Hello

newtus · Dec 12, 2012, 04:28 PM

hello my name is newtus i am 22 years old.

for the past year i have not been on meds. but many hospitalizations. and of course police interference.

i have paranoid schizophrenia.

now. the thing i want to confess is - is that i smoked pot when i was 15 and i solidified psychosis for me i think even though i had psychosis before it too. i havent used pot since i was 15 except for a week ago i used for the first time in 6-7 years. it has led me on a obsession to smoke pot. it has opened up my mind like a second layering peeling off. i can practically feel it.

costello · Dec 12, 2012, 05:11 PM

Hey, newtus.

pegasus · Dec 12, 2012, 05:13 PM

Hi newtus!

newtus · Dec 12, 2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Hey, newtus.

hello thank you for the support by replying to my thread.

newtus · Dec 12, 2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pegasus

Hi newtus!

hello thank you

faerie_moon_x · Dec 12, 2012, 06:15 PM

hello Newtus

newtus · Dec 12, 2012, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

hello Newtus

hello how are u

newtus · Dec 12, 2012, 06:41 PM

i was confessing

costello · Dec 12, 2012, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i was confessing

Do you want to be absolved?

Are you planning on continuing with the pot? Do you feel like it had a good effect or bad? I think you know me well enough to know that I'll say that I don't think pot and a tendency to psychosis are a good mix.

If you're saying you want to quit and you need advice on how to deal with the cravings, I'd say to leave it alone, and the cravings will lessen.

Anyway it's good to see you posting here again.

newtus · Dec 12, 2012, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by costello

Do you want to be absolved?

Are you planning on continuing with the pot? Do you feel like it had a good effect or bad? I think you know me well enough to know that I'll say that I don't think pot and a tendency to psychosis are a good mix.

If you're saying you want to quit and you need advice on how to deal with the cravings, I'd say to leave it alone, and the cravings will lessen.

Anyway it's good to see you posting here again.

yes i do know you quite well

ill just be honest
i would like to continue it. because i feel it opened up my head. not cleared my head but opened up something.

at the same time i havent smoked in about 7 years and i didnt drink until i was 21. right now im drinking a lot - smoking - and my wanting to do other things.

i kinda felt like i needed to get it off my chest. i wouldve gone to confessionals but i am not catholic at all. it just seems fun.

idk my tendency to psychosis. its mixed like i dont understand im confused. if psychosis is voices and paranoia and muddled thinking then that would be me on the regular and mostly regularly now for some reason.

at the same time ive really given up on myself altogether i feel like i dont care so much anymore as to what happens to me. more on that later.

OutofTune · Dec 13, 2012, 03:37 AM

I was obsessed with smoking pot during my most socially isolated years. I spent years and years doing nothing but smoking pot. I'm convinced it led to my psychosis. Now when I do it, it's like throwing fuel on a fire. Pot and psychosis simply do not mix well.

faerie_moon_x · Dec 13, 2012, 10:18 AM

Personally I think that pot itself isn't that big of a deal. I think a lot of what we know about it is false, and it's actually not the horrible evil. I've done some research on it because where I live medical marajuana is a legal thing, and I've seen that there is a lot of split opinions on the research done for it, especially in the mental health field. I smoked as a teen as well, only socially. And I understand what you mean when you say "it opened something up" or made you feel clear. I understand that. I remember for me the first time I tried it, I looked my friend right in the face and said, "I'm only thinking one thought at a time." This was amazing to me. It felt like the storm in my head settled down.

I find it unfortunate that there are not more research studies or something we can participate in to discover if in small doses or moderation it could help people with mental health issues.

That being said, I think it's like any other type of medication or alcohol in that it should be done properly and in moderation. If you're also drinking a lot and thinking of doing other things, then that could be a sign you're trying to self-medicate which can be dangerous. Too much of anything is bad.

Be careful and don't go down the wrong road.

newtus · Dec 13, 2012, 01:26 PM

thanks

perhaps i am self medicating idk. im definitely not doing to be better i am just doing it.

faerie_moon_x · Dec 13, 2012, 03:10 PM

Well, just be careful. I think some drinking and some pot is not so bad from time to time, as long as it doesn't interact with other meds or as long as you know it doesn't do bad things or you personally. But, falling over the edge is what is dangerous or into other drugs is dangerous. Or like I think LSD or hallucinagens isn't such a good idea with psychosis as it basically is self-induced psychosis in my opinion.

Just be careful and safe.

OutofTune · Dec 13, 2012, 03:41 PM

I wish I could still enjoy pot. I don't understand how anyone with psychosis could enjoy it. Your meds must really kick arse.

newtus · Dec 13, 2012, 06:09 PM

i dont take meds.

i mean when im put in the hospital and given meds i take it so i can get out.

um i mean...perhaps you cant understand although i have a tough time like anyone else im just ...meds are just...i dont like medications and i tell doctors that. they take it well thankfully and try and talk me into it. i kinda just got out of the hospital. i hope im not treaded on for - but - i kinda just got out. a month or so ago. i mean idk thats kinda.

idk i have a tough time too. im just adding that. im used to a lot of my psychosis or whatever it would be called hearing voices and feeling paranoid.

Gr3tta · Dec 17, 2012, 09:41 PM

hi newtus. i missed you.

i have no real opinion on whether pot does or doesn't have anything to do with psychosis, but i just wanted to say hello.

Dec 17, 2012, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

yes i do know you quite well

ill just be honest
i would like to continue it. because i feel it opened up my head. not cleared my head but opened up something.

at the same time i havent smoked in about 7 years and i didnt drink until i was 21. right now im drinking a lot - smoking - and my wanting to do other things.

i kinda felt like i needed to get it off my chest. i wouldve gone to confessionals but i am not catholic at all. it just seems fun.

idk my tendency to psychosis. its mixed like i dont understand im confused. if psychosis is voices and paranoia and muddled thinking then that would be me on the regular and mostly regularly now for some reason.

at the same time ive really given up on myself altogether i feel like i dont care so much anymore as to what happens to me. more on that later.

That has happened to me recently too my friend

newtus · Dec 21, 2012, 02:47 AM

i guess i decided to update this by saying i think i am just drinking and using drugs to numb my depression. i honesly didnt think i was but i think maybe i am now. im still using them.