[fishsandwich]

So my exam today? I started throwing up, then I had a panic attack. I am convinced they do this to me on purpose to hold me back in life because I'm a schizophrenic and they don't want me in their precious legal profession, I'm too dirty and crazy for them. They've said it to me before and they've tried to have me thrown out in the past.
And of course sectioning me was all part of their plan. They don't want me in the bar because they want me to be the sex slave to the men nurses they had rape me.

I don't think there's anything I can do.

[fishsandwich]

Argh, I know this is my paranoia talking and none of these things are related incidents. I KNOW, JUST WHY CAN'T I CONVINCE MYSELF?!?

[fishsandwich]

I threw up. I probably threw up because I have very bad food hygiene standards and I ate two family-sized bags of kettle chips for breakfast. If they didn't want nutters in the Bar, they wouldn't have removed the restrictions keeping us out. The fact that my last university treated me like **** because of the diagnosis has no bearing on how this one treats me because they're not related. THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY I WAS SECTIONED.

fishsandwhich-- my heart goes out to you today. sounds like relapse situation to me. would it be possible to re-take the exams at another scheduled date. when you have less stress in your life and are better prepared. A new day offers new hope. Don't you ever give up. If this is your dream to become a civil litigation lawyer, they you will definitely need a thick skin to get thru it all. good luck, sorry for the setbacks today. stress is managable. Be inwardly peaceful by taking a litttle time in nature, quiet time just for you, lock the bathroom door and taking a ten-minute bath. it helps to balance the noise and confusion that has taken over your day. then re-group. hope this helps.

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I threw up. I probably threw up because I have very bad food hygiene standards and I ate two family-sized bags of kettle chips for breakfast. If they didn't want nutters in the Bar, they wouldn't have removed the restrictions keeping us out. The fact that my last university treated me like **** because of the diagnosis has no bearing on how this one treats me because they're not related. THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY I WAS SECTIONED.

sorry, do they not owe you in the very least a reason why you were
"sectioned" ???

[fishsandwich]

I probably passed anyway, and I can balance out this with three other exams I have to write. I'll be a lawyer just WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO DAMN MUCH AND WHY DO OTHER PEOPLE KEEP STOPPING ME. IT MAKES NO SENSE. I was smart before they drugged me and locked me up, now I'm just a constant wreck from all the trauma. And nobody believes me, ever, how traumatic it was.

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I probably passed anyway, and I can balance out this with three other exams I have to write. I'll be a lawyer just WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO DAMN MUCH AND WHY DO OTHER PEOPLE KEEP STOPPING ME. IT MAKES NO SENSE. I was smart before they drugged me and locked me up, now I'm just a constant wreck from all the trauma. And nobody believes me, ever, how traumatic it was.

I's so sorry fish sandwhich. you are strong. i cannot explain away the hurt. don't think anybody can.

[KUREHA]

Sorry that sucks - my friend got raped by the nurse as well.

I hope that you did pass.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by guru2013

sorry, do they not owe you in the very least a reason why you were
"sectioned" ???

I was suffering from a mental disorder of a nature or degree which made it appropriate for me to receive medical treatment in a hospital; and, it was necessary for [my] health and safety or for the protection of other persons that I should receive such treatment and without [an order under that section] it cannot be provided unless I was detained [under that section]; and, appropriate treatment was available.

I know "why". I just was never told why I fit that criteria. I've never done self-harm, never attempted suicide, certainly never even thought about harming anybody else. I was transferred from a tropical infections ward to a psych ward, from which I absconded.

[fishsandwich]

I'm attracted to one of my lecturers and I only wanted to do well on this exam so he'd be nice to me. BUT NO, CAN'T HAVE THAT. ***** IS FOR RAPING ONLY.

[fishsandwich]

I know better than this.

[KUREHA]

You have to be connected to the right people.

[fishsandwich]

Which people though? Which people?
I know the bloody Home Secretary. I don't know how much more connected I can be.

[KUREHA]

Well I'm connected to MCR - the messages come and so far it has worked - I quote Gerard - people get scared.

[fishsandwich]

I can quote Dante in Italian. Does that count?
I can also quote civil procedure rules FAT LOT OF GOOD THAT DID ME TODAY.

[KUREHA]

You have to have the connection.

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

So my exam today? I started throwing up, then I had a panic attack.

The bar exam is very stressful.

I am convinced they do this to me on purpose to hold me back in life ...

Who are they? And what did they do to you? Make you throw up and have a panic attack?

And of course sectioning me was all part of their plan.

Who had you sectioned?

They don't want me in the bar because they want me to be the sex slave to the men nurses they had rape me.

That seems improbable to me.

I don't think there's anything I can do.

???

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by costello

The bar exam is very stressful.

