[newtus]

i have this running through my head
a male and female sounding voice that comment on what i do.

so i talk to them about all this stuff. on and on and on.

anyone?

[faerie_moon_x]

Are they commenting good or bad? If they are negative, then maybe work on ways to get them to turn what they say around. If positive, well, then I guess just something that is part of who you are.

[newtus]

its neither. its neutral. sometimes negative.

"shes turning the radio on"
"why are you doing that?"
then theyll say stuff "dont do that" "do this"
then like "look at her"

whatever etc. then they ask me questions about things and tell me things i never knew before.

[Permanent Pajamas]

Originally Posted by newtus

i have this running through my head
a male and female sounding voice that comment on what i do.

so i talk to them about all this stuff. on and on and on.

anyone?

What are you talking about with them?

[Permanent Pajamas]

Originally Posted by newtus

its neither. its neutral. sometimes negative.

"shes turning the radio on"
"why are you doing that?"
then theyll say stuff "dont do that" "do this"
then like "look at her"

whatever etc. then they ask me questions about things and tell me things i never knew before.

I think your voices know my voices. It's a running commentary on everything you do.

In my case, I can never do anything right. No matter what I do, it's wrong. It's a constant judgmental diatribe.

Is that what it's like for you?

[newtus]

honestly mostly about gov issues and what i need to do. they tell me to do things like where to hide where to go or where to send letters off to

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

I think your voices know my voices. It's a running commentary on everything you do.

In my case, I can never do anything right. No matter what I do, it's wrong. It's a constant judgmental diatribe.

Is that what it's like for you?

sometimes. and then sometimes they help me.

[Permanent Pajamas]

Originally Posted by newtus

honestly mostly about gov issues and what i need to do. they tell me to do things like where to hide where to go or where to send letters off to

Sounds familiar. Mine BS me. They once told me I have a dedicated satellite because they're protecting me with it.

I don't believe anything they say. They lie constantly.

Mine have helped me, but not as much as they've hurt me.

What do they help you with?

[newtus]

yea sounds familiar

mine said i need to prepare for homelessness...
but i dont think they are lying

so i gave all my clothes away to goodwill and giving all my books away right now. i only have 1 pants and 4-5 shirts now and 3 shoes to live on.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

Sounds familiar. Mine BS me. They once told me I have a dedicated satellite because they're protecting me with it.

I don't believe anything they say. They lie constantly.

Mine have helped me, but not as much as they've hurt me.

What do they help you with?

well yea mine hurt me more
but they tell me where people are hiding.

like they said in a cabin in the woods where i live...but i honestly believe they are right. i told my dad this and he says no one is there but i think hes entirely off. SOMEONE is there.

[Permanent Pajamas]

Originally Posted by newtus

yea sounds familiar

mine said i need to prepare for homelessness...
but i dont think they are lying

so i gave all my clothes away to goodwill and giving all my books away right now. i only have 1 pants and 4-5 shirts now and 3 shoes to live on.

OMG, don't do that. Mine said something like that to me, that I was going to be committed. I have practically nothing left and it was all a big lie.

I'm slowly doing things like buying dishes again.

Don't give your things away.

[newtus]

well i mean...i already gave my clothes away. cant get that back.

i dont think they are lying.

see right now they are telling me to prove that my parents are my real parents. they keep saying im lying.

I only have one voice that comments on me. Okay He isnt just a voice, I know He is real, cos I see Him every day. He doesn't give a running commentry all the time, cos He goes off to do stuff and goes missing for some days. But when He is around and I dont agree with Him or dont do as He suggest, then He either whispers at me all the time or screams and shouts. Like intertuptting me all the time, its not good. Just imagine trying to talk to someone, like I had to talk to my solicitior about real important stuff, but He kept saying bad stuff to me, confusing me and constantly talking over me. This happens. It does. Its not good. So I would say I agree on the comments.

It can be distressing and very upsetting. more because I am unable to talk to others , its like He is jealous or something. I dont think others can understand. I didnt want to tell my solicitor, because now these sort of people think I must have something wrong with me, when I dont so whatever I have told the solicitor could be made up! No it isnt! But my friend told the solicitor that I go to the crisis team which is now the CMHT and now I dont know what the solicitor thinks!

