I didn't know rap was ghetto. Sorry if I offended you. Rap isn't really a genre where I'm from -- just a strange American import -- so I don't know much about it.

My comment about the poetry slam stands though

Poetry slam is how I used to get out all of my weird thoughts. I would fast-pace write them all down into a deftly-formed structure & would go up & speak it. You get a lot more praise with poetry than with disorganized thoughts... And somehow? They're one in the same when it comes to poetry. Still very much enjoyed, especially in the day of modern & free-form poetry.

Ugh. Not thinking write. Sorry if that was a jumbled mess. Damn migraine.

And also, I'm multiracial too! Well it doesn't really show too much. Native American, European, North African.

it can be. depends who you are.
anyone can judge me
im just sensitive about it.
im mexican/black i do have some caucasian in me
more than i thought i found out a few days ago.
my grandfather was mostly white. i didnt kno em
died when i was 4