Roll Call Eight

I ate a meal about three hours ago.

I slept a bit last night. More than previous nights. But not much.

They're taking advantage of me I can't let them. It's storming. They're sending in more of them.

they come thro rain pellets? aka pellets. bullets. rain drop bullets. i say this with respect.

Yeah I rarely go rent dvds because I do have Netflix and there's tons of movies on there. But the store gets the next season dvds quicker than it goes on Netflix. So for the ten bucks I rented the entire season five which consists of four discs which is 17 episodes. Plus there's extras & deleted scenes on there. I get to keep them for 7 days for that ten buck rental fee. So it's a really good deal I think. I still haven't made it home yet. I'm sitting in the parking lot @ my oldest daughter's job waiting for her to get off work so I can give her a ride home with me. I'm really excited to start watching my show!

No in the lightening. They come down in the lightening. And hide as trees.

Hey newtus, just so you know I stopped responding to you all the time because I felt you were rejecting my responses. I did not take this personally, it didn't make me mad or anything, I just thought maybe you would prefer if I kept my thoughts to myself.
Just letting you know. Hopfully no hard feelings on either side.

@cracking slowly - I love to watch a whole season or more of a show all at once! I am glad you are excited. That sounds like fun.

i wasnt. the only posts i reject are those that say i lie about my issues and say im not really dealing with schiz. which has only been one person on here a year ago.

i took 5mg of xanax. in tempted to take more. just cause i like how it makes me feel..

i like ur posts. uve really helped me with those numbers. even though i couldnt find them again. :/

i just realizd my famly hAs no idea of my xanax addiction . i say that cuz i heard my mom recently telling me of my cousins addiction to pain pills. hes going to rehab for a year. ao no not n0t 1.

Why would anyone say such things? Rude assholes

Does anyone else forget to eat? Happens same time as when I stop talking

Sometimes yes. Food isn't important sometimes. Mostly I forgot to eat on purpose because I'm bad, but yeah.

Often I don't want to speak but people make me.

I think my son would if he weren't so afraid of losing weight. He says he never gets hungry. He just forces himself to eat several meals each day.

I really don't get why Xanax and the whole family of benzo's are still being Rx'd as if it's candy. Not directed toward you personally Newtus , but WTH are they thinking when benzo's are so addictive, so easily to Od on etc?

Damn, admittedly I would consume mass quantities of that stuff if I had a recurring Rx, yet I was on 'em before (yummy) and even on a small dose daily they are a set up for what is called rebound anxiety, and of course good old- fashioned addiction, which I don't want. It's way too tempting in my weakest moments to cave in and take mass quantities in order to escape reality. I have to be really honest with myself about these things because I want to get better and not make things worse.

For a brief 6 months or so I smoked pot because I thought it helped me. I was adamant about it's medicinal use. I still am an advocate for it's being legalized, but what started for me as a way to relax and sleep and be mellow, soon blossomed into an absolute addiction (I had to have my medicine!) also I became psychotic on it.

As much as I'd like to, drinking alcohol is a no-no for me as well. It hasn't been easy to accept that I can't drink or smoke pot or take other stuff, but for me that is what I have had to do to get better and I am getting better.

That's why I won't ask for them because, if they're so amazing, why wouldn't I want to take them all the time?!

...

Poor Maxy isn't feeling well. He's been sick 5 times this afternoon and is feeling very sorry for himself We're having cwtches to hopefully make him feel better

*Willow*

Willow: I couldn't understand what you said in that last sentence. I hope Max is ok. ((( (hugs)))) What is wrong?

Ah Mimi it seems I've outed myself slightly lol. Cwtch is the Welsh word for cuddle. We had a nice big cuddle (or cwtch lol) and then went for a little walk and he seems better in himself now. He hasn't been sick since but I haven't tried him with food yet, so will keep an eye on him still. Poor thing!

*Willow*

I feel wired and on edge paranoid why won't they stop watching me???

im with you

There's a thing going around about a birth control recall in Canada and I looked at my meds today and I had a thought how do I know what I'm really taking I only have the pharmacists word on what it is it could be anything an how do I know they're safe I only have their word on it and I don't know these people how can I trust them.

People are two faced liars there are so many of them I'm not supposed to trust people is what I was taught I can't trust these people I don't know I trust you people on the Internet more than them because you can see what they're up to why hould I believe any of them

I am preparing for a math placement test and am all mathed out at the moment. It is all coming back so that is great. I write the test on Wednesday to determine what math class I can take. I'll probably have to take two classes, before I can be admitted into neuroscience.

Willow, I saw your post in my neurodevelopmental hypothesis thread. Thanks.

I smell brownies. There ain't no brownies cooking or made...

Well it seems like the meds have finally kicked in! I've been feeling great the past week and I hope it continues! My sleep though has gone out the window! Argh! But everything else seems to be ok I guess
I send positive vibes to u all and hope u guys have a great weekend!