I cant blame Him, sometime He says good stuff to me and has really helped in my life and for about 15 years it was all good. Life was good. I just went along with what He said and everyday we had a conversation, am i even making sense, confusing this is, and then all of a sudden one day when I refused to quit my work, He turned on me. Downhill from there.

[Permanent Pajamas]

Originally Posted by newtus

well i mean...i already gave my clothes away. cant get that back.

i dont think they are lying.

see right now they are telling me to prove that my parents are my real parents. they keep saying im lying.

It's the voices who are lying.

[Permanent Pajamas]

BadDay, it's strange you should mention being prodded to quit your job.

My voices hounded me out of mine before I figured out they were lying. I tried to go back but they really F'd with me. I couldn't do it.

[newtus]

its eiver gov mkultra weapons or ghosts/demons talking to me.

the FACT is is that mkultra weapons ARE real. so its most likely that. people wanna knock em but they are here and real and here to stay. sorry. lets be honest.

[faerie_moon_x]

I agree with Permanent Pajamas that the voices are the ones that are lying. And they are trying to trick you by telling you lies. So, don't listen to them if you can.

Also... Permanent Pajamas is a rather awesome name, LOL.

[newtus]

but they tell me stuf fi never eben knew before

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, maybe then write down a list of what they tell you and mark off the things that seem like lies. Like trying to make you prove your parents are your real parents... even if you were adopted that doesn't mean they aren't your parents. You know?? Or if they are putting you down and being negative. I guess... just be careful with them.

[newtus]

they dont think im adopted. they think im lying to them about my parents. its a racial thing. they keep wanting me to show them pics of my parents cause they dont believe they are seperate races but they are.

[Permanent Pajamas]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Well, maybe then write down a list of what they tell you and mark off the things that seem like lies. Like trying to make you prove your parents are your real parents... even if you were adopted that doesn't mean they aren't your parents. You know?? Or if they are putting you down and being negative. I guess... just be careful with them.

That's a really good suggestion. I wish I'd thought of that when I was in full-blown psychosis. Things might have worked out better than they have.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

That's a really good suggestion. I wish I'd thought of that when I was in full-blown psychosis. Things might have worked out better than they have.

Don't worry about trying to think of things when having full blown psychosis. If you were like me you probably had lack of insight and things like that. The key is now we can figure out strategies so if it happens again hopefully our strategies will help us.

[newtus]

when im really bad i live second by second not thinking.

hm wich is wha im doing now but i dont think im bad right now

too much analyzation -- LIVE

Permanet Pajamas, the thing is I didn't quit. He warned me. One day I was pulling upto work, and I didnt even know how I got there, He said in a very direct and clear voice to quit otherwise there will be trouble. He didnt say if He would cause it or if it would be some other trouble and sure enough after two weeks of me ignoring Him and arguing, my work started making stuff up about me and got me into some big trouble. So I quit, I coudlnt take it, but then I thought about it and told work that it wasn't me but just like a premonition , they just told me no they wont take me back because that sounds like a strange excuse for quitting.

But they still got the police on my case and its still going on 3 years later! I dont even know whats going on, just see a solicitor sometimes, and I know the solicitor thinks , well I dont know what he thinks obviously, just oh Im confused myself again and all of you. Ignore it.

I dont know about Him telling lies to me, because some of the stuff He tells me to do makes sense, its not all bad, a lot helps me. Okay a lot alos messes me up and causes trouble, but thats life. Life is about up and downs, nothing can ever be perfect and a lot is messed up. Everything can end right now.

I mean I heard some woman died because she drank too much coke cola! I drink it, but about one glass a day, nothing happened to me!

[newtus]

i quit drinking sodas 2 years ago. but started having sprite every couple months. never drink coke thoug.

my liquid diet is mostly tea - water - coffee.
days when i dont eat solid food all i drink is coffee.
well except a month ago i started binge drinking

anyway
life is verniversum
these people...in my H3AD want me to send another letter to abc.............................