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I decided not to call the nurse.
It's not like I'm going to kill myself, so there isn't really any point calling her, she said this week is always busy. So other people need her more than me, if I get really freaked out I'll call the police. They said its quiet.

My stalker is on google maps on the street view and guess what colour jumper RED !

I hate feeling like this.
It's only going to be another year of the exact same.

Still there - still kind of not to bad for now.
I didnt call the nurse though and I won't tomorrow or Friday, then again it's more of a police thing anyway.

i dont trust the police. they can suck my non existant d**k.

i take matters into my own hands...

I do it when I run out of ideas/options.

I have saw a couple that seem ok.
The rest just laugh at me or look at me like WTF !!!

let me say something kureha

when it comes to this - police are last resort.

...they ARENT on OUR side. the side of truth and true justice.

Yeah, it's not like they have ever actually helped.

I think it depends on the officer. Some are good and some are bad. Some will help and some will roll their eyes. It's like anything. If you find a good officer that will help you, then that's great. But, I don't know how police are assigned and if you will get the same one all the time. Also, best to not call on them all the time, but when things are really bad.

I've called them/been there too much - but that's because they never listened, then sometimes I'd get the ones involved, how does a police officer know my ex psychologist is on holiday - I didn't even say what she was called

I called the police a couple of times. I used to think people were walking around outside my bedroom window at night. I was too scared to look out. I think I called 3 times. This was many years ago. No one was ever found. So then my dad started putting me down for calling the police when I didn't need them.... when I moved to a new house, I never heard that "walking around" noise any more (like people walking around in the leaves,) until just last year. I heard it. So I jumped up and looked out, but no one was there at all.... That's the last I've heard it.

I'm going to give up calling them - the nurse as well - although I haven't called her yet.
I think it's only for suicide anyway and I'm more likely to hurt someone else than myself.
There was 1 time I called my ex psychologist the day before my appointment though - but everyone was stressing me out, the nurse shouting at me over the phone, then my parents and I hadn't done anything and she called me back in a few minutes, even though it just about time for her to leave and she totally understood - she's awesome.

I heard someone try the front door yesterday - it was late morning, I checked but no one was there.

If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself or others, that is definately the time to call your nurse or doctor. Just stay safe.

It's not totally serious yet - it's just kind of there.
So they are obviously doing something.

Well, just remember that thoughts of hurting yourself or others are demon thoughts and you can fight them. You are more powerful than those thoughts. It may not seem like it, but you are. So, if you're in trouble call for help. It's okay to ask for help at those times.

It's mind control - I never used to know that.
I might call if it gets worse - well it will be my appointment when she gets back.

Well, you know, that whole mind control thing isn't as powerful as you think. In my faith, I believe we're all incredibly powerful beings. Like why do think demons would want to possess a human if they were so powerful? Oh yeah, because we're more powerful than they are, that's why. Like, way more powerful. Many beliefs try to trick you into thinking that humans are the weak ones. But that's actually incredibly wrong. We have tremendous life force and capability, far surpassing any type of technology. The thing is, our power is subtle. Since it doesn't have that flash bang of "movie magic," people tend to disregard it. That's why it pisses me off when people say aliens built the pyramids, or whatever. It really sells us short.

So, anyway, no one can control your mind if you don't want them to. Not demons, or angels, or whatever those gang stalkers are. There are ways to learn to block off your mind from that stuff through meditation alone. It takes work to learn it, and focus, but it can be done. There are people who are masters at blocking and spiritual healing. Maybe this is something you'd like to look into.

There's a book, the Silva Mind Control Method. Now, that sounds like controling people's minds. But actually, it's about learning to "control" your own mind. I didn't read the book but I used to know a lady who taught me things from it, like self-hypnosis and working to attain alpha brain waaves. I think a lot of the techniques were described in that move the Men Who Stare at Goates or something like that with, George Clooney and Ewan McGregor.

Anyway, just trying to think of things that might help you.

Thanks

I tried meditation one time - it was hard, I was just thinking of other things. I think it's lead that can help, but it's only going to do so much, it's about 60 years they've been working on it.

It does work well though - I can think of 2 that were all over the news last year.

The 1 time I tried it though, it felt wrong - I'm not super regilous, barely at all, it is really hard though.

Well, you dont' have to be religious to learn meditation. It is hard. I used to be very good at it, I could hypnotize myself. I could cure my headaches with just meditations, etc. Anyway, my thoughts are racing so fast all the time now, I can't focus long enough.

It's really hard to concentrate.
My nurse said to delay driving lessons for the same reason.