I actually have food poisoning or something, because I was throwing up all night and I am throwing up now.

Originally Posted by costello

Who are they? And what did they do to you? Make you throw up and have a panic attack? Who had you sectioned?

The doctors had me sectioned. My life ended after they diagnosed me and put me in the hospital.

Originally Posted by costello

That seems improbable to me.

Me too, I just can't come up with any better explanation. They had no good reason to section me, and then I was raped whilst I was there by two different nurses. It's too many horrible things in one go to chalk it all up to chance and circumstance.

[/QUOTE]

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I threw up. I probably threw up because I have very bad food hygiene standards and I ate two family-sized bags of kettle chips for breakfast.

I think you threw up because bar exams are f'ing stressful! The kettle chips probably didn't help, but there's a good chance anything you ate this morning would have come back up. I doubt food hygiene was even an issue here.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by costello

I think you threw up because bar exams are f'ing stressful! The kettle chips probably didn't help, but there's a good chance anything you ate this morning would have come back up. I doubt food hygiene was even an issue here.

I wasn't really stressed about the exams. I did extremely well on my law degree and got a perfect score on the bar school coursework. And I had revised everything. I know it. I mean, I probably would have got stuff wrong on the test, but without the throwing up I had a very good chance . . .
And if the doctors hadn't delayed my life for so long already, I would have postponed. But I don't have that luxury anymore and in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say.

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I actually have food poisoning or something, because I was throwing up all night and I am throwing up now.

Then it's just a coincidence that you were sick on the morning of the exam. That happens.

The doctors had me sectioned. My life ended after they diagnosed me and put me in the hospital.

It doesn't sound to me as if your life has ended, fish.

Me too, I just can't come up with any better explanation.

I think the sex-slave-to-male-nurses-motivation-for-sectioning-someone theory is a long shot. I don't know why you were sectioned, but I'm going to have to put that one on the highly unlikely pile. Anyway it seems to be completely independent from the law school and the bar examiners. What's the connection? Are the school, the bar, and the doctors in cahoots in a scheme to provide low-paid mental health workers with sex slaves? If so, why?

They had no good reason to section me, and then I was raped whilst I was there by two different nurses.

I'm sorry you were abused. That's horrible.

It's too many horrible things in one go to chalk it all up to chance and circumstance.

I think systems which give people power over other people without being held accountable will lead to this kind of abuse. It's not chance so much as ... idk ... human nature? I hate to say that. But people hurt other people. Not all, but too many.

[fishsandwich]

I want to e-mail my mother and tell her all this. That I'm really unhappy, and that I was raped by two different men in the hospital, and that because of the ECT she made me get I can't remember four years of my life, and that I don't know how to get over the trauma of the psychiatrists and that I stopped drugging myself three years ago now.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by costello

Then it's just a coincidence that you were sick on the morning of the exam. That happens.

I know. I just don't fully believe it.

Originally Posted by costello

It doesn't sound to me as if your life has ended, fish.

It sure feels like it. All I ever was is a genius freak who did schoolwork, now I can barely get through an exam without crying about the torture.

Originally Posted by costello

I think the sex-slave-to-male-nurses-motivation-for-sectioning-someone theory is a long shot. I don't know why you were sectioned, but I'm going to have to put that one on the highly unlikely pile. Anyway it seems to be completely independent from the law school and the bar examiners. What's the connection? Are the school, the bar, and the doctors in cahoots in a scheme to provide low-paid mental health workers with sex slaves? If so, why?

I'm like your son, I get really upset if everything doesn't fit into a nice scheme.

Originally Posted by costello

I think systems which give people power over other people without being held accountable will lead to this kind of abuse. It's not chance so much as ... idk ... human nature? I hate to say that. But people hurt other people.

There's a list of reasons why an English court will will take jurisdiction over a case where they otherwise wouldn't. It's if the defendant will be exposed to torture, other serious human rights abuses (rape, racism, denial of process), or degrading treatment in the other forum. But I was exposed to every single one of those things (except racism) in England and nobody did anything, so why do the courts care in that circumstance but not in mine?!

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

And if the doctors hadn't delayed my life for so long already, I would have postponed. But I don't have that luxury anymore and in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say.

So you perceive that the doctors have interfered with the trajectory of your life, and the life you have now is inferior to the one you were slated to have and would have had if they'd left you alone? And you're trying to hurry up and catch up with the bus you were meant to be on?

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by costello

So you perceive that the doctors have interfered with the trajectory of your life, and the life you have now is inferior to the one you were slated to have and would have had if they'd left you alone? And you're trying to hurry up and catch up with the bus you were meant to be on?

Exactly. The life I did have until they got in the way. Now I'm trying to get that life back somewhat, but I can't seem to.