Roll Call Twelve

I didn't know people ate Vicks vapour rub.
Going to try that later.

what does it do for you?

Don't think it's meant to do anything, but it leaves a weird after taste.
It's just an alternative way to use it.

Kureha...you made me laugh!
Ugg! I always wondered what it would be like...lol

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the secret of the case manager.

why cant i get one still despite all my needing one

Good question.

Have you ever had one before?

no but i been repeatedly told in hospital i should have one or need one and for some reason i goto my clinic and ask and they run around the question.

I have never heard of that.

Do you know how much help you could get if you had one?????

Im not saying everyone should have a case manager but in some circumstances, just having one can make your life so much easier.

You may want to insist next time your at the clinic. Be an advocate for yourself until you get an advocate that can do that for you.

ive tried to ask but they ask why i want one and listed some things like a year ago and i dont even remember what i say and now idk

i heard they do all sort of stuff

but i could use help with my medicare/medicaid. my money. finding more support groups in real life. maybe other things idk

This comment was towards psychiatry not to a particular individual. I replied to G3rtta's post because I think there is too much diagnosing and misdiagnosing going on. Laypeople tend to use major psychiatric diagnoses as excuses and/or jokingly. Some do it because they want to be mentally ill. Yes, there are people like that. Apparently it is cool to be mentally disordered. Huh? No, I am not trying to imply a certain message to a particular individual. I am writing based on my observations from my hospitalizations and university.

Every post here is open to comment. Trying to navigate what to respond to is hard. I know all about that, because some of my posts have been misinterpreted. Sometimes it is hard to judge whether a response will be taken the wrong way or not. A member doesn't know until they post. It's a risk that we take.

We regulars have good intentions and want people here to succeed and find contentment in life. I don't think anyone here is out to hurt other members.

i prob need be more careful what i post. because i continuinly get taken out of context. jesus christ i dont mean to take things in a joking way. any disorder.

im not trying to say i have or want an eating disorder

i just wasnt. sh_t...

but i learned i cannot be as open here anymore and thats a shame. i wont lie i miss some the old regulars but thats whatever now.

i got taken way out context because i wasnt making fun or wishing i had an eating disorder. period.

i just learned i cant be as open.
and that sucks.

i should prob even post less...

Posting less isn't going to solve the problem, and you know it.

What's interesting to me is that you say you get less responses as time goes on... but when people DO reply you feel "ganged up on".

What do you want as far as responses go? It's something to think about and maybe even post about. If you don't tell people what you want/need in terms of responses then someone is going to inevitably say the wrong thing.

well i dont feel i post about my problems anymore.
i feel like i post whats on my mind.
maybe im not clear about what i post.
i seriously thought posting less would solve the problem. doesnt it seem like it?

it doesnt help to say what i want from responses becuase it will just all be fake. because i asked for it.

You are quite open here. Doesn't that scare you? Do you fear getting recognized by someone like family or old friends? This is a big fear for me.

My reply to Gr3tta had nothing to do with you. Reread my previous post. Where in it does it make a reference to you? This isn't the first time you have misinterpreted one of my posts, so I am a bit reluctant to respond to you.

People come and go here. It is the nature of the internet and life. Unfortunately life isn't static. It would be great if it was, but it would also be our undoing. Conflict isn't all bad. We can learn so much from it and even refine ourselves.

People here care about you. Don't quit posting.

If this makes you feel a little bit better, I have never been able to be completely open here.

yes all the time. thats why around some time i kinda stopped posting about my problems. (that and because it was a hassle to resay them) but i wont be seen by old people i knew because i barely knew anyone. ive been largely a hermit. anyone i know besides family were merely acquaintance-like. nothing more. and i could only think of 1 fam member that would see this.

but i think about this all the time.
the more i post specific stuff the more i regret it and no matter what i may just start to back off a little here. or continue posting non specific things. because of that a bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee My reply to Gr3tta had nothing to do with you.

understandable.

my doctor thinks i have schizophrenia.....i don't like that diagnosis...i have experienced thought disorder before but it isn't constant and only comes when I'm stressed out or going through an episode.... and i thought thought disorder was a must?...is it?...but there is nothing wrong...why can't people just see that? its just something I'm going through..that is all.

actually its a series of doctors that think i have it...the one i see now in the hospital and my pervious doctor mentioned it in a referral to an out patient program...i don't get it...i really don't...

well i found to be relunctant only as time goes on.
i may seem open now but i was way open before.
i still have many troubles that i dont discuss here that i used to discuss.
and well...that troubles me by itself. because i want to say some things but for many reasons i wont anymore. i keep some things to myself. so i used to be way more open.

i am alone most fht of the time so i dont have a person to converse with most of the time so i dont get a place to let it out. i mean...i have a therapist NOW but only seen her 4 times in that 4 months. so it hasnt been enough to say i got another ear to listen for me.45 min a month does nothing.

but anyway...i just find that hurting. deep down. but idk what am i gonna do you know.

I get the impression you feel stuck. Is that a fair assessment? What would help?

Are you still doing photography and art? You definitely have a gift for photography. I think you should explore this outside of your home. It may involve some uncomfortable feelings like interacting with others, but it will help you feel connected to others and it will distract you from thinking about your problems.

In my city there is an art program for people with mental illness. Perhaps this is something you can look into (if you want to of course). Just a suggestion.

It's not a must. Common, yes. But not a must. It's possible to have schizophrenia with other symptoms without thought disorder being prominent. Also, in schizophrenia the symptoms don't have to be constant. They can come and go.

im not aware of any art programs for mental illness. im still in the rural. i mean theres nothing in this town of 600 people. and i havent seen anything next to it. town. not much oppurtunity here.

um
idk what i feel.
i mean despite all i post on i still dont feel listened to or helped. despite my therapist. what do i need help with? i dont know.
so maybe i do feel stuck. idk. i dont feel i can even be helped. in general anyway.

my pictures are nothing amazing.
i take pictures of pictures after i write on them. thats all really.

dang it....this sucks....i don't wanna be diagnosed with this....its hard to accept that they're even considering that i might have it!

Don't you have a major city nearby that you can drive to a few times a month?

This would be a good topic to discuss with your therapist.

Thinking like this isn't going to help. How do you know you are a lost cause? I don't think you are a lost cause, even though I don't know you.

I don't know about that. I have seen work similar to yours in mainstream magazines, such as Discover.

I just heard from my mother. We are having a Christmas gathering on the east coast. I haven't left this city in over two years so am dying for vacation. Now, I need to purchase a train ticket.

she was just giving her thoughts and ye pushed her down the stairs!